3&4 of The 10 things they don't tell you

3. Dublin Airport. For the first time visitor to Ireland, your initial impression of the country starts with your airport experience. It is the same when you visit any country. Airports by their very nature are busy places and the test of an efficient and smoothly operating airport is the levels of stress that the traveler experiences getting in our out of the place.

Be prepared for a zoo at Dublin Airport! If you have never visited the country, and are thinking of doing so, look at alternative methods of entering the country. If you are on an Ireland vacation from America or Canada, fly to London and take a shuttle back to Cork, Shannon or Belfast in order to avoid a chaotic experience at Dublin. If that is not an option, get a ferry from the UK to Dublin Port. If that doesn’t work, then swim the Irish Sea!

Believe us here, any of the above means of avoiding Dublin, the Calcutta of the aviation world, will be more convenient than arriving or departing the place.

Dublin Airport is trying, unsuccessfully, to handle three times as many passengers as it is designed to take. Designed is, of course, is the wrong word. Nothing to do with Dublin Airport was ever designed, or planned, other than on the back of some wet toilet paper.

We could devote an entire book about the horrors of this kip. It reminds the uninitiated of what a refugee camp must be like. Thousands of people are scrambling through check-in, security, baggage handling etc. etc. There is always an air of disorganized panic in the place.

The arrivals and departure terminals are indistinguishable with frantic outgoing passengers meeting disoriented incoming passengers. The baggage handling carousels are disgorging the contents of two or three planes at once, leading to massive scrums as people fight to get their luggage. Inevitably, the lost luggage section is very busy area – staffed only by one disinterested girl who will threaten security on you if you raise your voice.

We could go on and on but why waste ink or paper. Those who read this and use Dublin Airport will understand. We are preaching to the converted.

For those of you who have never suffered, the advice is – do all you can to avoid it!

4. The prices in Ireland. Nothing can prepare the tourist on vacation in Ireland for the shock that will get when they see the prices of food and drink that, along with many other essential services for tourists, are higher than the famed Magilacuddy Reeks in Kerry.

Ireland is an expensive place to live as a resident, but it seems to us here that when people are on an Ireland vacation, there is an additional tier of profit added to the top line. This manifests itself by the greed of many in the industry who regard any tourist as ripe for easy pickings on the basis that they will never see them again.

It is not alone the small “Mom and Pop’ souvenir shops that are the guilty parties in this instance; the rip-off mentality starts at the top with our state-run companies who are the same organizations that loftily lecture us on giving value for money to the visitors to Ireland.

The DAA will fleece you for parking in any one the Irish airports it claims to run.

Dublin Bus and the Luis light-rail system will extract the maximum it can from your pocket. Unlike any major city in the world, Dublin has no integrated ticketing system where one can buy a ticket for a day or a week that will allow avail of all bus, rail and Luas for a set price. The same applies countrywide, where Bus Eireann and Irish Rail cannot have the presence of mind to get together and offer tourists- not to mention our own commuters- a universal ticket that would make travel in Ireland a little more bearable. Even when the unfortunate visitor eventually coughs up enough to take a train journey, the state of the trains in general is shocking. If you are lucky enough to get a meal on one of these ponderous contraptions, you will never, ever again condemn airline food. In fact, after your experience, airline meals will seem like those served in a Michelin – star restaurant!

If you wish to avoid the nightmare that is public transport in Ireland, you may consider hiring a car. Be prepared for a shock! Car hire rates in Ireland are among the highest in the world. Comparisons made by consumer organizations have found that in certain classes of vehicle, Ireland can be up to six – yes six! - times as expensive as our European neighbours. Excuses lamely produced by the perpetrators of this scam include the old chestnut that insurance and labour costs are higher in Ireland and, of course, they

have no option but to pass these charges onto their customers. Of course, they haven’t, in much the same way, as they have no option but to bank the excessive profits generated in Ireland on the back of this daylight robbery.

