Sam Maguire's Rant

Interesting new website

2009-11-07T13:38:00.001Z

www.whoseview.ie recently launched its new social review based website, following a €100,000 investment from an angel investor, plus €20,000 category 1 funding from Enterprise Ireland. The site was quietly opened in mid July with 38,000 local Dublin businesses and has recently rolled out a further 4,000 businesses in Galway city. The site was recently shortlisted in 3 categories at the forthcoming Golden Spider Awards being held on the 19th of November.

In the short period since opening its beta, WhoseView.ie is now achieving 1,500 visits a month, with members posting over 1,000 reviews. The goal is to concentrate on city locations, moving Cork later in 2009, before launching into the UK in 2010. An iphone version of the site is currently in development and available in early December.

With consumer’s now trusting customer recommendations more than any other medium, www.whoseview.ie ultimate goal is to help people make informed decisions through trusted connections. Secondary to this is the facilitation of conversations between consumers and businesses/brands.

www.whoseview.ie was founded by Helen McCarthy and developed in conjunction with Tom Hayes of Lightbox Digital.

Helen McCarthy on the background to Whoseview.ie

“In 2006 I booked my entire honeymoon on sites such as tripadvisor, bypassing all brochures, advertisements and hotel websites. I based my entire itinerary on peoples past experiences and reviews. I was recently surprised when I learned I was just 1 of 25 million people a month who visit tripadvisor. Following this, I just thought why I can’t have this information for my local community for dentist, doctors, beauticians, hairdressers and restaurants.”

On how WhoseView.ie works, Tom said;

“Our site taps into the Irish culture of expressing opinions, be they funny, strong or wildly creative and we have a good community of people who share their personal recommendations with the world and their network of friends, through text, video’s and photo’s.”

Could anybody recommend we ban trade unions and castrate the fools that run them?

Is virtual shopping taking over in Ireland?

2009-10-27T17:03:00.005Z

Are the days of physical shopping reaching an end in Ireland? Will our retail parks turn into bland warehouses from which the stuff you order on the internet is dispatched? Will window shopping literally become just that where you view goods and go home and order them on the net?

Sunday December 6th 2009 is to be Ireland’s ‘Cyber Sunday’ the biggest day for online Christmas shopping. Irish online advertising consultants OnlineAdvertising.ie have been enabling Irish websites to maximise online enquiries and sales for the past 2 years. has been closely monitoring internet shopping market here in Ireland for the past 2 years. Based on recent research, the company forecasts that this year, the first Sunday in December (December 6th) will be Ireland’s busiest online shopping day.

After studying Google trends data from the last 4 years, OnlineAdvertising.ie have found that every year the first Sunday in December is emphatically the most popular day for the shoppers of Ireland to ‘splash the cash’ online. By whipping out the credit card on December 6th, online shoppers are also leaving themselves plenty of time to ensure delivery of their Christmas shopping.

Data has shown however that some are not content with 3 weeks delivery time with the last Sunday in November proving to be the second most popular day for online Christmas shopping.

Alan Coleman, founder and director of OnlineAdvertising.ie says Irish shoppers are getting themselves more informed when it comes to buying online. “According to the search engine Google, Ireland is currently ranked 10th in the world when it comes to shopping online and these shoppers have really done their research before they splurge! 50% of Irish consumers now research their item online before they purchase.”

“This is the case, he added, “not just for internet shopping but even in the case of offline or high-street purchases. This is illustrated by the rise of Christmas gift searches in search engines. From search engine data we can see that consumers start researching Christmas gifts online in late October - this searching then peaks in the week between the 11th and 18th of December.”

Alan went on to remind online traders that time is of the essence. “All this data serves as a stark reminder to online traders to have their sites in order for Christmas asap. Online shoppers will be on the prowl from next week on!”

It is not only the online traders that need to be vigilant, methinks! The high street traders, already battered by the credit crunch, are now being assaulted from cyberspace and there is very little they can do about it.

Online conservatory supplier, Conservatory Ireland, www.conservatoryireland.com has seen a huge increase in enquiries in the last six months at a time when the market is stagnant for such services.

Kitchens Ireland, www.kitchensireland.com reports a similar increase in traffic whilst another leading Irish consumer site, Bathrooms Ireland, www.bathroomsireland.com says it has never been busier despite the awful prevailing economic climate.
It seems to me that Irish people are now staying at home and shopping from there via the internet instead of enduring traffic snarl-ups, car parking fees and the general hassle of actually sourcing items in the traditional manner.

The whole tradition of retailing in under threat in Ireland and elsewhere. It will be interesting to see what Christmas brings.

Online marketing the key to beating the recession

2009-10-26T19:43:00.002Z

Companies large and small can beat the recession by reaching out and connecting with their customers through creative online marketing claim leading international authors.

Damian Ryan and Calvin Jones, co-authors of the internationally acclaimed guide “Understanding Digital Marketing”, are bringing four multi-award winning speakers to Dublin on November 5th. They’ll be speaking at a seminar aimed at helping Irish businesses reap a better return from their marketing investment, reach out to their customers, save money and ultimately boost their bottom line. Hosted in conjunction with the Institute of Creative Advertising & Design (ICAD) as part of Design Week 2009 in association with Bombay Sapphire, the Understanding Digital: CREATIVE event offers Irish businesses the chance to tap the knowledge of leaders in the online marketing field to inform their own strategic marketing decisions.

All over Ireland businesses continue to struggle through the recession. The only way for companies to ride out the storm is to reach out and connect with their customers… do more business, not less. But how do they do that when marketing budgets are practically anorexic? By making sure they squeeze every last morsel of value from each Euro they spend, according to Damian and Calvin.

“Using online marketing creatively is the best way for businesses of all sizes to maximise the return on their marketing investment,” said Calvin. “As their customers migrate online looking for better value, more and more businesses are following them, and are competing for limited customer attention in an increasingly crowded online marketplace. The only way to capture that attention and retain it is to get creative, to stand out from the crowd and do something different.”

But how? That’s the question the authors are looking to answer at the Understanding Digital: CREATIVE seminar. They’re bringing four leading international speakers to the National College of Ireland in Dublin to share their digital creative experience, knowledge and expertise with Irish creatives and business leaders. Nick Suckley of Agenda21, Robin Grant of We are Social, Matt Butterworth of Folk Creative and Dave Birss of Ogilvy London will explore the growth and potential of online communications technology, and focus on how you can harness that potential to reach out to customers and boost your bottom line.

The event; which will appeal to creative advertising, design and marketing professionals as well as those in media, publishing, academia or any business hoping to utilise the power of “digital”; will be followed be a drinks reception.

Students up in arms!

2009-10-26T19:37:00.003Z

More protests on the streets of Dublin this coming week with the students to the fore again.

The Union of Students in Ireland will hold a public demonstration in opposition to Ireland’s third level registration fee.

The demo will be held at 1pm on Tuesday, October 27th outside Dail Eireann.

Ireland’s registration fees have increased by 124% since 2002 and now cost at least €1500.

Fees were abolished so that government would take responsibility for funding Higher Education in this country.

The USI believes that public funding is the fairest and most efficient way to cover the cost of education.

USI President, Peter Mannion, said:

“Claiming that we have free education is a bit of a joke, but paying a registration fee of €1500 upfront is no laughing matter for many students.

Students and their families, many of whom have been hit by the current recession, are struggling to pay this fee and some are being forced to drop out of college as a direct result of it.

We are calling on the Government to ensure that this fee is not raised further in the upcoming budget. Doing so would be detrimental to the future of thousands of students who cannot afford to pay this ‘entrance fee’.”

USI Eastern Area Officer, Chris Bond, said:

“Ireland purports to have no third level tuition fees.

The registration fee was brought in to cover the cost of student services, but instead over €600 of the fee goes towards tuition costs.

This is in stark contrast to fees in Germany, where students are charged tuition fees of €1000 per year.

Meanwhile, Austria charges tuition fees of just €726 per year, Luxembourg charges €200 per year, Portugal €500 per year and Belgium charges €800 per year.”

We said it before here that unfortunately we are going to have to get used to this with the mess the economy is in.
€1500 is not unreasonable money for college education. It is however the quality of the education I would worry about.

Silence

2009-10-25T17:30:00.004Z

The revealing and disgusting news about the wanton waste of money by the elected officials of Ireland reminds me of a poem called "Silence". When nobody shouts stop,this is what happens.

SILENCE

A bolt of lightening streaks
Across the midnight sky
Crashing thunder volleys
Induce a child’s plaintive cry
Maternal hand will gently calm
She knows the greatest fear
Is not the transparent entity
You can see and hear

Far greater be the threat
That postures as benign silence
Suffocating the fragile truth
That balances on the fence
When will you be able to tell me
What separates right from wrong?
And why is it that silence
Is always louder than the song

Goodness can only dream
And always be a silken ghost
Floating at the very periphery
Of the party that silence hosts
For evil will gladly propagate
And honour will quietly acquiesce
When silence dons its cloak
And timid men won’t confess

Silence is at its loudest pitch
When the humble are meek
And stillness is overwhelming
When the truth they seek
Foster not upon ourselves
Notions of pedantic ambivalence
For nothing crushes good so much
As the approval that is silence

NEW GAMEKEEPER APPOINTED AT CENTRAL BANK !

2009-10-22T18:30:00.003+01:00

Under growing international and local pressure, the Irish Central Bank is trying to clean up its act.

Matthew Elderfield has been appointed as Head of Financial Supervision in the new Central Bank of Ireland. Mr. Elderfield, currently the Chief Executive Officer of the Bermuda Monetary Authority (BMA), will be responsible for all regulatory activities in the Central Bank.
The appointment has been welcomed by the Minister for Finance, who earlier this year announced that the Government intends to bring forward legislation to establish a single fully integrated regulatory institution within the Central Bank of Ireland.
And so well he might! After years of turning a blind eye to the nefarious activities of the Irish banks, let us hope that this guy will kick ass and make the banks conform to some sort of rules.
Announcing the appointment, Central Bank Governor, Patrick Honohan said: “I am delighted to welcome Matthew Elderfield to the Central Bank. He has very extensive experience of financial supervision and he has the qualities that are ideally suited to this very challenging role. We look forward to working with him as we re-shape the financial regulatory system in Ireland.”
That says it all, doesn’t it? In effect, he is admitting that the Central Bank was not doing its job before now. Well, we all knew that anyway!
Governor Honohan thanked Mary O’Dea who has been Acting Chief Executive of the Financial Regulator since February of this year. “Mary has brought the Financial Regulator through a very difficult time and has introduced significant changes to supervision which will be built on in the coming period.”
In other words Mary, has sat on her arse for years and done nothing and is now busily engaged in putting Chubb locks on the stables doors whilst the horses have long bolted.
Jim Farrell, Chairman of the Financial Regulator, said: “I very much welcome the appointment of Matthew Elderfield and wish him all the very best in his new role. In doing so I would also like to thank Mary O’Dea for the invaluable role she has played over recent months, a period of unprecedented challenge.”
For “unprecedented challenge” read: “in deep shit and getting deeper”
Matthew Elderfield has been Chief Executive of the BMA since July 2007. The BMA is the integrated regulator of the financial services sector in Bermuda and supervises all segments of the Bermuda financial markets. Prior to joining the BMA, Mr Elderfield spent eight years at the UK Financial Services Authority (FSA) as a Head of Department in a variety of posts, responsible for exchange and clearing house supervision, for secondary markets and listing policy and for banking supervision. In this latter role, he represented the FSA on the Basel Accord Implementation Group and chaired the FSA panel responsible for economic capital model review.
Well at least he knows the scams that some of our banks were up to if he has experience in Bermuda. I wonder will he spot €7 billion moved from one crooked bank to another at reporting time. The other fools did not, or more likely, did not want to see it for fear of upsetting the applecart!
Before joining the FSA, Mr Elderfield established the European operations of the International Swaps and Derivatives Association (ISDA) and held posts at the London Investment Banking Association, the British Bankers Association and a Washington, DC based consultancy firm, the Institute for Strategy Development.
Mr Elderfield graduated from Cambridge University in 1988 with a Masters degree in International Relations, and earned a Bachelor’s degree in Foreign Service, cum laude, from the School of Foreign Service, Georgetown University in 1987.
Speaking about his appointment to the Central Bank, Mr Elderfield said: "I am very much looking forward to joining the Central Bank and to working with my new colleagues and our stakeholders on the challenges facing the financial regulatory system in Ireland."
Mr. Elderfield will take up his new position in January 2010.
www.financialireland.com, a leading Irish financial commentary website welcomed the news. www.currencyireland.com, another online financial information site welcomed the appointment with the caveat that it would "wait and see the improvement in regulation first"

Mr. Elderfield will take up his new position in January 2010.

We surely do look forward to it!

2010 Hospitality and Food Awards - makes you want to go now!

2009-10-22T11:44:00.005+01:00

The cream of the hospitality world gathered at Bord Bia in Dublin last week, for the announcement of the 2010 Georgina Campbell Awards, associated with the respected Georgina Campbell’s Ireland independent hospitality guides.

Unlike most other award schemes, the Georgina Campbell Awards are completely independent, and in no way affiliated with trade associations or marketing groups; it is this independence which has earned them special respect in the industry, and public trust. The event was anticipated even more keenly than usual in this annus horribilis for the hospitality sector, as accolades from a respected independent guide are not only a source of encouragement, but very good for business too.

Every year Georgina Campbell and her team of experienced assessors comb the country’s hotels, country houses, guesthouses, restaurants, pubs and cafés, seeking out the best consumer experiences for readers of The Guide The Guide is now published biennially (this is the first year without a printed ‘glovebox bible’ Ireland guide since the company’s inception in 1998); but, said Ms Campbell, “We have maintained our rigorous programme of anonymous assessment visits throughout the season as usual and we keep a sharp eye out for those exceptional establishments which are right on top of their game and going the extra mile for customers.”

