RAINY DAYS AND NO SAVINGS

Who is laughing now? Not us, for sure. We take no pleasure therefore in saying we told you so. A long time ago. There is point gloating at the condemned man when you are next in line. It is a short-lived and empty pleasure.
For the last fifteen years, we have experienced a boom in Ireland. We all knew it had to end but nobody seems to have told the Government. For the last two years, all those who had a vested interest in a whole range of sectors that stood to lose out if we crashed peddled the mythical soft landing scenario.
A cursory look at the history of global economics would have yielded the information that cycles are boom and bust. An up and down graph that provides no mercy. This is the real world folks, not Disney. Stories of soft landings were suitable tales to get the children asleep at night.
We can spend all day apportioning blame. Best confine it to a couple of paragraphs and then look for a solution or some mitigating event that would help this little island.
The blame lies with Bertie Ahern’s Fianna Fail led Government. You can throw in greedy banks and various financial engineering thugs, but they are simply support acts.
Bertie blew the good times in so many ways. Bending his arse to the unions on a permanent basis was an important factor that cost billions.
Wanton and criminal waste of the river of taxpayer’s money flowing into the coffers from all sectors, especially property, are the real reason why we are in the mess that shows a €3 billion hole in Government budgets.
The Government is the keeper of the Irish family of four million people. In olden days the thrifty Irish mother, the Finance Minister of the family, put the spare shillings away when there was an excess in income. She would not say anything about it, but it would be there come the day that the need arose, as it always would.
Similarly, in modern times, a potato farmer achieving a bumper yield and price this year, will reserve a percentage aside because he knows that for every two good years of returns, he will have one bad one. He prudently predicts the cycle that inevitably will happen and plans for the shortfall.
Bertie Ahern would make a poor-quality housewife and farmer. He is the reason that we have nothing under the mattress for events outside our control. A blight has attacked world economic and finance crops. Not our fault, of course, but we suffer nonetheless.
What to do?
It will be cuts, cuts, cuts, of course. A gold-plated Chubb for the empty stable door.
We agree there has to be cuts. Any business trying to survive a recession will implement cuts in all areas. Workers will lose their jobs. Investment in plant and equipment will be put on hold. Expenses will be hacked in large and small factories and businesses.
The Government is the largest employer and business in Ireland. It employs 310,000 people on inflated salaries and expenses. This figure doubled in the last ten years. The economic boom in Ireland required the increase in public service jobs, the Government told us.
Well the boom is over. Get rid of them! 150,000 extra people on the dole are a huge cost to the Exchequer, will be the cry. Still, a lot cheaper than employing them to do nothing! (Unfortunately, for us, whilst the unions were buggering Bertie, they managed simultaneously to get him to sign a “job for life” clause so the above probably won’t work.)
The next thing to be done is go out and borrow to finish our infrastructure plans. Do not put these on hold. They offer the obvious benefits of what they were designed to do and they keep the construction industry from complete meltdown in the interim. Future generations will thank us in hindsight if we have the balls to do this.
Reform the stamp duty fiasco. Cowen and co are taking any money in from it now. The cash cow has gone dry so what is there to lose by cutting it drastically and maybe kick start the property market.
Then, force the banks to lend money to first time buyers. The arch-villains in the worldwide financial meltdown now shit in their drawers every time a couple come looking for a measly mortgage. Two years ago, a drug user from Nigeria would get 120% from the bank nearest the port he landed. So give them a Pampers adult nappy and let them lend and lend. The nappy can be in the form of a guarantee to the banks that protects a certain amount of their exposure. No different from Mum and Dad being guarantor for their kids first loan. Just go and do it Cowen! Think outside the box for once. These few measures along with hundreds of other creative ideas are needed now to keep the show on the road.
More thrifty ideas next week. Just have to call the mother and my old friend the spud farmer.