Once on the road with your wallet somewhat depleted, you belatedly realize that perhaps the rail option wasn’t so bad after all. The train experience is a bit like being in Purgatory, expecting to get to Heaven when it is over, only to find that you are in Hell when you hit the Irish roads! Satan is laughing at you mockingly as stokes the fires to greater intensity whilst wearing a baseball cap with NTR written on it!

National Toll Roads are a highway bandit company, who in cahoots with the Government, will call every 10- kilometre by-pass a motorway and put a tollbooth on it. So, by the time you transverse the country you have parted company with all your beer budget for the vacation, sat in seemingly endless traffic jams, and are the hapless victim of wacky Irish language road signage system that tells you that Daingean in Offaly has suddenly moved to where Dingle once was in Kerry. Let the sat-nav go figure that one out!

All of the above initial experiences, or nightmares, are delivered to you in the most part by state-controlled organizations.
Now just wait until the private hustlers get their hands on you!
Mom and Pop are waiting, so have a nice day!

HOME TRUTHS ARE UNCOMFORTABLE

One of the most endearing memories of 2007 was the huffing and puffing by Irish politicians and civil servants because of the German ambassador to Ireland, Christian Pauls, making non-diplomatic comments about our lovely little island.

Normally the language of diplomats borders on the total inane, and in order to make a strong point about any subject to a host Government, a tortuous and saccharine-coated form of words is used to soften the blow, whilst at the same time getting the message across.

It was therefore refreshing to hear Mr. Pauls speak plain English to an audience of about 80 German industrialists at a conference in Clontarf Castle. Not alone was the speech in plain English, the content contained many home truths about Ireland.

Mr. Pauls mentioned that he was amazed that 20% of the entire Irish workforce was made up of public servants. There are only four million of us in Ireland. In Germany, with a population of 80 million, 3% of the workforce is required to provide services in the public sector.

He then told the audience that our Junior Ministers, of which there are many, earn as much as the Chancellor of Germany. This is true, and that was before TD’s and ministers have awarded themselves yet another massive pay rise.

He spoke of the appalling health service that we have and of how consultants in the medical service consider 200,000-euro per annum “Mickey Mouse” money. Mr. Pauls was spot on again. This was a comment made to the media by a representative of the consultants association during their spat with Mary Harney for higher salaries.

Mr. Pauls spoke of our unrestrained immigration policy and the potential harm to society it could cause in the years ahead. He clearly stated that he spoke from experience in his own country where such a policy had disastrous effects. Here was a man of consummate knowledge, giving us free advice, and all the Government could respond with was a knee - jerk reaction that he was wrong and it was none of his business. They should thank the man!

He enlightened the delegates even more by telling them of our awful roads, lack of transport infrastructure and general misuse of EU monies poured into Ireland over three decades. He suggested that perhaps these massive handouts were a major factor in the birth of the famous Celtic Tiger. He did acknowledge that the work ethic of the Irish had a big part to play in creating our good fortune, despite media reports to the contrary.

He reserved his most penetrating comment to last when he described the Irish people as being ‘coarse’ and attributed this particular trait to their new-found wealth and prosperity in recent years. In one word, he has summed up the dominant part of the modern Irish psyche. Coarse – meaning vulgar, ostentatious, arrogant, ignorant, self-centred and uncharitable

It really does take somebody standing outside the window looking in to see the complete picture. As much as we may deny the home truths that he illustrated to his German counterparts, Ireland has become an unpleasant society.

How perceptive this representative of the German state is and his honest opinions make our vain posturing in front of the green mirror a rather bad idea

An Ireland Vacation - 10 things that they don't tell you!

We here are never less than honest in our appraisal of any subject relating to Ireland that we write about. This may appear very negative at times but that is only because the subject matter is negative. Where praise is due, we give without trace of inhibition or caveat. There is much to praise about Ireland and its people

This week however we focus on the negative. Perhaps it is the awful January weather that has us in bad form or the doom and gloom economic forecasts for 2008 which, if it all were to happen, will have us begging on the streets of some foreign land and giving our children away.