Top award winners on the day included: The BrookLodge & Wells Spa (Hotel of the Year); Campagne, Kilkenny (Restaurant of the Year); Eamonn O’Reilly, One Pico, Dublin (Chef of the Year); The Ballymore Inn, Ballymore Eustace, Co Kildare (Pub of the Year); and Nick’s Warehouse, Belfast (Outstanding Contribution Award).

Commenting on this year’s winners, Georgina said; “Excellence is always the object of our search, of course, but we also look for a particularly keen response to (or, better still, anticipation of) the particular demands of each year. No prizes for guessing what we’ve been looking for this season – a determination to keep standards up, while prices fall. There is cause for concern in that standards in Irish hospitality generally are visibly slipping, but our award winners are made of stern stuff, and absolutely dedicated to providing the very best for their customers.”

Sponsors on the day included: Bord Bia, BIM, Fáilte Ireland,Blue Dragon/Patak’s and Waterways Ireland.

Award Winners Citations:

OUTSTANDING CONTRIBUTION AWARD 2010
Nick’s Warehouse, Belfast
A new award, in recognition of the special contribution made by exceptional individuals in Irish hospitality.
It’s hard to believe that Nick and Kathy Price are celebrating 20 years in business this year, it’s all so fresh still – and yet the changes since then have been immense, in Northern Ireland generally, and also in their particular area of Belfast. The restaurant was originally a whiskey warehouse (built for Bushmills Whiskey in 1832), and when they opened here over 150 years later they were very much the culinary pioneers in this now popular area of the city – their staying power and longterm success is not only a great credit to them, but has been an inspiration to countless others. This was Belfast’s first wine bar and, while the layout has changed little and the philosophy not at all, wine is an even more important element of the mix these days than it originally was, as they now have their own wine business. The style is lively and contemporary, with menus depending on the fresh produce available from a network of trusted suppliers and often including unusual local items, and game in season – and consistency is a key feature (head chef Sean Craig has been at Nick’s since 1996). Nick Price does a lot for the food scene in Belfast, including being generous with his time; he supports numerous food initiatives, and is Chairman of the Taste of Ulster group. There’s a sense of fun about this place (“Why not try one of our ‘Seductive Money Saving Offers’ pudding and a glass of dessert wine or cheese with port”) so it’s no wonder that Nick’s has a loyal clientèle who love the good food, attentive, friendly service and the buzz. To celebrate the completion of their second successful decade in business, their first cookbook is due in December – and, like Nick’s sister, Sue Farmer of The Bay Tree in Holywood, Nick and Kathy are publishing it themselves. We look forward to it – and, perhaps, to a follow-up volume in 10 years time!

HOTEL OF THE YEAR 2010:
The BrookLodge & Wells Spa, Macreddin, Co Wicklow
Numerous strands make up this complex operation – but, as you sense from the bright helpful staff and an atmosphere of care about the place, this very special hotel is more than the sum of its parts. Thanks to the vision of three brothers, Evan, Eoin and Bernard Doyle, a new “village” now exists on the site of a deserted one in a Wicklow valley - and they have devised many reasons for people to go there, including a Paul McGinley golf course and an equestrian centre amongst the many outdoor activities, and a Resort Spa. Weddings and events are key to its success, but kept completely separate from the main hotel, where there is a relaxed country house feel and a choice of dining in Ireland’s only certified organic restaurant, The Strawberry Tree, in atmospheric La Taverna Armento (there’s a whole story attached to that restaurant too, and its close links with a village in Italy) or, in theconvincingly old-world Actons pub on their little ‘street’ - anyone who remembers Evan’s original Strawberry Tree bar & restaurant in Killarney will recognise the skill at work here. A former winner of the Guide’s Natural Food Award (in association with Euro-Toques, in 2003), BrookLodge has earned national recognition for its strong position on organic food - and their organic food markets are legendary. Having worked hard to maintain high standards stay in the frame during this difficult year, it’s a great tribute to the Doyle brothers and their team that so many people still think it’s a good idea to head down to Wicklow for a break these days: they are to be heartily congratulated.

RESTAURANT OF THE YEAR 2010:
Campagne, Kilkenny, Co Kilkenny
The capital’s leading restaurants tend to hog the spotlight at awards and, while the size of the population means more top rank restaurants to choose from, excellence is no respecter of location. Former winners of our highest restaurant accolade have included exceptional out-of-town establishments like The Tannery, Dungarvan (2004), Casino House in West Cork (2005) and MacNean House & Bistro (2007).
When Garrett Byrne, former head chef at Dublin’s celebrated Chapter One, returned home to Kilkenny and opened his own restaurant with his partner and restaurant manager, Brid Hannon, it was obvious that something exciting was about to happen in the Marble City. And indeed it has. The restaurant itself – in a new build, tucked away beside the old arches of the disused Kilkenny/Portlaoise railway line – is testament to their confidence and good taste: no expense has been spared to ensure a quality setting for Garrett’s cooking, but it’s a bling-free zone, with low key yet atmospheric decor (dominated by a series of brilliant paintings depicting rural life, by Kilkenny artist Catherine Barron), and great attention to the comfort of diners. Simply laid white-clothed tables and discreet service set the tone for an experience focused on Garrett’s superb food. No fancy big plates, no extravagant flowers, nothing at all showy - just exceptional attention to detail (gorgeous sourdough bread, for example), well-judged flavour combinations and perfect French-inspired modern cooking. Add anticipatory, charmingly informed service under Brid’s direction, a wine list tailored to match the food, and a quiet air of confidence. Result: result an exceptional dining experience, and worthy recipient of the title Restaurant of the Year.

CHEF OF THE YEAR 2010:
Eamonn O’Reilly, One Pico, Dublin.
One of the most coveted of all our awards, the title Chef of the Year has previously gone to some very distinguished heroes – and some unsung heroes - of the Irish food scene including Kevin Thornton (Thornton’s Dublin, 1999); Moira Tighe (Cromleach Lodge, Co Sligo, 2000); Michael Deane (Deane’s Belfast; 2001); Maura Foley (Packies’s Kenmare, 2003) and, more recently, Stefan Matz (Ashford Castle (2007); Paul Flynn (The Tannery, Dungarvan, 2008); and Richard Corrigan (Bentley’s Dublin, 2009). This year’s winner has earned a special place among these hallowed names.
If asked to single out just one person in the hospitality world who not only anticipated the downturn (as it was called last year) well ahead of everyone else, but also acted promptly to ensure a future for his business, together with exceptional value and quality for cash-strapped customers, it would be Eamonn O’Reilly. One of Dublin’s finest chefs (we have followed his career with interest since the early days in Camden Street), his style is basically classical French with an occasional nod to Irish traditions. He is known and, rightly, admired for sophisticated, technically demanding dishes that are invariably executed with confidence and flair - he cooks with first class ingredients, turning them into classic dishes with lovely clean flavours, yet with his own unique stamp on each dish. Also the owner of Bleu Café Bistro on Dawson Street, he moves between the two kitchens and it’s greatly to his credit that – as recent experience has confirmed - the cooking never waivers, whether or not he is present. A true professional, we take off our toques to him.

PUB OF THE YEAR 2010:
The Ballymore Inn, Ballymore Eustace, Co Kildare
Is it a pub? Or is it a restaurant? Much as the term ‘gastropub’ jars the nerves, it must be admitted that it just about sums this place up – you could certainly drop in here for a coffee, or a drink in the Back Bar (their wine list is excellent), but the first thing that comes to mind when you think about Barry and Georgina O’Sullivans country pub, The Ballymore Inn, is food. Or, to be more precise, the particular food they have made their trademark – based on tiptop ingredients (sources are proudly credited on menus) and simply stylish, without any of the cheffy complications that spoil many a good meal these days, the cooking at The Ballymore Inn is outstanding for its freshness, flavour and value for money. Georgina – well known to the public from her former advisory role at Bord Bia – is interested in food trends and this brings a contemporary note and frequent menu changes, but the basics (28 day dry-aged steaks from West Cork, for example) are constant. Appealing menus and imaginative, carefully selected, drinks lists are both designed to be accessible in straitened times, but no short cuts are allowed – this, together with skilful cooking, and great hospitality from Barry and Georgina and their well-trained team, are the reasons for choosing The Ballymore Inn as our Pub of the Year.

‘JUST ASK’ RESTAURANT OF THE YEAR 2010; sponsored by Bord Bia:
Rathmullan House, Rathmullan, Co Donegal
“Just Ask!” is a public awareness campaign that aims to encourage consumers when eating out to look for information on where the food (particularly meat) on their plate comes from, and encourages chefs to provide this information on their menus. The programme supports both large and smaller artisan suppliers, encouraging both Irish diners and visitors from abroad to support restaurants that are in turn supporting their suppliers.
Good local food has always been central to the experience at this gracious nineteenth century house set in lovely gardens on the shores of Lough Swilly, in Co Donegal, run by William and Mark Wheeler, and their wives Yvonne and Mary. William and Mark’s parents Robin and Bob established an early reputation for the quality of their table, and the outstanding breakfast buffet alone was always worth travelling for; Bob still makes the marmalade in winter, and also batches of jam through the summer as fruits come into season. And, thanks to the commitment of an exceptionally dedicated team, the food has never been better than now: head chef Ian Orr is a Derry man who returned from The River Café to work at Rathmullan, and his meticulously-sourced menus are based on the very best of local and artisan foods. Working closely with organic gardener, Dennis Hawke, Ian makes best use of fresh produce from their beautiful and highly productive restored walled garden, in combination with carefully selected ingredients from the immediate area and beyond, much of it wild, free range, artisan and /or organic – and all documented throughout each menu for the information and interest of customers. Of particular note is the Children’s Menu - a proper little person’s version of the adult menu, with lots of choices and no concessions to ‘popular’ fare, this is education on a plate.
The invitation to ‘Just Ask’ is genuine here – they just love talking about good food.

SEAFOOD CIRCLE RESTAURANT OF THE YEAR 2010; sponsored by Bord Iascaigh Mhara:
Aherne’s Seafood Restaurant, Youghal, Co Cork
The BIM Seafood Circle is a programme highlighting the best places to buy fresh fish, and to dine out on seafood. The hospitality element endorses good seafood restaurants offering a high proportion of indigenous Irish seafood with a bias towards seasonal local fish and shellfish. A second element of the programme focuses on retail outlets (see www.bim.ie for details).
The FitzGibbon family’s renowned East Cork bar and restaurant with accommodation is a big magnet for seafood lovers and they are previous winners of the Seafood Bar of the Year Award. However, while many casual diners are happy to drop in for a bite of their excellent bar food, the restaurant has come into special focus this year. Following a revamp, the elegant restaurant has emerged with a calm, sophisticated and romantic atmosphere – and David FitzGibbon’s cooking is right on form. Outstandingly good breads set the standard from the outset and are brilliant with local Yawl Bay smoked salmon – and, although there are other choices (roast lamb, fillet steak), it’s for the ultra-fresh seafood that comes straight from the fishing boats in Youghal harbour that Aherne’s is rightly known, and it’s pointless to resist. A wide range is offered, including treats like hot buttered lobster, and their famous Hot Seafood Selection with two sauces; but also, more frequently these days, David is offering whole fish cooked on the bone: classic sole on the bone, of course, but also others - a dramatic whole seabass, perhaps, complete with head and curling tail. Perfectly cooked fish and classic saucing are the hallmarks – but servings are impressively generous too, a point which won’t go unnoticed in these budget-conscious times. Lovely service, a good wine list and and good classic desserts too – and, for overnight guests, an excellent breakfast to round off the stay.

SEAFOOD CIRCLE BAR OF THE YEAR 2010; sponsored by Bord Iascaigh Mhara:
Kealys Seafood Bar, Greencastle, Co Donegal;
Kealys Seafood Bar is right on the harbour at the Donegal fishing port of Greencastle – perfectly positioned for people travelling on the ferry between Greencastle and Magilligan Point in Northern Ireland. It’s a friendly, low-key little place where simplicity has always been valued and, even if it’s just to pop in for a daytime bowl of Tricia Kealy’s Greencastle chowder and some home-baked brown bread or ‘James’s baby brown scones’, fans will never miss the opportunity of a visit to Kealys - if we did an award for seafood chowder, Kealys would take the prize! Like her late husband James, who cooked here for many years, Tricia’s approach to seafood is creative and balanced, seen in dishes, which are modern in tone but also echo traditional Irish themes, and in which delicious local organic vegetables are used with fish to make the most of both precious resources. Breads are a speciality - perfect partners for Irish farmhouse cheeses, as well as the famous chowder. Simple, and delicious.

THE “IRISH EXPERIENCE” B&B 2010 sponsored by Fáilte Ireland
Glasha Farmhouse, Ballymacarbry, Co Waterford
The rush of new hotels offering low cost breaks in recent years had the effect of putting pressure on the traditional B&B – but, as Failte Ireland recognise, a good B&B can offer guests a truly Irish Experience like no other, with great hospitality, good wholesome food and loads of local knowledge.
Paddy and Olive O’Gorman’s spacious farmhouse high up in the hills in West Waterford is just the kind of place that visitors dream of finding when they come to Ireland - and for townies too, it makes the perfect relaxed rural break. There’s loads to do out of doors - walking is a major attraction, for example, as Glasha links the Comeragh and Knockmealdown sections of the Munster Way; and also fishing, as the River Nire runs beside the farmhouse; painting this beautiful area is a popular pastime; and both pony trekking and golf are available locally. Bedrooms are very luxurious for a farm stay and Olive thinks of everything that will help guests feel at home (including plenty of comfortable lounging room for guest, a conservatory and garden). Olive makes delicious home-cooked dinners for guests if required and, by a happy chance, the nearest pub is just 3 minutes’ walk from the house. A good breakfast will see you on your way – with guidance a-plenty on what to do and where to find it. This is a lovely place to stay, and a perfect antidote to the stresses of urban life – the ‘Irish Experience’ B&B personified.

