2009 predictions for Ireland

The New Year is here and we don’t know whether to laugh or cry, celebrate or mourn. We in Ireland wave goodbye to 2008 with all of its depressing lows only in the certain knowledge that 2009 will be much worse. This time next year 2008 will seem like a great year.
The calamities of 2008 are the foundation stone of what lies ahead. Unfortunately, the same shower of fools and incompetents that supposedly run this country are the link between the two years. They are still in power – that’s the only link - and one which most of us would like to sever.
The administration of the country has been exposed for what it is; incompetent, corrupt and festooned with a golden circle of bankers, bureaucrats and politicians all intertwined in the business of extracting the fattest farthing from the most hapless victims and in doing so condemning the country to a depression unlike we have ever seen.
Greed was the common denominator of those in power and those with the money. Our Government is not possessed of a decent negotiator to look the banks in the eye when trying to rescue them. The banks got their guarantees and re-capitalized on their very generous terms. They laughed up their sleeves coming out of meetings with Cowen and Cowards Unlimited (CCU).
At this time, Ireland makes Haiti look positively democratic and corruption- free. CCU is happy to allow the banks walk all over them and in order to pay for it they deny 12-year old girls a miracle cervical cancer vaccine that would cost €10 million.
So what is the future? Well, how about this scenario, not in any chronological order?
CCU are shafted, partly from within, in the aftermath of the June local Elections in which support for Fianna Fail disintegrates. In the General election that follows, Fine Gael become the largest political party, mainly for the reason that they possess the most talented economist and Finance Minister in Richard Bruton, and having him in that position is the only reason that leader Enda Kenny becomes Taoiseach. They manage to form a Government with the aid of defected Fianna Failers and loose independents.
Not that this changes anything.
By June, 650,000 are on the dole, Civil Service worker are refusing to do anything because they have had to take pay cuts. Nobody notices this.
The IMF is in control of the country. The medical service has collapsed. Foreign aid from Latvia and Poland help with food supplies. Zimbabwe sends medical supplies. Houses fall to an average of €1.23 each with those in the leafier Dublin suburbs fetching €2.50.
Massive emigration means that countries such as Australia introduce a ban on Irish entering the country. We go to Russia instead where we are welcomed and put to work at menial tasks in return for food and shelter. As a quid pro quo, Russia takes over Ireland and uses it as site for nuclear missile launchers.
By then it is Christmas and we all write to Santa Claus.
Happy New Year!