The greatest industry that we have is not technology or pharmaceuticals. It is not farming or financial services. It is tourism. It contributes more to the economy than any of the above sectors. Last year, 7.8 million people visited this wind and rain swept north Atlantic island of ours. They spent billions on accommodation, food and drink, leisure pursuits and souvenir and gift purchases. Most had a great time, went home, and told their friends all about it. Word of mouth is the greatest marketing tool.

Those who know these things estimate that a positive review of a trip, or any experience for that matter, will be relayed to 14 people who will act on the information. A negative review of the same experience will heard and noted by 87 people.

As the old saying goes in business - it takes twenty years to build a reputation and just one day to lose it. Ireland is no different.

As a country, Ireland has forged an enviable reputation as a great place to visit for the sights, the history, the craic, the pubs and, most importantly, the people. We are perceived as a laid back, easy-going race with a manana attitude, which bemuses most people visiting us. The fact that it is only perception and not reality anymore should concern us deeply. The obvious rebuttal to that point is to indicate the figures for tourists on an Ireland vacation last year. We must be doing something right, you say, and we are in many sectors of the tourism Ireland industry.

However, we are also taking for granted many aspects of our service to the visitor. A large proportion of the visitors to Ireland are from America. Many come looking for their roots and would not dream of visiting us were it not for that. We have the Famine and various economic depressions throughout the nineteenth and twentieth centuries up to the late eighties to thank for that, if that is indeed the appropriate word to use.

Compared to our European peers there is a considerable amount of ground to be made up if we are to keep eight million visitors a year coming to our country on an Ireland vacation. The trick is to get those visitors to come back again or recommend visiting Ireland to somebody they know.

Here are some reasons why they might come once, but never again.

1.Our deplorable behaviour and attitude to litter: We must rank as one of the dirtiest countries in the modern world. Walk through the streets of Dublin and our other towns and cities on a Monday morning (or indeed any morning) and your senses are assailed in every possible way by the smell and the sight of discarded fast food packaging, beer cans and bottles, chewing gum, condoms and pools of vomit. Have we no shame at all? What sort of an impression is that likely to make on a visitor to Ireland? It is not just the druggies and the drunks that litter. Schoolchildren from all strata of society seem to think that is acceptable to drop their disused receptacles at their feet as they walk along. Many adults behave the same way as though there should be a cleaner walking behind them gathering their cast offs. There seems to be an inbuilt hereditary flaw in the Irish psyche that deems it acceptable to litter and not think about the consequences. We need to become organized quickly because in any survey of a visitors experience in Ireland, the dirtiness of the Irish people is always near the top.

2.Crime, drink and drugs: These three vices are put together as one is generally associated with the other. It is not alone the visitor to Ireland that suffers from this behavior, our own citizens do also. We are not a pleasant people when we are encountered with drink and drugs. Granted, the vast majority of our communities are decent and caring. However, the minority causes all the harm and smears the upright citizen with the unacceptable residue of their boorish behavior. It is downright dangerous to walk the main streets of our cities and towns after 9 pm any night of the week. Hordes of menacing youths, high as kites with drugs and drink, terrify innocent pedestrians. Little or no protection is offered by squeamish Gardai who take the easy option by looking the other way and perhaps bravely put a ticket on your for a parking misdemeanor. Stabbings and muggings of tourists are common, a lot more common that we are led to believe. Hotels now advise the unwary visitor of where to go and where to stay. Taxi rides are advised rather than public transport because the risks of attack on this mode of transport are deemed high.

Ireland needs to fight fire with fire in this regard. Arm the police and stop this nonsense of what could be termed as a holistic approach to crime fighting. Two cops with batons are no threat to the gangs of thugs that terrorize our streets. Two cops with guns is a different matter!

These scumbags are cowards who operate based on safety, strength and heightened threat in numbers. They need to be confronted, not by unarmed police who fear for their lives, but by well-armed officers who will make the gurriers fear for their lives. We are all affected by this scourge, not just our tourists.