IRISH BREAKFAST AWARDS [GROUP of AWARDS]
Breakfast is the last meal guests will have before leaving any place where they have stayed the night, and the memory will linger.It’s an area that can be - and often is - a USP: the extra care that certain establishments take with breakfasts is earning them a loyal following. And not just for the breakfast itself, but because the spirit of generosity and true hospitality, that giving so much more than the basic requirement implies, is carried through into all other aspects of these special places. Put simply: breakfast ‘talks’.

NATIONAL BREAKFAST AWARD WINNER 2010:
Park Hotel Kenmare Co Kerry
Nobody understands the importance of attention to detail better than the Brennan brothers, stars of RTE’s quirky ‘hospitality hospital’ programme, ‘At Your Service’. Legendary in the hospitality world for the exceptionally high standards that they not so much insist on as nurture at Park Hotel Kenmare, the Brennans have faced the same challenging conditions as everyone else this year and they have had to work creatively to attract business. Prices have tumbled – from the consumer angle I have to admit we were more relaxed, and enjoyed our stay (and departure) more than usual this year, as the bill was considerably lower – but standards have not. Economies have had to be made of course, but not in any way that would adversely affect the guest experience. There is perhaps less choice on the dinner menu, but the quality of both food and service is outstanding. John mentioned the cost of soap wastage, saying they’ve reduced the size from 50g to 25g, but that’s unlikely to have sparked complaints. And they certainly haven’t gone the way of so many hotels and cut corners on breakfast, which remains the same, exceptionally satisfying way to start the day as it ever was: superb food, excellent service and well-judged timing so it doesn’t take up the entire morning. Let’s hope the topic comes up at one of their ‘At Your Service’ ‘guinea pig’ hotels – there are plenty out there who would do well to listen.
Category winners:
B&B Breakfast: Beech Hill House, Holywood, Co Down
Victoria Brann’s experience in catering means she could whip up a marvellous meal with one hand tied behind her back- and makes her a very relaxed and engaging breakfast host. She treats guests to a generous selection of fresh fruits and juices, local Clandeboye yogurt and other good things from the buffet and, while you’re wading through this cornucopia of good things and playing with all the intriguing pots ands jars on her lazy susan, rustles up hot dishes of your choice – often including fresh fish.
Country House Breakfast: Gregans Castle, Ballyvaughan, Co Clare
Allow time to enjoy an excellent breakfast when staying at Gregans Castle - a delicious buffet is set up with fresh juices and fruits, organic cereals, freshly baked bread, home-made preserves and local produce including Burren Smokehouse organic smoked salmon, Burren Gold organic cheese and Limerick ham; the menu of hot dishes reads very simply - but the secret is in the quality ingredients, which sing with flavour.

Hotel Breakfast: Park Hotel Kenmare, Co Kerry
In line with the excellence which prevails throughout the hotel, the outstanding breakfasts served at the Park start the day in style – table service is superbly professional (methodical, prompt and pleasant) and everything offered is perfect of its type. Hot dishes include less usual items (lovely kippers, served with tomatoes, mushrooms and parsley, for example, and kidneys served with bacon and pearl onions), and homemade preserves accompany the freshly baked breads and hot toast; but the point is that everything is delicious, perfectly timed, and – with details like crisp linen napkins to enhance the experience – there’s a real sense of occasion for breakfast at The Park.

NATURAL FOOD AWARD 2010:
Good Things Café, Durrus, Co Cork
This award recognises an indivdual or establishment demonstrating a total commitment to using the very best of fresh, seasonal and mainly local foods – and preparing them simply and with style, to showcase their natural goodness and the quality produce of the locality.
Great ingredients-led contemporary cooking is the magnet that draws those in the know to Carmel Somers’ simple little café-restaurant just outside Durrus village. Chef, teacher and food writer (her first book, “Eat Good Things Every Day”, is due shortly), Carmel does more than any other chef in the region to promote local produce and her menus reflect this in a variety of ways. The summer herbs and salads, growing in beds at the entrance, are an indication of things to come, as is the array of cookbooks by the likes of Elizabeth David and Jane Grigson. The message is unequivocal: prepare yourself for spanking fresh ingredients cooked with authority and passion. The modern, functional, café-restaurant features dishes with a strong local provenance such as West Cork Fish Soup and old-fashioned Porter Cake alongside the Grecian influences of a Mezze Plate and fragrantly spiced Andalusian Monkfish with saffron, honey and vinegar. Seasonality is a byword here: roasted summer vegetables, sea beet, lightly boiled, Kilcrohane new potatoes, the tartness of gooseberries with mackerel and the same fruit in a dessert compôte with elderflowers, yoghurt and honey ice. In the kitchen, partly visible to diners, Carmel and her Spanish assistant, Rebecca, conjure (experiment is constant) and come up with menus that are, at once, startling and reassuring. It’s the kind of place where even the most demanding know they are in safe hands. In the off-season, Good Things Café & Cookery School conducts courses: a series of demonstration and hands-on courses. A wonderful place.

CASUAL DINING AWARD 2010
The Sheelin Tea Shop, Bellanaleck, Co Fermanagh
This is a new award, taking in the very best among the kind of informal, accessibly priced restaurants people drop into without booking; it could include café bars etc, and most are all day operations, but the main aim is to seek out good simple cooking based on quality ingredients - and especially the home baking that can be the highlight of a day out.
Northern Ireland is renowned for the quality and range of its home baking, and Julie Snoddy’s picturesque tea shop at the Sheelin Lace Shop and Museum in Bellanaleck fits the bill perfectly. Julie has built up a reputation for superb baking here – her speciality scones are especially popular with morning coffee, and there is always an array of baked goodies on display - honeymoon bites, paradise squares, yum yums, mile-high lemon meringue pie, peach & raspberry frangipane tart, chocolate gateaux; and how nice to see an old-fashioned Victoria sandwich cake, filled with jam and butter cream… And, apart from the magnificent teashop operation, there are daily lunches (daily blackboard menu), weekend brunch (with papers to read), Sunday Lunch - and a Friday Night Dessert Bar, which is extended to include light savoury meals – and BYO wine. It’s just the kind of place that visitors hope to find when out and about - and, with the Lace Museum in the same premises, it makes an interesting destination for an outing – and is very popular with the lucky locals too.

TASTE OF THE WATERWAYS AWARD 2010: sponsored by Waterways Ireland
Café Merlot at Blakes of the Hollow, Enniskillen, Co Fermanagh;
The Taste of the Waterways Award was introduced last year and it brings a new element to the selection, highlighting lovely and less-known watery parts of Ireland that are a joy to explore – and many pubs and restaurants of great character.
One of the great classic pubs of Ireland, Blakes has been in the same family since 1887 and is a natural first port of call for many visitors to Enniskillen. The original Victorian front bar still remains untouched after over 120 years, but relatively recent changes elsewhere in this historic establishment have made it a popular food destination, thanks to the talents of two personalities well known in the hospitality of the area, head chef Gerry Russell and front-of-house manager/wine man Johnny Donnelly. Right at the top of the house, there is an elegantly-appointed fine dining restaurant, Number 6, which is open for Wine & Food evenings (always a sell out) and weekends, if there is demand, but it is the atmospheric vaulted Café Merlot downstairs which is so popular, not least at lunchtime and for their pre-theatre menu, which is especially good value. As a team, Gerry Russell and Johnny Donnelly present creative modern cooking, a relaxed dining atmosphere, a great wine list and knowledgeable service; they also operate the newer café/deli/wine shop Russell & Donnelley, just along the street. All round, a great place to know about – congratulations are in order.

HOST OF THE YEAR 2010:
Kay McEvilly, Cashel House Hotel, Connemara, Co Galway
A natural talent for hospitality is the ace that Irish people keep up their sleeve – time and again visitor surveys confirm that, along with the landscape, it is mainly the warmth and engagement of the people that will keep them coming back. Many very special people have been recipients of this key award – one extraordinary lady was Vi McDowell, or ‘Auntie Vi’, of Gray’s Guesthouse on Achill Island, who died earlier this year at the age of 99 and I’d like to pay tribute to her; she was a great trooper who took pride in overseeing her business and actively promoted Achill right to the end – when she received the award in 2005 we thought she was 85 but we were actually 10 years out!
This year’s Host is a mere pup by comparison, but she is equally loved and respected, both by guests and within the industry. General and Madame de Gaulle’s visit to Ireland in 1968 is often credited with putting the Gallic seal of approval on Irish hospitality and food, and I sometimes reflect on the fortunate choice made by the great man when planning his Irish holiday – not only did they find the wild beauty of Connemara awaiting them, but also the exceptionally warm and relaxed hospitality of hosts, Kay and the late Dermot McEvilly: Kay is a caring and exceptionally perceptive host, knowing instinctively just when to make a contribution and when to hold back and give guests space. I recall a particular incident in the restaurant one evening that illustrated her talent for setting people at their ease, when a young couple – who, perhaps, had received a break as a gift or won a competition – seemed very ill at ease in the formal setting; going over to them and quietly chatting, Kay soon sussed the situation and seamlessly eased them through into the bar where they could enjoy their meal in relaxed surroundings. Most recently she has thrown herself into the short residential Cashel House Garden Courses, so her hospitality is now extended to many fellow gardening enthusiasts as well as hotel guests – a delightful person, for whom nothing is ever too much trouble.

BUSINESS HOTEL OF THE YEAR 2010:
Fitzwilliam Hotel, Dublin
Other hospitality guides tend to focus exclusively on leisure travel, but many of those using our Guide and website (and joining our quality-led dining and breaks initiative, The G Club) are business visitors – or potential business hosts – and we recognise the importance and special requirements of the business guest. The number of hotels with excellent business and conference facilities has increased dramatically (which bodes well for Ireland longterm), and competition in this sector has become seriously hot; many are very large venues – but smaller establishments can have a special niche appeal which is sometimes more appropriate .
Although perhaps more often seen as a leisure destination (the city’s prime shopping area is, after all, on the doorstep), this stylish contemporary hotel on the west side of St. Stephen’s Green is no stranger to business guests. In fact, should you have a meeting arranged with one of the companies based nearby, you may well find that it is redirected to The Fitzwilliam Hotel, which seems to be regarded as a sort of extension office by some executives. You won’t get a more central or convenient business base than here and not only is the bar one of the city’s handiest meeting places but, with an on-site choice between the smart Citron Brasserie for informal dining, and one of the city’s finest restaurants, Thornton’s, when nothing but the best will do for business guests, the hotel offers all that is required to make the right impression for business entertaining. By contrast with big conference hotels, the scale is pleasingly intimate, with three stylish and state-of-the-art meeting rooms available for up to 80 delegates, an emphasis on service and on-site parking; accommodation is discreetly luxurious and residents will find not just 24 hour room service but also that the gym is open around the clock. Women travelling on business will especially value the in-house hair & beauty salon. And, not only is this chic hotel known for understated luxury and discreet service, but it has a great hidden asset - Ireland’s largest roof garden.

WINE AWARD OF THE YEAR 2010:
Ballymaloe House, Shanagarry, Co Cork
Irish interest in wine has grown phenomenally in recent years – how many people saw a glass of wine as the natural accompaniment to a meal even a couple of decades ago? Our wine award has reflected that developing interest, highlighting the diversity of the wine experience and celebrating some of the finest lists and most passionate people in the world of wine.
For several years establishments recommended by the Guide have been invited to submit wine lists for competition and there has been a great response, ranging from the very grand to relatively simple lists; many of them are very interesting - including some short very but carefully chosen lists that match menus in smaller restaurants particularly well. At the moment there is one overall award and, when times improv,e we plan to expand the Wine Award to allow for different categories.
Last year’s Wine Award went to a young establishment and its brilliantly wine-focused creator - this year, by contrast, we have a wine cellar and list that has built up gradually over 45 years and developed into a holistic wine experience. It all began with the late Ivan Allen, when he and Mrs Myrtle Allen opened Ballymaloe in 1964 (a year marked on the current wine list by Chateau Canon 1964); since then a number of equally dedicated and knowledgeable people have developed the wine offering and – in tune with the educational philosophy of Ballymaloe as a whole – wine events are now held on an almost weekly basis throughout the year, including visits by many guest experts such as the enormously popular twice-yearly intensive wine weekends with wine writer Mary Dowey – to be held next time in Ballymaloe’s beautiful new music venue, The Grainstore. Current Sommelier, Colm McCan (described off-the-record by a colleague as ‘simply mad about wine’) revels in the job and has overseen development of the ’new’ wine cellar, which is in the ancient rock foundation of the old castle and not only naturally temperature controlled, but atmospheric with it; lined with new wine storage bins made from Ballymaloe beechwood by Sacha Whelan, it is effectively spotlit and well worth a visit. (They also have a bank of practical Eurocave temperature controlled wine cabinets for dining room service.) The list itself remains a work in progress and, with at least ten ‘house recommendations’ plus many other more specialised choices by the glass, an accessible one at that. An experience to be savoured.#

ETHNIC RESTAURANT OF THE YEAR 2010: sponsored by Blue Dragon & Patak’s
Kajjal, Malahide, Co Dublin
The range of cuisines authentically represented in Irish restaurants is continually developing and, overall, ethnic restaurants have changed very much for the better in recent years. The greatest strides have been made in the better known cuisines, however – Chinese, to some extent, but especially perhaps, Pakistani and Indian, which now offer not only good food but also – at the top of the market - a fine dining option which is widely recognised.
Kajjal is a sister restaurant of one of our previous award winners, the highly-regarded Kinara Indian/Pakistani restaurant on Clontarf’s seafront, and it offers the same qualities of style, delicious food and friendly, attentive staff – a winning combination, particularly when teamed with an especially atmospheric setting. Billed as ‘Pakistani and Eastern cuisine’, it offers an exciting mix of regional cooking, accompanied by a few Indian staples. Attention to detail is excellent: fresh poppadoms come with delicious home-made dips; Irish produce is used in, for example, meltingly tender lamb dishes; expert spicing and attractive presentation make every dish a success. Even desserts (that so often let ethnic restaurants down) are good, the wine list is interesting and service is invariably attentive and efficient. Savvy northside foodies loved this restaurant from the day it opened – now it’s time to share.

