LAUREL AND HARDY COUNTRY!

If you have the good fortune to live outside this show they call Ireland, you must be laughing. You should be grateful as well, in between your hysterical shrieking. Those of us living here are not amused.

This week we landed ourselves in another fine mess. Or rather, the banks did by putting on their version of the Laurel and Hardy Show.

We all know that Ireland Inc is a small side street theatre compared to the bigger Broadway productions. Everybody knows everybody who is anybody in this country. Business conducts itself in an incestuous manner really.

This week, Sean Fitzpatrick, chairman and former chief executive of Anglo Irish Bank, was found to have fooled the auditors for the last eight years by under-declaring his director loans from his own bank. At the time of the annual audit, he would simply transfer his loans to Irish Nationwide Building Society and when the auditors had completed their work and presented the accounts, he would merely transfer it back. Some thing like a corner-shop owner camouflaging from the auditors the fact that he eat too many of the Jelly Beans himself by adjusting the stock figures, you might think.

No quite so, I'm afraid.

Our esteemed Anglo banker was in hock to his own bank to the tune of €80million plus, not something you'd want made public. Questions might be asked and that wouldn't reflect well on the gung-ho image of the proactive Anglo-Irish Bank, not to mention the bould Seanie himself. The whole embarrassing show is only beginning as we write.

Sean promptly resigned when the writing was on the wall and his chief executive, David Drumm, followed him.

In the financial industry stretched parameter, the crime was being found out. The action wasn't illegal we were assured. It was unethical, but not illegal.

Shades of Roddy Molloy stating that he was entitled to first-class travel as head FAS. Entitled, no less? Entitled by whom?

Seanie Fitz is the epitome of the image of the financial sector; “we rule the world and we couldn't give a damn about the little people” attitude.

The kings of the grey suit screw all before them. Big swinging dicks will close little businesses by not giving them an overdraft of €5,000 but will lend billions to their buddies in the incestuous world in which they operate.

The Financial Regulator, a supposedly independent monitoring authority, didn't do its job - it knew about Fitzpatrick's scam since January 2008, perhaps it knew it all along for all we know - and told nobody.

The Central Bank is supposed to be wary of this sort of activity and either about it and done nothing - a crime - or didn't know about it should have which is incompetence. Either way, the banks have fooled the people, the Government, their auditors and the regulatory authorities.

It all adds up to a farcical production not quite worthy of playing Broadway (Wall Street has cornered that end of the market) but definitely fit for Las Vegas where gambling with other peoples money is an industry.

Once again, the greedy evil bastards that are bankers have shamed the country and made us look like Laurel and Hardy in the eyes of the world.