It is time to take action on behalf of all.

Items 3 and 4 to follow next week

New Year Resolutions

It is the time of the year when we in common with many draw up our New Year resolutions with undiluted sincerity only for most of them to dissolve in no time at all – victims to the capacity of reality to suppress optimism.

So instead, we took a less painful method of self – correction and substituted wishes for resolutions, thereby letting fate control matters and allowing our conscience a brief respite.

Our three wishes are for dear old Ireland and its people, and not just selfish demands for our own personal dreams and desires although the two may indeed merge along the way.

Our first wish is that the Cead Mile Failte, the friendly genuine Irish welcome to visitors for which Ireland used to famous returns because it has gone away, you know. Figures just released from Tourism Ireland indicate that a record 4 million tourists came to these shores last year, despite the Heavens inflicting on the country the worst summer on record. Of this figure, over 1 million were Americans on an Ireland vacation, who are used to the “Have a nice day routine” as part and parcel of their service sector. Sadly in recent years the myth that this island was Ireland of the Welcomes proved to be just that - a myth - to go along with the many myths that Irish folklore presents us with.

In hotels, pubs, restaurants, shops and tourist attractions there seems to an ingrained surliness displayed by staff serving the public. It is almost as though the roles are reversed and that the customer is a nuisance to be ignored, or served with barely a civil word. It doesn’t help that a lot of assistants behind counters are not Irish and may have a poor grasp of English. It is, however, no excuse. They have employers who should instruct them in good manners and monitor their behaviour when serving customers. It is not as though the fault alone lies with our immigrant workers – our homegrown variety are a lot worse and are an example of one of the many undesirable legacies of the Celtic Tiger era.

Our second wish for 2008 is the impossible dream and we will not dwell long on the subject for we at Look Around Ireland are liable to get so worked up about it that we could become an unwitting victim of this beast. We are referring, of course, to the HSE, who purport to run our third world, so called health service. Please, for the love of God, do something to improve the calamitous situation. We are a country of only 4 million people. How difficult can it be to hire the best outsourced health management experts to be appointed with a brief to reform and make efficient this monster over which nobody seems to be able to exert control? Staff numbers in the HSE have risen from 81,000 in 2000 to over 106,000 in 2006 and yet the service gets worse. Bring in a multi-national chief executive familiar with overseeing such numbers of employees, and put him to work, free of political and union encumbrances that seem to stifle the system.

Make at least a start in 2008 – please!

Our third wish is one which applies to anybody who is a commuter/traveler in any shape or form, so therefore it applies to practically everybody – please grant us decent infrastructure so that we can get on with our lives in some sort of ordered fashion.

I think of the motorist, the train and bus commuter, the cyclists, the airline travelers etc. etc who are all victims of the worst infrastructure in the western world. The trains are definitely from the Iron Age as is the attitude and vision of the people running them. Dublin Airport is a well documented disaster. The few kilometers of motorways that we have are car parks with lots of toll booths, and no toilets or service areas. The Dublin Port Tunnel is too low for many of the trucks it was supposedly designed to cater for. The farcical and ultra- costly Luas lines don’t meet. The list goes on and on!

In Ireland it appears to be that the mandarins in power are only possessed of the ability to be reactive instead of proactive. Everything is done as an afterthought. They bolt the stable door in Dublin when the horse has reached Cork. The inadequacies of these people in charge, the grey, faceless public service suits, make life hell for all the people and businesses of this country. Do not underestimate the damage that it is doing to the social and economic fabric of life throughout this land – you only have to be dimly observant to note that family planning is now done on the basis of ones commuter time!

The levels of sheer stress experienced by the Irish commuter, traveler, delivery person, businessperson is a rumbling furnace about to burst! Please get your act together and make it happen, we say to those who are in charge but who deny responsibility.

An outlandish wish, we know!

So there you have my New Year wishes. It would be nice if those in charge treated them as resolutions, but I guess that is just wishing for the impossible.

Have a happy New Year