ATMOSPHERIC RESTAURANT OF THE YEAR 2010:
Sha Roe Bistro, Clonegal, Co Carlow
This is a very special award, because it invariably goes to an establishment that is really outstanding in every way – and has that special extra ‘something’ that makes a great atmosphere to showcase the whole operation, so that every visit is sure to be memorable. It’s often partly down to the building itself, or the way it has been converted or decorated, and that’s certainly the case this year, as it is a charming setting – but it would be nothing without the people who have dedicated themselves to creating a really fine restaurant.
Chef Henry Stone, and his partner Stephanie Barrillier’s delightful little restaurant is in a fine 18th century building in Clonegal, a pretty and well-preserved village on the borders of Wexford, Carlow and Wicklow, away from the main road to anywhere. Henry - a talented and dedicated chef running a serious kitchen - has a well-earned reputation for enticing menus, faultless cooking and good value, making Sha-Roe well worth a detour. So, first time visitors coming for good food will be very pleased indeed with what’s on their plates – but there’s much more to the Sha-Roe than what comes out of the kitchen, however good the cooking. The building has been very sympathetically converted, with many delightful details – an odd little insert in an uneven original corridor wall provides a shelf for a nightlight, a tiny old cottagey window in the back of the dining room has been retained, allowing a peep into the kitchen. Arriving on a chilly autumn night, a welcoming log fire burns in the lovely sitting room and, in the dining room itself, a glowing stove in a big open stone fireplace has wood stacked up alongside ready for refills. Nightlights flicker everywhere, and simply laid tables are graced with a stone mustard jar holding a simple bouquet of fresh flowers. Most of all, the welcome is warm and the highly professional service, under Stephanie’s guidance, is genuinely caring – there’s the sense of a happy team at work. This is a place where guests can relax and enjoy outstanding food in the confidence that everything will run smoothly. Charming – and very, very good.

GREEN IRELAND HOSPITALITY AWARD 2010
Bush Hotel, Carrick-on-Shannon, Co Leitrim
The question of ecological damage caused by tourism has been taxing many a mind of late, and we are no exceptions. When requesting factual data from recommended establishments over the last few years, we’ve asked about environmental accreditation and any initiatives being undertaken by individual properties. Until recently the response has been minimal, but there’s now been a noticeable change, with many establishments taking active measures to reduce environmental damage, some achieving national recognition with the Green Hospitality Awards scheme, and some receiving official EU recognition of standards being met. By way of further encouragement, we have decided to give an annual GCGuides Green Ireland Hospitality Award, which is open to all categories in The Guide.
It is interesting that one of Ireland’s oldest hotels, The Bush Hotel in Carrick-on-Shannon, should be the first hotel in Ireland to receive the EU Eco-label ‘Flower’ award in recognition of its commitment to sustainable tourism and protection of the local environment: The Bush may be best known for its old-fashioned hospitality and exceptionally pleasant and helpful staff, but it’s clear that there’s nothing backward-looking about the management.
The ‘Flower’ comprises 84 very specific and technical criteria in energy, water and waste management - with much emphasis on environmental awareness & innovation. Initiatives undertaken include installing over 1300 Class A Low Energy bulbs which provide 97% of lighting in the hotel, contracting Airtricity as its electricity provider, and emphasising locally sourced products. The hotel also does not accept pallets, shrink wrap, bubble wraps or polystyrene, all deliveries now come in returnable and reusable plastic crates and all excess packaging is removed by suppliers.
The Greenbox eco-tourism area is close by, taking in parts of Donegal, parts of Sligo, West Cavan, Fermanagh and Leitrim, but – along with Enniskillen - Carrick-on-Shannon is excluded from the project due to its size of population; however, interest in eco-tourism in the general area may drive well-earned extra business to the hotel. MD Joseph Dolan commented that, “From a business perspective, our environmental management approach has delivered significant cost reductions which we have been able to pass on to our loyal customers.” It’s good to know that what’s good for the environment is also good for our pockets – well done to all at The Bush.

FAMILY FRIENDLY HOTEL OF THE YEAR 2010:
Quality Hotel, Clonakilty, Co Cork
Any parent worried about the weather when deciding whether to holiday in Ireland, should consider the growing number of hotels that have opted to specialise in family holidays, and particularly our Family Friendly Hotel award winners.
This year, this important award goes to ever-popular West Cork, where many happy families vote with their feet by heading back to the Quality Hotel Clonakilty, every year. And no wonder - this exceptionally family-friendly hotel on the edge of the town is just the kind of place to holiday with kids. There’s masses to do and visit nearby, including the West Cork Model Railway Village which has an old-style train that picks people up at the hotel en route to exploring Clonakilty and nearby Inchydoney (where there’s a blue flag beach). And this summer the hotel’s fantastic on-site facilities got even better with some brilliant new choices added, including a Jungle Gym area (over 2 levels, with a toddler area and one for 4-12yrs) and also a Teen Zone (with Xboxes, Playstations, air hockey etc). In summer and all mid-term breaks a Kids Kamp offers masses of activities for 5-14 year-olds, mainly held outdoors if possible. Fun for kids and relaxing for parents – accommodation is recently refurbished and Clonakilty’s on the doorstep for evenings too. Just what’s wanted for families.

HIDEAWAY OF THE YEAR 2010:
The Old Convent Gourmet Hideaway, Clogheen, Co Tipperary
Dozens of interesting places hidden around Ireland come under the microscope when we’re considering this much sought-after award, and we’re happy to report that this country is very well endowed with well-run characterful places off the beaten track that please the many visitors who are looking for interesting and restful alternatives to the standard hotel offering.
We all have times when what’s really needed is a quiet couple of days pampering in a child-free zone need –for some this may mean a spa break but, for those in the know, a visit to Clogheen is the business. There’s nowhere in Ireland even remotely like Dermot and Christine Gannon’s restaurant with accommodation. It’s in a beautiful, unspoilt - yet relatively little known - area, near the scenic ‘Vee’ in the Knockmealdown Mountains, and it’s very much itself: an unusual, very comfortable, stylishly decorated, country house with gorgeous rooms, and gardens under development as an interesting amenity for guests, and to grow home produce for Dermot’s kitchen. For good food is the key element at the Old Convent: Dermot, who is one of Ireland’s most talented (and modest) chefs, offers unique, perfectly judged 9-course Tasting Menus using the best locally sourced ingredients - organic when possible, although it doesn’t look as if the recently acquired piglets will be heading for the pot! The cooking is stunningly accurate, without a foam, drizzle or a smoke to be seen – and there’s no cheffy arrogance either so, although surplus to requirements, a (tiny) salt and pepper set is offered on tables. Add charming service under Christine’s direction – and exceptionally delicious and original breakfasts – and it all adds up to a dream hideaway.

COUNTRY HOUSE OF THE YEAR 2010:
Gregans Castle, Ballyvaughan, Co Clare
There’s been a tendency for country houses to go all posh and designery in recent years – losing their essential character and becoming, in some cases, too much like hotels.
Not so this quietly luxurious place which, although it is actually categorised as an hotel, retains its essential country house character and a uniquely serene atmosphere. Set in solitary splendour in the lunar landscape of the Burren, and surrounded by trees and gardens, Simon and Freddie Haden’s oasis of warmth, comfort and hospitality can be seen from miles around. Spacious rooms, luxuriously furnished with understated contemporary style by Freddie, have lovely countryside views - and are deliberately left without the worldly interference of television. It may surprise some guests to find that this quiet retreat is a serious fine dining destination - gifted head chef, Mickael Viljanen, revels in the commitment to using local and organic produce which has always been a key feature of Gregans Castle, but he cooks in a modern European style, and offers exciting menus, which include a daily changing nine course Tasting Menu in addition to a tempting à la carte. Dishes which might not succeed in lesser hands are a triumph here: dinner is a special treat at Gregans Castle these days - and people travel from miles around to enjoy it; simpler souls might visit for the short à la carte lunch menu (very nicely served in The Corkscrew Bar) or delicious Afternoon Teas.

B&B OF THE YEAR 2010:
Beech Hill House Holywood, Co Down
If you ever need somewhere really relaxing, peaceful and away-from-it all to stay near Belfast, Victoria Brann’s Georgian-style house in the hills above Holywood
is just the place. Although not pretending to be old, the proportions are classic and it’s beautifully furnished with family antiques – and, once inside, it has the genuine feel of a stylish period house. Rooms complete with hospitality trays, fresh flowers, comfortable chairs, wireless broadband and laptop-size safes look out over the rolling North Down countryside and have lots of little extras: beds are made up with fine Irish linen, bathrooms have robes and slippers, also a neck cushion for the bath, there’s even a hot water bottle just in case – and a torch thoughtfully placed beside the bed. And it comes as a nice surprise in such pristine surroundings that Victoria is an animal lover, and small dogs are allowed in by arrangement. She was also a caterer in a previous life and it shows in delicious (and very generous) cooked to order breakfasts, served in a classic dining room – decorated, among other things, with a collection of silver cloches from her catering days. Magnificent.

FARMHOUSE OF THE YEAR 2010:
Killiane Castle Drinagh, Co Wexford
A gently modernised, upgraded version of the Irish B&B/farmhouse experience meets the needs of the current climate very well – and it is good to see this traditional Irish hospitality beginning to gain wider recognition again.
Just a few miles from Wexford town, Kathleen and Jack Mernagh’s magical farm is the perfect place for stressed townies, especially with children in tow – a real castle, a 17th century house to stay in, and lots to do. The 11th century castle is under restoration - you can go in and up and inspect it – there are well signed farm walks (see a modern dairy in action), heritage pigs (saddleback and Gloucester Old Spot) for producing their own bacon, and hens to supply the eggs for the delicious breakfasts that Kathleen serves in the warm, cosy dining-room, where there are baby chairs and space kept for buggies. There’s a driving range, croquet, tennis court, lots of garden furniture (for all times of day and wind direction), very comfortable accommodation and plenty to read in both the sitting room and bedrooms (history of castle, area, books and magazines). No dinners, but breakfast is wonderful and the Mernaghs direct guests to the best local choices for evening meals. A marvellous experience – too good just for a stop en route to the ferry (although that might be a useful introduction), it deserves a proper break.

NEWCOMER OF THE YEAR 2010:
An Port Mór, Westport, Co Mayo
Given the year that’s in it, it’s especially encouraging to find that there are still talented and committed people prepared to start up new enterprises. One such is Euro-Toques chef Frankie Mallon, who is well known in Westport, where he was head chef at Cronin’s Sheebeen for some years. Now he is master of his own ship, so to speak, and, although only open since May, is delighting customers with his sound, no nonsense cooking, and carving out quite a reputation for his new venture, An Port Mór. [The name has a nice west of Ireland ring to it but it’s actually named after Portmór House in his home town of Blackwatertown, in Co Armagh - not a lot of people know this, but it’s pleasingly familiar place to us, from our Taste of the Waterways Guide (published annually in association with Waterways Ireland).] Anyway, this relaxed and can-do proprietor-chef’s new baby is a hit with guests who love the atmosphere, the local staff who know all about the food producers featured on the menu – and, of course, his excellent food, especially the emphasis on fresh fish. A great addition to the dining options in this lovely town, An Port Mór looks set for success.

Listowel Food Fair - just ask!

2009-10-20T18:24:00.003+01:00

What nicer place could one be in the beginning of November than Listowel in County Kerry. You wouldn't need any excuse to be there but the Listowel Food Fair adds another tasteful reason.

The longest running food festival in Ireland, it was first held in 1995 to celebrate Irish food and its producers. This hugely popular event is organised by a dedicated voluntary committee, which this year they have created another jam-packed programme with something to suit everyone. It runs from the 5th to the 8th November.

The launch night celebrity chef is Kevin Dundon of Dunbrody House, Wexford. Kevin is well known from his TV appearances on The Afternoon Show, Gorilla Gourmet and Heat cookery programmes.
Following the opening night awards ceremony - which includes the National Farmhouse Cheese of the Year, the best New Food Product and the Irish Food Book of the Year - Kevin will give a cookery demonstration. He will also host a special coffee morning on Saturday when he will chat about food and sign copies of his latest book ‘Great Family Food’.

New for the 2009 Fair is the ‘Kerry Just Ask! Restaurant of the Year’ competition. Open to all restaurants in Kerry, Just Ask! is a public awareness campaign that aims to encourage consumers to look for information on where the food (particularly meat) on their plate comes from and to encourage chefs to provide this information on their menus.

Other items on this year’s programme include children's workshops, organic farming classes, Start your own Food Business seminar, a food trail, cake decorating workshops, farming seminars and more. Sunday’s annual Food and Craft market takes place from 10am to 5.30pm and the Fair finishes later that evening with a wine tasting event.

Some one just ask me and I will go!

The rat rattles on still!

2009-10-15T17:43:00.004+01:00

So Bertie launches his book all about the wonderful fellow he is and how he brought prosperity to the country and all dat!
He had only left the job when the place fell into disarray! Jaayus! You can't trust anyone else with doing your job - they'll only make a balls of it! You have to do it yourself!
The little rat was on the Late Late Show recently, muttering about how he would have done things differently and inferring if he was in power, we would all be living in gilded prosperity.
This from the asshole that blew 10 years of massive tax income and blew it all on the public service unions and his vanity projects. Now he wants to be President! Well at least he'll have no power in that role but we would be some bunch of fools to allow him into the house in the Park.
He and his cronies have created an Ireland that has a divided society and cooked up the perfect recipe for a revolution. And a revolution there will be - have no doubt!
When it happens, the first house that should be burned is the one Bertie didn't pay for in Drumcondra. The second one should be wherever that bearded binman of a union leader, Jack O'Connor, lives.

Then again, knowing the form of Bertie in having a love affair with the unions, you might be lucky enough to find the pair of them in the one house in the one bed!

It would save a bit of petrol in these recessionary times!

Eddie O'Connor's wisdom

2009-10-14T20:46:00.005+01:00

Dr Eddie O’Connor, one of Ireland’s leading serial green entrepreneurs today delivered the 70th NovaUCD ‘Entrepreneurs Live!’ seminar.
The aim of the ‘Entrepreneurs Live!’ seminars, which are organised by NovaUCD in association with the Dún Laoghaire-Rathdown County Enterprise Board, is to promote a spirit of entrepreneurship among the academic, research and student population at UCD. Dr O’Connor today launched the 13th seminar series which has a clean-tech theme.

Dr Eddie O’Connor is founder and CEO of Mainstream Renewable Power whose global vision is to develop, construct and operate a range of renewable energy plants using wind energy, solar thermal and ocean currents. The company, which was established in 2008, has raised €72 million in funding including a €20 million investment from Barclays Capital. Dr O’Connor was previously the founder and CEO of Airtricity Holdings Ltd, a global leader in renewable energy development and wind farm operations.

Before that Eddie was a public servant! Can you believe that?
Well, it is true and there are many in Ireland who are glad that he left the ranks of the public service, even relatively late, and went on to do create wonderfully innovative companies.
His insight for would-be entrepreneurs was that, “In a world dominated by sectional interests, entrepreneurs flourish by taking a customer focused ethical stance and are the living embodiment of the values they espouse.”

The remaining guest speakers in the current series, which take place each Wednesday lunch time (1 pm – 1:50 pm) until November 11 are; Dr Peter Daly, co-founder, Cleantech Ireland (October 21), Tom Marren, MD, Combined Energy Solutions (October 28) and Dr Hugh Henry, Director of Innovation and R&D, Bord na Móna (November 4).

At the last seminar (November 11) a panel including André Fernon, co-founder, SolarPrint, Andrew Parish, CEO, Wavebob and John Travers, CEO, Alternative Energy Resources will share their experiences of Enterprise Ireland’s first dedicated clean-tech trade mission to Silicon Valley which ended recently.

The seminars, which are free to attend, take place in NovaUCD, Belfield, Dublin 4 and attendance is open to all.

Speaking at the launch of the current seminar series, Dr Pat Frain, Director, NovaUCD, said, “Given the current economic climate it is not surprising that the ‘Entrepreneurs Live!’ seminars are attracting large and diverse audiences. The establishment of new high-tech ventures is vitally important in transferring research-generated intellectual property into the market place and creating sustainable knowledge-intensive jobs. Given UCD’s research strengths in clean-tech it is not surprising that it has spun-out many clean-tech ventures over the last two decades.”

At the NovaUCD ‘Entrepreneurs Live!’ seminars the guest entrepreneurs talk about their experiences of setting-up and running their businesses and reveal the secrets of their success. They also emphasise the lessons learned and the highs and lows encountered along their entrepreneurial journeys.

Michael Johnson, CEO, Dún Laoghaire-Rathdown County Enterprise Board said, “The ‘Entrepreneurs Live!’ seminar series is a hugely successful collaboration between our organisation and NovaUCD. By talking openly about their experiences as entrepreneurs, the featured business owners give audiences a valuable insight into the commercial and personal challenges that arise when starting and growing a venture.” He added that, “particularly in the current economic circumstances, there is an urgent need for entrepreneurship to be promoted as a viable career choice and as a means to put Ireland back on the path to growth.”

Previous NovaUCD ‘Entrepreneurs Live!’ guest speakers include; Anne Heraty, CPL Group; Colm Lyon, Realex Payments; Eamonn Fallon, Daft.ie; Sean Gallagher, Smarthomes and Dr John Teeling, Cooley Distillery.

The launch of the 13th NovaUCD ‘Entrepreneurs Live!’ seminar series was part of Innovation Dublin 2009, a week long festival of events to showcase, highlight, promote and encourage innovation and creativity in Dublin and runs from 14 to 20 October.

Let's have a more positive Ireland!

2009-10-13T08:37:00.003+01:00

So the farmers are protesting now, blocking the country with tractors. What good will that do? The sympathy that existed for them will evaporate very quickly when people who want to get to work cannot do so or when those going to a doctor are blocked from getting there by a protest that has nothing to do with them.

Last week it was the students, next week the unions and so on and so forth. When will it stop?
Ireland is in free fall and all we can do is rail against society for our own parochial interests instead of getting together and acting positively to save the country.

We ignore the power of common purpose and positivity. We are anti-everything. Our actions are akin to throwing buckets of water into the lifeboats instead of out.
Mother Theresa put it well: "I will never go to an anti-war rally but show me a peace rally and I will be there"

Look Around Ireland launch Forgotten Irish campaign

2009-10-10T19:58:00.005+01:00

www.lookaroundireland.com is launching the Look Around Ireland Trust Forgotten Irish campaign following the broadcasting of a documentary The Forgotten Irish by TV3, which highlighted the unfortunate plight of many Irish emigrants to the UK and the USA.

Many, many young people left Ireland to work in the UK in the 40's and 50's because of the desperate economic times in Ireland. The men worked mainly as labourers on building sites and motorway construction projects. The women worked in hospitals, factories and offices, mostly in menial positions, The majority of them settled into a normal life, some returning home to Ireland and some remaining in the UK, where they raised their families.

However, for a considerable amount of those emigrants, life was far from normal. Many of the people who immigrated to the UK had been inmates of Irish institutions where they had been abused and mistreated. They effectively used the United Kingdom as a refugee bolt hole to escape from the horrors of the orphanages and schools in which they were incarcerated. They were very young and emotionally ill equipped to settle down and establish a life in a new unwelcoming environment.
They lived out their lives in the lonely isolation of anonymous boarding houses with their only solace being the dubious companion of drink
Many never married and most had relationships that failed for reasons of constant relocation, as they followed the work opportunities from one end of the country to the other. Many ended up homeless, sleeping on the streets and dying lonely deaths in back alleys and doorways.

Although the TV3 documentary, The Forgotten Irish, focused on Britain, there are many similar stories in the USA as well, particularly in New York and Boston. Here again you have people who slipped through the monitoring processes of the welfare agencies and lived out lives of self-neglect, victims of alcohol and drugs abuse who lost all contact with their home country and relations.

Those who survived are now in their twilight years, impoverished and invisible to the system of care. They live lonely lives, in atrocious conditions brought about by their inability to make some provision for their old age when working. They are the polar opposite to the many noted successful Irish emigrants who made it big in the UK and the USA.

The website is creating an online social network community that will appeal to people with Irish connections all over the world to assist in raising funds.

“This is akin to a Facebook for the Irish Diaspora”, said John Mc Keown, director of www.lookaroundireland.com, whose own father was one of the many who left Ireland for England in the 1940’s and who eventually returned home to settle in Ireland.

“In a bid to help the people, we are organizing the Look Around Ireland Trust for Forgotten Irish campaign, an online community network, where we hope to sign up one million people before St. Patrick’s Day 2010. It's free to sign up, but we would hope that people would consider donating just €1 when joining the Community”.

www.lookaroundireland.com has a target of reaching €1,000,000 by St Patricks Day 2010 to give to worthy charities that offer services to these marginalized Irish and they of course would welcome any donation, big or small, in excess of the €1 figure.
The two selected charities are Safe-Home Ireland and the Ireland Fund of Great Britain.

Safe-Home Ireland, run by Dr. Jerry Crowley, is located at the St Brendan’s Village Centre in Mulranny, Co. Mayo. They organize the return of older Irish people to live out their lives in their assisted living centre, to which they are adding an extension to cater for the demand there is from people using the facilities. At present, the organization has 1,037 people on a waiting list.

The Ireland Fund of Great Britain, which is running the Forgotten Irish Campaign in Great Britain, headed by Hugo McNeill, offers similar facilities for re-settling people in Britain and Ireland.

www.lookaroundireland.com are also actively looking for sponsors to assist with costs and appeal to successful Irish businesses to help the cause, whilst being acutely aware of the difficult times that exist for all in Ireland at present.

Donations can be securely made through the site via Paypal to Wren Innovations Ltd (the websites registered business name) or to AIB Bank Drogheda Branch, Account No: 46579059, Sort Code 93-20-94.
Visit www.lookaroundireland.com/forgottenirish.htm

This is the real world, Peter!

2009-10-08T05:08:00.003+01:00

It is impossible to drive through any city in Ireland now without encountering a protest of some kind or other. Everybody is protesting,against multiple unfortunate events befalling them, blocking the streets to the few remaining people that actually work in this country.

The students of Ireland are the latest to embark on nationwide protests.
The Union of Students in Ireland will hold a succession of protests on college campuses around the south of Ireland as part of its campaign against the reintroduction of fees.

Protests will be held by University College Cork, the Limerick School of Art and Design and the Institutes of Technologies in Carlow, Limerick Tralee and Waterford from October 7 – 14.

Hundreds of students, representing their individual colleges, will come out to voice their opposition to the reintroduction of fees at each event. A host of local TD's have also been invited to speak at the rallies.

Well students have always protested through the generations about something or other. It is practically a rite of passage.When you look back on RTE's Reeling in the Years, you will see the student leaders of yesteryear protesting. Most are now TD's or ministers in Government!

The very busy USI President, Peter Mannion, said solemnly:

“The students of Ireland want a winter of change. If the current crop of Irish politicians decide to reintroduce third level fees, the youth of this country will suffer greatly"

A winter of change for the students? What! No drink, no drugs or no mad sex? No skipping lectures? No texts to Mum or Dad looking for more money for booze, sorry, books?

Peter goes on: "The students did not create our economic problems, yet it is their futures that are at stake. The education of current and future generations should not be sacrificed to bail out the foolish spending of the Government.
The students of this nation are angry with proposals to tax education through tuition fees. This Government should be investing in education to secure the country’s recovery from the recession".

Well said, Peter! You have all the makings of a future leader of this country.
And for those who don't know, Peter's position as USI leader is a full time paid job with expenses. A bit like John O'Donoghue's job in the Dail when you think about it!
As Miley in Glenroe might say, "Will get up the feckin yard Peter and join the real world!

Corporate bastards can go to Hell with their offers!

2009-10-01T22:02:00.007+01:00

That venerable institution of Irish banking,Irish Nationwide, have just issued the following press release. It is worth reading and then remembering the corporate bastards that released it and to which it refers.

"Irish Nationwide Building Society has launched a unique Instant Access Deposit Account for savers which can be opened with just €1.
The Instant Access Deposit Account allows savers to open an account with as little as €1, earning a variable rate of 3.75% on savings up to €20,000. They can save as much as they wish whenever they wish with the new Irish Nationwide product. In addition savings can be instantly accessed and there is no limit to the amount which can be withdrawn. The standard variable rate of 2.50% is payable on amounts in excess of €20,000.

“We understand that people’s daily needs and lifestyle can vary when it comes to their savings so we wanted to offer a product that is truly tailored to what they are looking for. With current market uncertainty and the ECB rate at a record low, we know that savers are eager to earn a competitive interest rate while also having immediate access to their funds,” Irish Nationwide’s Savings Product Manager said at the launch of the Instant Access Deposit Account.

“No other Demand Deposit account offers such a high rate on savings up to €20,000. Our nearest competitor only offers the rate up to €10,000. Historically Irish Nationwide Building Society has been dedicated to providing outstanding value to savers by consistently offering market leading interest rates and we are continuing that with this exciting new product”.

The Instant Access Deposit Account interest rate comprises of a variable bonus rate of 1.25% plus the standard variable rate of 2.50%, payable on balances up to €20,000. The bonus rate of 1.25% is available until 31 December 2010. The standard variable rate of 2.50% applies to any amounts over €20,000. Interest is calculated on a daily basis and paid annually on the 31st December."

Did you ever read such bullshit in your life? Irish Nationwide dedicated to savers? Understands people's daily needs? Wanted to offer a product to suit the customer?
Ha! Ha! That by the way is a laugh of derision! Not of pleasure or amusement.
This is the same Irish Nationwide who hold the record for the number of repossessions of hard pressed homeowners.
This the Irish Nationwide who imposes savage interest penalties on those in arrears - as bad as moneylender rates.
This is the same Irish Nationwide which is supposed to be a mutual society owned by its members but in effect was ran for his own benefit by the corporate tyrant, Michael Fingleton, until he was forced to quit in disgrace recently and is now being investigated by the Garda Fraud Squad.
The same Irish Nationwide who agreed to pay the buffoon "Fingers" a €28 million pension plus a €1 million lump sum to walk away, which he now refuses to give back.

Now they produce this bullshit, making themselves out to be angels of generosity to the public about which they care so much.
The bastards need your money now because they can't get it from anywhere else.Thats the only reason for the higher interest rates!
I say; tell them to to hell on horseback and give the "Fingers" institution of greed what they deserve - two fingers!
Keep your money under the bed rather than give it to such a financial brothel!

Vote YES for survival!

2009-09-30T19:39:00.006+01:00

It is very simple really!
Either we stay out of the tent and piss into it or we stay in the tent and piss out?
Despite all the misgivings about the Lisbon Treaty, I say vote YES on Friday October 2nd! 2009.
Ireland cannot afford to offend Europe now given the perilous condition Bertie Ahern and Brian Cowen have left this country in with 12 years of incompetence and corruption.
Voting NO just to kick the ass of the Government is stupid. Do it in a general election!
On Friday vote YES for survival! Simple as that! And yes I voted NO the last time too!

Get those boots on!

2009-09-30T19:34:00.004+01:00

Get those boots on walk all over the recession! Ireland is a beautiful country to explore and exercise is good for the spirit in these awful times!
NATIONAL TRAILS DAY is being organized this year on the 4th October 2009. It is a celebration of Ireland’s wonderful variety of trails and a chance for everyone to enjoy some of our most beautiful countryside, forests, mountains and lakes. South Dublin County Council will be participating in the event with four walks organized in our parks:
• Guided Walk of a section of Dodder Valley Park: This will be a stroll in a section of the Dodder Valley to the rear of Rathfarnham Shopping Centre that should open your eyes to the often unseen natural world that is right on our doorstep
• A Walk in Waterstown Park, Liffey Valley: A gentle walk in Waterstown Park, a constituent park of the planned Liffey Valley Regional Park. It will explore the natural and the built heritage of the park.
• Tymon Park Guided Walk: A walk around the perimeter of the park, taking in the woodland, grassland, pitches, wonderful playgrounds, lakes and so much more that is available in this Regional Park and in the process discovering the new Slí na Sláinte routes in the park.
• Clondalkin Village to Corkagh Park: This event starts in Clondalkin Village and proceeds from there by way of Clondalkin Park and along the River Camac to Corkagh Park. On the way it passes an old millstream, Clondalkin Sports and Leisure Centre, woodland and playing pitches, old mills, allotments and the location of the old Corkagh House.
National Trails Day 2008 was very successful, with more than 6,000 people across the country getting out to enjoy trails in a variety of ways at over 67 events held across the country. Last year there were “bat walks”, mountain bike cycles, family orienteering, Leave No Trace hikes, trail conservation work, heritage walks and just plain ordinary walking!

So get the boots on, make the sandwiches and hit the trail on October 4th for a great day out enjoying nature. Remember to bring your camera and submit your photos to the fantastic photo competition.

No golf for the grey generation in Ireland!

2009-09-30T19:18:00.004+01:00

So much for the early happy retirement in Ireland!
Thanks to the greed of the Irish banks, most of the accumulated pension values of Irish people have been wiped out.
Now the grey are going to have to graft until they are blue- in the face!
As a country, Ireland’s demographic footprint is changing – people are getting older and are faced with a longer working life than previous generations, says Michael Gordon, investment expert with Hibernian Aviva Life & Pensions.

Hibernian Aviva Life & Pensions research reveals 50% of people are prepared to work past retirement age to fund their retirement and data from the Central Statistics Office (CSO) reveals those aged 65+ will account for one fifth of the population by 2036- in comparison to just 11% in 2001. Furthermore, the number of ‘oldest old’ persons (those aged 80 and over) is projected to more than treble from a 2001 level of 98,000 to about 320,000 in 2030.

Commenting on this grey evolution, Michael Gordon of Hibernian Aviva Life & Pensions said: “These findings reveal the face of Irish society is changing with the ageing of the population. So it is important for pre-retirees talk to a financial adviser about their future financial security and start saving for retirement”.

However, Hibernian Aviva Life & Pensions research also reveals many consumers are putting a freeze on their retirement savings as a result of the economic downturn with 34% of people not regularly setting aside money for when they retire. Michael Gordon said: “The research reveals that consumers are clearly nervous about investing at the moment because of the current financial market turmoil. However by not saving for retirement Ireland’s consumers may be forced to live a very frugal lifestyle with just the state pension of Euro230.30 per week to live on or the equivalent of about Euro12,000 per year”, continues Michael Gordon.

“By talking to a financial adviser and saving for retirement, people can overcome these issues leading to a more balanced and relaxing lifestyle after the normal retirement age of 65”, continues Michael Gordon.
A spokesman for www.moneyireland.net, an online advisory service, stated that the pension fund managers are going to have to get creative with their pension offerings to ensure balanced portfolios to avoid the exposure to the volatile sectors that this generation were subject to.

Hibernian Aviva Life & Pensions suggests investors consider euro cost averaging when it comes to retirement planning. “Despite the market turmoil since last September, many pension clients that pay their pension on a monthly basis have been pleasantly surprised to see that they have benefited from what is called Euro Cost Averaging. Essentially by regularly paying into their pension, these clients have bought at a lower price as markets fell and are now benefiting from the strong equity market rally that has occurred since March”, says Michael Gordon of Hibernian Aviva Life & Pensions.

For pension investors looking for a smoother investment journey Hibernian Aviva has launched the Aviva Irl BlackRock European Absolute Return Strategies Fund (EARS). “With the Aviva Irl BlackRock European Absolute Return Strategies Fund (EARS) we are helping Ireland’s investors smooth out the bumps in the financial market and avoid the risks associated with making once-off lump sum investments. It is so important that investors realise they can still make money and increase the value of their retirement fund during the recession by making regular investments”.

The moral of the story is keep an eye on your own pension within these funds, or better still, build your own pension.

Ignorance is bliss in Irish homes

2009-09-30T19:08:00.004+01:00

A recent EU study, which sampled Irish, UK and Danish homeowners, found that they were more interested in the comfort in their homes than either saving money or saving energy.

Yet all three goals are achievable, and homeowners and building professionals can learn how to do so in a new workshop on Retrofitting Homes for Comfort and Energy Efficiency. This workshop, developed and presented by DWEcoCo Ltd. (www.dwecoco.ie), is offered now, and through December in Dublin and Cork.

“People may not realise that retrofitting doesn’t have to be costly and that energy and cost savings can be seen after only a €35 investment. Bigger investments achieve bigger pay offs, especially with the Home Energy Saving Scheme grants. Investing in the energy efficiency of your own home is the best investment you can make and is a growing business opportunity. There are ‘green loans’, innovative funding and financial incentives available. Our workshops are designed to provide the technical and financial information combined with practical knowledge so that people can make their homes warmer and save energy and money,” explains Jay Stuart, Architect and Managing Director of DWEcoCo.

This workshop is designed to suit all levels of knowledge of buildings and construction. The main objective is to provide participants with sufficient information and practical examples to plan a house retrofit that will improve the comfort and health of the occupants while reducing the energy costs of the home. Learn about the steps that can be taken to improve a home and access the HES grants. Don’t wait until the weather or fuel prices make you think about being warm or your energy bill. Get the right information now to make the best decisions for your property and the future!
Home Heating Ireland welcomed the workshop, emphasizing the ignorance that exists in Ireland in relation to the simple and inexpensive steps that can be taken which give immediate savings in energy costs.

DWEcoCo’s partnership with NICER Training (www.nicertraining.ie) to deliver these workshops is part of the commitment of both companies to spread the best knowledge about the sustainable building industry to all those interested in the built environment. Both DW EcoCo and NICER are members of ÉASCA, the Environmental and Sustainable Construction Association.

Greenwave Project 2009 a huge success!

2009-09-28T21:55:00.001+01:00

A total of 337 primary schools took part in the Greenwave 2009 project – a mass science experiment for Irish national schools which involves tracking the movement of spring across Ireland. Students from participating schools were asked to record the ash, horse chestnut and hawthorn trees, the primrose, the swallow and frogspawn. This year, participants were also asked to record the rainfall throughout the months of February to May. Scoil Chaitríona Junior from Renmore, County Galway was selected as the winning school for a nationwide photography competition run as part of the Greenwave programme for their picture of a frogspawn sighting. In total, 834 sightings were submitted by 337 Primary School classes from across the country.
Some of the findings by schools included:
• The first swallow was spotted on 2nd April
• The highest average weekly rainfall was between 5th-12th April, with an average of 31.69mm recorded
• The warmest average weekly temperature, 12.13 degrees Celsius, was recorded between 24th-31st May
Commenting on the results, Eanna Ni Lahmna, said, “The results over the three years that Greenwave is running now show that Spring is arriving earlier particularly in the south west where frogs are now spawning in January. The wealth of results sent in by schools from all over the country are providing very useful baseline data on climate change.”
Peter Brabazon, Programme Director of Discovery Science & Engineering, added, “The success of this year’s Greenwave project is evident in the amount of children participating from all over the country. It is fantastic to see children taking such an interest in their locality while also learning valuable skills such as data gathering and measurement. The program is a great way of engaging children through nature in developing skills that they will use in second level education”.
Every year a green wave, which is caused by the opening of buds on trees and hedges, can be seen moving across Europe from outer space in springtime. It begins in the south of Europe in February and it moves up across Europe as temperatures rise. The phenomenon travels at approximately the same speed as humans walk – four miles per hour – hence the description of a green wave. According to this, spring would take three weeks to walk across Ireland from Mizen Head to Malin head.

This lady is special!

2009-09-28T21:50:00.001+01:00

Poet, author, musician, and recording, performance and video artist Kylyra will be the featured guest on 29 September 2009 at Ra@The Cobblestone, Smithfield Market, Dublin. This marks the first live appearance in Dublin by this versatile Dark World International artist.

A well respected on-line artist with pages on MySpace, Facebook, Dark World International, and YouTube, Kylyra’s popularity from her performances has grown enormously over the last year. The artist has developed a theatre style show using her poetry, music, and scripting skills. Her Dublin appearance will be the debut of her integrated show idea. “I knew right from the start that I wanted to head in this direction. The Cobblestone is a wonderful venue to premiere my idea in,” Kylyra stated. With her performances already compared to Laurie Anderson, Grace Jones, and Karen Finney, Kylyra’s new show promises to be a hit with a wide audience range. “The show is set around my neo-beat material with a jazz combo backing, but it also includes some of my humorous pieces. I’ve got two brand new poems to lay on the audience as well.”

Ra is Dublin’s premier monthly spoken word showcase, featuring the best in performing spoken word — poetry, hip hop, monologue, storytelling, diatribes, rants and more from Dublin and beyond. Each showcase features new set pieces by award-winning house wordsmiths & joined by guest musicians, and a featured guest performer. Ra maintains the most high-spirited and intense atmosphere of the Dublin spoken word scene and the house credo is one of experimentation, so expect anything. This is the spot for not only fans of the word, but even those who say: “Poetry? I don’t like that stuff…” . They like this stuff; it’s on the menu the last Tuesday of every month beginning and 9 p.m. and it’s absolutely free.

Kylyra will be appearing live at Ra@The Cobblestone, Smithfield Market, Dublin, on 29 September 2009. The evening begins at 9 p.m.

How the dream dies

2009-09-27T14:06:00.001+01:00

ILLUSION

Envelopes lie unopened on the table
That runs the length of the hall.
Logos on the outside
Reveal the utilities call.
No greeting cards contained within,
Nor cheery offers of a prize
Sharp demands in angry prose
Are all that inside lies.
No need to open the missives
When denial provides some comfort
And optimism offers advice; like a friend
Naively not wishing to inflict hurt.
Failure to invoke the plain reality
The demoralising truth unvarnished,
Preserves the dubious veneer that leaves
Your precocious esteem untarnished.

It was all so good back then:
Two cars in the drive, shiny and new,
Holidays three times a year,
The parties every month you threw.
Bling of course was the wrong term for
The little black numbers, so exquisite
The emerald and ruby creations
The discreet salon you used to visit.
This was an envious word, coined
By those who lacked the ability
To match what you could achieve
They dreamt; you made the possible reality.
Why not push the limits of his expense account
To provide personal gratification;
A small reward for the ruthless toil
Extracted from him by the corporation.
Now by order of a cold calculation
Made three thousand miles away:
His career dismantled, talents unwanted,
Responsibilities evaporated, all gone astray.
The corporate God provides the opportunities
Allows you construct your invincibility illusion
Then scatters as dust the castle of sand
That morphed into your sad delusion

CONFIDENCE - two years ago

2009-09-25T20:18:00.002+01:00

The following was written in October 2007. Don't say I didn't tell you!

It is amazing what confidence can do for a person in any walk of life. It can lead them to incredible achievements and allow them surpass their wildest ambitions. It is also infectious and can lift the spirit of those who are around them.

Translate that confidence into an economy and you have what Ireland has become since the so called “Celtic Tiger” effect commenced in the early nineties. Economists differ as when and why it started. Some say that the devaluation of the Irish pound in 1992 was the kick start; others have radical and far fetched opinions that it was the success of the Irish soccer team in the 1990 and 1994 World Cups that gave Ireland Inc. the confidence to step forward and perform on the world stage.

Whatever the reason, and it is surely a myriad of factors, the Irish economy took off and when it did start to have an effect confidence soared. All the positives kicked in to bring the country onto an economic plateau that heretofore was considered unattainable.

Inflation lowered, interest rates dropped, banks started lending money again and allowed the entrepreneurial flair of the sixties “baby boomer” kids to flourish. Confidence created the property boom and the dot com mania that Ireland was so well placed to take advantage of with an educated workforce and the attraction of Ireland to American multinationals anxious to get a foothold in Europe. Add in the enlightened tax policies of Charlie McCreevy who with the bold stroke of halving the dreaded Capital Gains Tax (CGT) to 20% unleashed a wave of equity release from property owners and you had all the ingredients of the perfect economic storm.

And so it proved to be and even when the dot com crash of 2000 occurred, Ireland just picked itself up, dusted down and carried on. Fuelled by immigration, the property market roared forward and the penal 9% stamp duty on property filled the Government coffers to such an extent that budget surpluses became the norm in successive budgets with estimates always being exceeded. We became the envy of the world. We were in the economic equivalent of what is known in sport as “the zone”. Confidence propelled us up and up into the stratosphere and we could not see the fall ever coming.

This is October 2007. Mark the calendar! For this is the month that the dream starts to die. Confidence is an uneasy mistress, and when love turns to hate, the effect is catastrophic.

This week confidence walked out. Truth is, she was not faithful for the last year and Ireland, loves struck as it was, refused to acknowledge it.

The revelations this week that a number of high profile lawyers cum property developers were hoodwinking the banks by taking multi mortgages out on the same property has caused panic in legal and financial circles. Nobody knows how many more will surface. Added to the sub-prime lending time bomb that started in America, the complete collapse in Irish house sales, the drop in value of foreign holiday homes funded from ghost equity in Irish residential property and a big budget deficit looming together with the banks closing their umbrellas at the first drop of rain and now you have all the ingredients of that other perfect storm – the very nasty one.

George Lee was right after all. He had to be sometime. Leave now or forever perish!

And the last one to leave will not have to put out the lights. There will be no lights!

What economic downturn?

2009-09-25T20:11:00.001+01:00

In a time when many travel companies are finding it hard to keep their heads above water, www.LateDeals.ie has just recorded their best month ever. Both the volume and value of sales for August 2009 were 38% higher than the same month in 2008.

Many of the travel operators significantly reduced capacity this year and as a result the number of cut price last minute deals on offer was considerably less than last year. As Juan Cullen, Founder and Managing Director of LateDeals.ie commented, “While many customers expected to find huge reductions on prices this year, there were in fact a lot less bargains out there. The larger Travel Operators all reduced their inventory considerably and, as such, were able to charge full price as availability was limited. The benefit to our customers is that they can access offers from all operators, however small, all on one site. As the top website for last minute holiday offers, we received many exclusive price offers from operators who had excess inventory to sell at the last minute”.

Analysis of the bookings showed that the Canary Islands and Turkey were the leading destinations with the average booking value being €1,412 and the majority of holidays being booked for two people. One week was the most common duration selected.
Latedeals.ie made two important additions to the site this year. The inclusion of Belfast departures greatly increased the choice of accommodation and availability to customers. Republic of Ireland holidaymakers are also benefiting from weaker sterling rates and securing some great deals. In July LateDeals.ie added a Hotel Booking Engine catering for customers who want to book their flights and accommodation separately. Juan Cullen commented, “The package holiday market has been in decline over the last few years. The increase in low cost carriers servicing popular holiday destinations has led to many people booking their own packages instead of with a tour operator. It seemed an obvious move to introduce an accommodation booking system where customers can select the destination of choice and see all offers on accommodation in their chosen location.”

And so it would seem, as more and more travel agencies are closing their doors, that online is the way forward in the travel industry.

Visit www.LateDeals.ie to see the best special offers from Ireland’s tour operators. Sign up for the weekly newsletter to ensure you are kept up to date and check back on a regular basis as offers tend to be short-lived and availability is limited.

Open House Dublin

2009-09-25T20:03:00.004+01:00

The Irish Architecture Foundation is understandably delighted to announce the return of Open House Dublin for it’s fourth annual architectural outing considering the past success of the event.
It is a simple and powerful idea where over one weekend, running from the 8th to 11th October 2009, buildings selected for their architectural quality and interest open their doors to the public.
Open House Dublin has become Ireland’s largest architectural event with an estimated 15,000 people taking to the streets at almost 140 events, ranging from building, walking, and boat and cycling tours, to explore their city architecture. This year the spotlight is on innovative ‘next generation’ buildings, including buildings from Tallaght’s new Cultural Quarter.
Educating children and young adults about the value of architecture is a particular focus of the Open House Dublin programme and the organizers have developed with their partners a series of exciting workshops, such as the (”My Place” series of family and school workshops from the Arts Office of South Dublin County Council.)

All Open House events are free of charge. A full programme of events is available in print and by web.

West Cork Success

2009-09-25T08:35:00.003+01:00

Proven Fine Food from Ireland West Cork’s Woodcock Smokery achieved another resounding success in the annual Great Taste Awards held on Monday 7 September in Fortnum and Mason’s Food Hall. Owner Sally Barnes not only won Best Irish Speciality Award for her wild smoked salmon but also gained a Special Commendation from the judges.
In 2006, Woodcock Smokery was awarded Best Speciality Product, Best Fresh Product and Supreme Champion in the Great Taste Awards, the ultimate recognition for food producers in the UK and Ireland and the most prestigious award in speciality food and drink.
Sally Barnes is also the Ambassador for The Taste of West Cork Food Festival 2009. This annual festival celebrates the range and quality of food produced in West Cork and its artisan producers in the County Cork area.
The Great Taste Awards is organised annually by the Guild of Fine Food with more than 100 leading chefs, cookery writers, retail buyers and other food & drink specialists judging thousands of foods in a process lasting several months.
The best products – most of which are available in delis and farm shops – are awarded one, two or three gold stars in a scheme that echoed the Michelin star scheme for restaurants, with regional and national awards also being presented. September saw the final judging of the “best of the best” at Fortnum & Mason, which also sponsored the Supreme Champion trophy. A three-star gold is the highest level of award any producer can aspire to and is recognised as the definitive independent accreditation of quality.
The chefs, cookery writers and celebrity foodies on this year’s final judging panel included TV chef Antony Worrall Thompson, restaurateur Mark Hix and former Masterchef winner Thomasina Miers.
A surprise addition to the panel was Radio 2 DJ Chris Evans. On the day the BBC revealed he would be taking over Terry Wogan’s breakfast show from next January, Evans raced to Fortnums after his Drivetime show to take part in final judging. The judges’ deliberations were broadcast live on TV screens to an audience of over 400 food producers and buyers as they sampled some of 2009’s Great Taste
Awards three-star gold-winners on display in Fortnum’s famous Food Hall.
Chairman of judges Simon Burdess, Fortnums’ trading director, announced a special commendation for Woodcock Smokery’s wild smoked salmon. Owner Sally Barnes collected the Supreme Champion title in 2006 but was nearly put out of business by the closure soon after of Ireland’s wild salmon fishery. Sally has rebuilt the business on wild-caught Scottish salmon and came within a few votes of winning her second Supreme Champion title this year.
The awards also generate huge business for those who achieve the gold standard. Over the past five years, they have generated over £2.6 million additional sales and 19,900 new listings.
Last autumn, news about gold winning foods reached a massive 35 million consumers. Reports appeared in The Sunday Times, The Guardian and The Independent. Winners featured on The Alan Titchmarsh Show, UKTV’s Market Kitchen and on BBC Radio 2’s Chris Evans Drivetime Show.
Irish online travel guide, www.lookaroundireland.com, congratulated the company on their remarkable success.

New insulated plaster compound launched in Ireland

2009-09-25T08:31:00.001+01:00

New insulated plaster compound launched in Ireland
Dublin based home improvement product distributor Igoe International Ltd has announced the recent launch of Thermilate Eco Insulating Plaster in Ireland.
Managing Director of the company Brendan C Igoe said “Thermilate Eco Plaster has been developed by UK based Thermilate as an offshoot from technology discovered initially during the NASA space programme where this reflective material was designed to cut down extreme heat build up on shuttles etc. The plaster is applied like any normal plaster but its reflective properties has the effect of ‘bouncing back’ a significant amount of the room’s heat which would normally escape out through the walls or ceiling.”
The company claims the product can reduce actual room heat loss by up to 50% depending on the plaster thickness applied. It can be applied to walls & ceilings and also external without any major invasion of living space.
A big benefit is you can switch off your heating possibly an hour sooner or reducing the thermostat by two or even three degrees while maintaining a comfortable room temperature thereby saving on heating bills as well as reducing your carbon footprint. With the expected introduction of additional carbon taxes, Igoe added the timing is perfect for anybody upgrading their overall insulation situation.
Igoe added “Thermilate Eco Plaster is especially effective in older homes where wall insulation is poor or even non existent like old solid stone walls etc. Another benefit is the fact that it reduces and in most cases eliminates ‘cold wall’ condensation and subsequent mould problems because when the warm moist air touches the wall, the Eco Plaster makes the wall feel warmer thereby reducing condensation and formation of water droplets on the wall”
Mr Igoe also stated “Thermilate Eco Plaster can be a cost effective substitute for conventional insulation methods such as dry lining, polystyrene etc, it does offer a huge improvement in ones home comfort factor with minimal reduction in room space.”
Thermilate Eco Plaster retails at €47.38 per 15kg bag, which covers 4 sq metres at 10 mm thick or pro rata.
The development is welcomed as being a positive one in reducing costs of home heating. the development as being particularly attractive or anybody considering doing up old houses on doing attic conversions.

A bit different from the Rose of Tralee!

2009-09-24T09:12:00.000+01:00

Tralee in County Kerry is going to be the home for what surely will be Halloween’s sickest and scariest event this year, with the creation of The Nightmare Realm. Running from October 14th to November 1st next, The Nightmare Realm is being billed by its creators as a cross between a lunatic asylum and a live show. Rather than the usual show format where audiences are safe sitting in their chairs watching from a distance, the audience of The Nightmare Realm are going to have to ‘walk-through’ this house of extreme horrors.
Blue-Box Displays and Tobin Leisure, two Kerry based company’s, have combined time, money and resources to bring to Ireland a craze that has been sweeping the US and Europe for years, but to date no one in Ireland has been brave enough to tackle - the extreme scare and shock market.
Billed as being a strictly over 16’s attraction, the 30minute experience (if you can last that long) promises to frighten off even the hardest customers. Underlining their point Karl (Blue Box) and Ken (Tobin Leisure) are issuing an open invitation to any member of the Kerry Football Team to come and try their attraction for free, to see how tough they really are.
The two Kerry promoters are hoping to that all the College Students and adults in Munster, primarily, visit their attraction, with special offers and promotions available in the build-up to the opening night on Oct 14th. The two are very much aware that an event like this will draw people from right across the country who fancy themselves hard enough not to break down with the extreme scares planned. They also note that this sort of event will be a huge draw for Stag and Hen nights, but have issued a warning to anyone attending to head straight to the pub afterwards to settle their nerves.
The Nightmare Realm, scare house event will be located in the Mileheight Retail Park in Tralee, County Kerry, and starts on October 14th at 8pm, tickets can be bought on the door and further information is available on the Nightmare Realm pages on Bebo and Facebook.
Seems very original and is in sharp and welcome contrast to the mundane Rose of Tralee Festival.

Delta blow to Shannon

2009-09-24T08:59:00.002+01:00

There is grave disappointment at the decision of Delta Airlines to cease their service to New York from October 2009. The loss of the service will impact greatly on the Shannon Region, with counties of Clare, Limerick and Tipperary particularly affected.

The Mayor of Shannon has called on management at Delta Airlines to review their decision to cease the airline’s Shannon to New York service on October 4th next.
Councillor Sean McLoughlin said the American carrier’s basis for ending the 13-year-old service did not stand up.
He said: “The airline claimed that low yield factors had determined their decision to end the service. However, the service carried 30,000 passengers last winter alone. Furthermore, the number of persons using the service has dramatically increased in recent weeks. One flight this weekend, for example, was operating at full capacity. Much of these increases can be attributed to the introduction of pre-clearance facilities at Shannon and the airline’s decision to lower its fares.”
“Aer Lingus’s announcement that it will not be utilizing the US pre-clearance facilities until mid-2010 at the earliest, along with the imminent withdrawal of Delta’s long standing service and ongoing doubts over the future of Aer Lingus’s Shannon to New York service have completely undermined efforts at Shannon Airport to develop new business. The opportunities presented to airlines by the presence of the pre-clearance facilities are numerous but appear to be having little impact on business growth at the airport at present”, commented the Mayor.
Councillor McLoughlin suggested that the Shannon Airport Authority should introduce an additional landing charge incentive scheme in a bid to boost transatlantic traffic and attract new operators.
He continued: “Evidence from around the world indicates that incentive schemes for airlines planning to operate new long haul routes are very successful and generate significant benefits for the airports in question. The Shannon Airport Authority, in conjunction with the Dublin Airport Authority, should explore such options as a 5-Year incentive scheme, which could offer free landing and parking charges for the first 3 years, as well as 75% and 50% discounts for the following 2 years respectively. Another possibility would be to offer 100%, 75%, 50%, 25% and 15% discounts respectively on landing and parking charges.”
“If Shannon Airport is to ever be afforded independent status then it must be given a free hand in matters such as its own marketing strategies. If this does not happen then I fear that Shannon Airport’s transatlantic business will continue to decline”, concluded Mayor McLoughlin.
www.lookaroundireland.com, a leading Irish online Ireland travel information site, said it was not surprised at the decision of Delta in the current economic climate. However, they felt that other than the loss of convenience for those who use the service from the Shannon region, there would be very little impact on tourist numbers visiting the region. Most travelers from the US now include Dublin on an itinerary anyway and they will merely be just changing their schedule to take in the Shannon and Southwest region in reverse.

Close encounters of the Irish kind!

2009-09-23T20:43:00.004+01:00

Ireland is obviously still in need of some sexual enlightenment according to the International School of Tantra which is hosting a weekend workshop September 26-27 in Dublin. On the programme is touch and intimacy. Well this should be interesting!

“Ireland is a spiritual and sexual paradox,” says Martin du Toit, the founder of International School of Tantra. “The church has opened up, the society has evolved but the people are lacking behind. Many lack basic skills in sharing intimacy.”
Well, Holy God, as Miley might say.

Almost every day the International School of Tantra receives crank calls. Martin: “We are addressing an international audience – but almost every telephone stalker we get is from Ireland. And when somebody is actually on the line we often hear the constant sound of a flushing toilet.” Martin says. “It is good though – something is happening in Ireland.”
Listen me auld flower, Martin. Those were priests that were making all the crank calls! The rest of us were all to busy having sex!

The weekend workshop is the first attempt by the International School of Tantra to get a strong hold in Ireland. Since the article “Tantric sex: Get on the love coach” by Deirdre Morrissey was published in the Independent recently, the attention from Ireland has multiplied.

Martin: “I observe in the Irish a deep yearning and desire just to be touched in a pleasant way. So what is where we will start.” The headline of the workshop is “Tantric Touch” and is an introduction and hands-on tantra experience – focusing on touch and intimacy.

“Ultimately tantra is about enlightenment and being alive but the very first step is to open up”, says Martin. “This is our first workshop in Ireland. There is such a deep fear in the Irish regarding sharing intimacy – there is much work to be done. I am partly Irish myself, I know.”

The workshop is open for men, woman, singles and couples. The entry fee is 250€ per person and 300€ for a couple. It takes place in a country villa south of Belfast.(So thats where our parish priest is going next weekend - crafty hoor!)
More information can be found on the website.
€250 per person! A bit steep, I think. In Collon, County Louth, there are several women who would give you unlimited sex for a month for €250!

Obama monument for NAMA!

2009-09-23T20:29:00.004+01:00

They are at it again! The old Irish habit of claiming links to the United States President continues unabated.
An Irish town that claims to be an ancestral home of US president-elect Barack Obama is mulling plans for a heritage centre in his name, a spokesman said on Friday.

Offaly County Council already owns the site of the demolished building in Moneygall, where Obama's great-great-great grandfather on his mother's side grew up before emigrating to the US in 1850.

Councillor Peter Ormond will ask the council to consider building a heritage centre or museum on the site at a meeting next week. "I would like to see us put something in place pretty soon," he told the assembled media.

"If Obama did decide to come in three or four year's time then we would have something in place. There is no point in trying to do it a few months before he comes," he added, saying that publicity about Obama's Irish roots has already led to an increase in US tourists to the area.
Did you ever of such eejits in your life! Why don't they use their energy to create few jobs in County Offaly , a place that is becoming a wasteland with so many jobs lost in the last year. A monument to Obama is not going to produce many! Would ye ever get real down there?

Pros and cons of CFL bulbs

2009-09-23T13:47:00.000+01:00

With the change to the compulsory use of CFL bulbs from January 1st 2010, most retailers of low energy light bulbs believe they now carry the full range of compact florescent light bulbs enabling Irish households to easily complete the switch from incandescent bulbs – both indoor and outdoor bulbs.
There is a wide range of energy-saving light bulbs on the market today, but major supermarkets and hardware stores in Ireland tended up to now to carry a fairly limited range – typically the u-shape and candle shape types. However, in recent weeks one sees a vast increase in the choice available on the shelves. Not that you should only look there. There is real value to obtained online with several online only suppliers, the leading one being Avocalite
Avocalite is a show-case when it comes to choice, they stock; reflectors, pearl-shaped, spirals, candles, mini-globes and u-shaped bulbs. They also cater for most fitting (cap) types such as; GU10, MR16, small Edison and bayonet and all the regular popular fitting sizes.
CFL bulbs not only save energy, but also cost far less to run and are simply a better environmental choice than incandescent light bulbs, so the time has come for every household in Ireland to make the switch. The average household operates about 60 bulbs and the average cost of an Avocalite CFL is around €3.80. Replacing every bulb in one go would cost about €228 so they suggest replacing the bulbs step by step over a three month period.
Avocalite stock a new generation of high-quality Compact Fluorescent lamps, which are far smaller, less expensive and flicker free than previous generations. They also have a quick start with a higher quality of light than the older models. In addition, new LED lighting technologies offer the future promise of even greater energy savings.
However, leading Irish lighting website, www.lightingireland.com has serious reservations about the cost and sudden necessity for the introduction of CLF’s.
“This is another one of the perverted strokes that the Green Party likes to pull to show that they have political clout” said a spokesman for the website. “We have legitimate queries about the effectiveness of CFL’s because of the constant power surges and dips suffered by consumers in the Irish electrical grid. These CFL’s will blow when a dip or a surge occurs just like any other bulb and this happens in Ireland a lot more than in the UK or Europe. When it happens they are very expensive to replace”
www.lightingireland.com also has concerns about he disposal and breakage of CFL bulbs. “These are mercury filled bulbs. If they break or being binned, there is a big risk of dangerous contamination to those handling them. They are quite lethal in broken form” continued the spokesman.

CONRADH NA GAEILGE IS FULL OF CULTURE!

2009-09-23T13:40:00.000+01:00

www.lookaroundireland.com has learned that Conradh na Gaeilge is taking part in the Culture Night 2009 celebrations again this year, with an assortment of great events organised in association with Seachtain na Gaeilge, Ógras and Club Chonradh na Gaeilge in Number 6 Harcourt Street in Dublin and in Áras Íde, 18 Thomas Street in Limerick on 25 September 2009.
Conradh na Gaeilge’s headoffice in Number 6 Harcourt Street, Dublin 2 is steeped in history and there will guided tours of the building open to everyone from 6.00pm to midnight on 25 September 2009. The Sinn Féin bank was based here during the War of Independence, and it is from this very building that the results of the 1918 elections were announced. The tunnel through which the likes of Michael Collins and other senior members of the IRB escaped from the British forces is still intact under the building, and it was in the floors above it that the first Department of Finance was founded under the Free State.
Síne Nic an Ailí, Development Executive with Conradh na Gaeilge said: “The Conradh owns one of the most historical buildings in the capital and we are delighted to have the opportunity to open the doors of Number 6 Harcourt Street to the public as part of this fantastic occasion again this year. There will be refreshments for all the early birds and the whole family will enjoy a cuppa and some cúpla focal in the Conradh on Culture Night 2009. Be there or be square!”
In addition to all the historical interest of Number 6, there will be plenty to keep the children amused too as Conradh na Gaeilge’s youth organisation, Ógras, have organised a special Culture Night workshop too. There will be fun and games through Irish from 6.00 – 8.00pm giving the whole family a chance to enjoy the language in the Conradh.
Conradh na Gaeilge has a great reputation when it comes to providing Irish classes across the country, and any lucky Dubliners with an interest in learning Irish will have the chance to try a free taster-class between 8.00 – 9.00pm on 25 September 2009. With over a hundred years of experience teaching Irish to adults at every level and our new term of classes just starting, there has never been a better time to sample the lively and enjoyable approach to language learning we use in class in the Conradh.
Of course no night in Conradh na Gaeilge would be complete without a bit of music in the Club downstairs and that is exactly what Seachtain na Gaeilge will be providing on the night! The renowned Irish musician Enda Reilly and the sexy Irish-speaking, sean-nós-singing Darach Mac Mathúna will perform with special guests in the basement bar of Club Chonradh na Gaeilge from 9.00pm. Enda’s song, Mol an Aimsir, won Rónán Mac Aodha Bhuí’s Raidió na Gaeltachta competition and he represented Ireland in Nós Úr, a minority languages’ music competition in June of this year, so he is certain to get the crowd jiving to Irish rhythms on Culture Night!
MORE INFORMATION:
Síne Nic an Ailí
Development Executive,
Conradh na Gaeilge (Dublin)
01 4757401 / 087 6546673
Templebar Cultural Trust
www.culturenight.ie
01 6772255 / 01 8883610
Breandán Ó hÉamhaigh
Development Officer,
Conradh na Gaeilge (Limerick)
061 417895 / 085 1020374
www.lookaroundireland wished the organization the best of luck with event. And so say all of us!

New Green product for floors and ceiling launched

2009-09-23T13:32:00.001+01:00

A County Derry company, Ranly Floor and Ceiling Services Ltd, are offering a new service with the all-important Green Energy factor. This would be of interest to anybody doing a new build home or extending their home by adding a conservatory or sunroom or extending a kitchen area.
The product is Polished Concrete. So what makes this process Green?
Reduces impacts from construction or demolition
Reduces heating and cooling loads
Alternative to hazardous components (Epoxies, Resins etc)
Exceptional durability and low-maintenance
Releases minimal pollutants
Polishing concrete is a relatively new technique for turning both new and old concrete slabs into attractive, durable, finished floors. HTC Sweden have pioneered this process of grinding, polishing, and chemically hardening (densifying) concrete in the 1990s, and its system has now been used on more than 100 million square feet of flooring. The HTC Superfloor process was developed by combining European stone-grinding and polishing technology with concrete hardening and densifying agents that had been used in North America. In the process, large walk-behind diamond-wheel grinders remove between 1/20th and 1/4 inch of the concrete floor surface. Consecutively finer-grit grinding and polishing wheels achieve a fine polish (up to 3,000-grit). During the polishing process, sodium silicate is applied; this is absorbed and reacts with the calcium hydroxide in the concrete to form calcium silicate hydrate, which crystallizes within the concrete matrix. The resultant concrete surface is highly durable, easy to maintain, free of VOC emissions, and more reflective (which can reduce light level requirements). The system enables the concrete slab to serve as the finished floor surface, thus reducing material use. Polish Concrete was voted one of the Top-10 Green Building Products for 2006 by BuildingGreen.com
Suspended Ceiling Restoration
The CeilCote process is a unique airless spray treatment specifically developed for the application of ceiling restoration coatings. Suspended Ceiling Restoration coatings are inexpensive coatings that can be applied to any ceiling surface and associated grids without sticking tiles to grids, 100% acoustics are maintained and subjected to the class O fire rating part 6&7. All our ceiling restoration coatings are water-based and environment friendly. As responsible companies we should all do our part to minimize our carbon footprint. Our goal is to educate commercial and retail properties to retain there ceilings over a longer period of time by having them sprayed. By adhering to this procedure, we will decrease our dumping and help improve our environment.
www.kitchensireland.com and www.conservatoryireland.com, leading online publications, welcomed the new process as being another means of reducing carbon emissions in refurbishing or extending homes.

Guinness Storehouse tops world poll

2009-09-22T15:03:00.003+01:00

Ireland’s number one international visitor attraction, Guinness Storehouse, has been named by California-based travel website VirtualTourist.com, as the number one Brewery/Distillery tour in the world. The poll, as voted by the public, applauded the Storehouse with its “museum, brewery tour, tasting lab and rooftop bar with a panoramic view of Dublin”.
This verifies an earlier poll by leading Irish website, www.lookaroundireland.com which although much smaller in scale arrived at the same conclusion.
Fresh from celebrating these great honours, the world-famous Guinness Storehouse is gearing up for this year’s Dublin Culture Night. This night of entertainment, discovery and adventure in Dublin city, will take place on Friday September 25th next.
With free entry and a complimentary pint of Guinness (for those over the age of 18) together with the opportunity to see Dublin at night from the famous Gravity Bar, this is a unique opportunity to explore the Guinness Storehouse and discover one of Dublin’s best-kept secrets.
Those visiting the Guinness Storehouse can take part in a complimentary tour and embrace the history of Ireland’s most famous export. Visitors will find out what it takes to make the ‘black stuff’ and master the craft of how to pull the perfect pint of Guinness. A live DJ in The Source Bar will play funky lounge and chill out music from 6pm until 11pm.
The Guinness Archive will also be open late on the night until 8pm with a number of key documents on display, such as original brewing books from Arthur Guinness’ era and select Guinness advertisements. The Guinness archivists will be on-hand to answer any historical enquiries visitors may have.
Dublin Culture Night takes place Friday September 25th and Guinness Storehouse at St. James’s Gate will be open free to visitors from 5pm – 11pm.
For a full programme of events on Culture Night visit www.culturenight.ie

Sharon Shannon honoured by her own

2009-09-22T14:49:00.002+01:00

Clare County Council hosted a Civic Reception in honour of Irish traditional musician Sharon Shannon on the evening of the 21^st September 2009.

The Ruan-born accordionist, who began her recording career in 1989, is best known for her collaborations with some of the biggest names in the Irish and Global Music Industry, including Bono, Sinead O’Connor, Jackson Browne, John Prine, Steve Earle, Mark Knopfler, The RTE Concert Orchestra, The Chieftains, The Waterboys, Willie Nelson, Nigel Kennedy, Alisson Krauss and Shane MacGowan.

Sharon Shannon’s self-titled 1991 album remains the best selling album of traditional Irish music ever released while she became the youngest person ever to win the Lifetime Achievement Award at the 2009 Meteor Awards.

“A Civic Reception is the highest accolade at the disposal of Clare County Council for any individual, group or organisation and one that is - for Sharon Shannon - thoroughly deserved”, stated the Mayor of Clare Councillor Tony Mulcahy.

Addressing those gathered at Aras Contae and Chláir in Ennis this evening, the Mayor said: “By demonstrating her most wonderful talent as an accordionist, Sharon has brought great acclaim to the Irish traditional music scene, County Clare and those who have had the pleasure of working with her down through the years. Sharon’s versatility as a musician is one of her most outstanding traits and is widely recognised by the global music industry.”

“In presenting Sharon Shannon with a Civic Reception, Clare County Council is also recognising Clare’s rich talent of Irish traditional musicians who have brought happiness to thousands of people throughout the world.

“By making such a rich contribution to the development and promotion of Irish traditional music, Sharon has honoured her contemporaries and those who have come before her. When speaking of figures that have contributed to making County Clare synonymous with Irish traditional music, I know the name Sharon Shannon will forever be mentioned in the same sentence as the likes of Willie Clancy, The Russell Brothers, the Tulla Ceili Band, the Kilfenora Ceili Band and Martin Hayes”, added the Mayor.

Sharon Shannon played festivals all over Europe including Womad and Glastonbury in 2009, and has recently completed a sell-out UK tour and Irish nationwide tour with guests including Shane MacGowan, Mundy and Dessie O’ Halloran. Sharon performed at the Rose of Tralee Festival 2009 and will be touring Ireland in October and December 2009. She is scheduled to perform at the prestigious Sydney and Perth Festivals in Australia in January 2010.

Her new album ‘Saints And Scoundrels’ is due for release this Friday, September 25th 2009.

All we can say is that we agree completely with the sentiments expressed.

Don't be stupid!

2009-09-21T15:58:00.001+01:00

How stupid we can be at times! With the happenings of the last few years, one might say that we Irish are stupid in many ways. Borrowing too much, paying too much for homes, cars, clothes – you name it and we’ve paid over the odds.
These vague thoughts enter my head as the evenings get shorter, the kids are back at school and winter is fast approaching. My thoughts turn to preparing a budget for the heating over the winter.
Our house is a modern house with lots of electronic controls to check and monitor our oil heating. Our neighbour across the road lives in an older house with oil-fired central heating. Visiting one evening the talk turned to home heating and he complained how expensive it was even after the recent falls in oil prices.

Further discussion elicited the information that he had absolutely no controls on his heating system other than the ON/OFF switch. All his radiators came on together and heated the entire house at once. It is not a big house but it was sheer waste of money heating it all and you using only one or two rooms. No wonder his bills were out of control. The individual manual controls on the radiators were seized so he couldn’t even turn off some of the radiators.
I told him to buy one thing only and see a plumber. What was that thing? A blooming thermostat! The simplest little piece of energy efficiency you ever seen.

Did you know that properly using a programmable thermostat in your home is one of the easiest ways you can save energy, money, and help fight global warming? A qualified programmable thermostat helps make it easy for you to save by offering four pre-programmed settings to regulate your home’s temperature in both summer and winter — when you are asleep or away.
The average Irish household spends more than €2,500 a year on energy bills — nearly half of which goes to heating. Homeowners can save about 10% of that a year by properly setting their programmable thermostats and maintaining those settings. That’s €250 for about €20 of an investment. And if we all look closely at our heating outgoings and general energy expenditure, we will find dozens of ways to achieve small savings that all add up to a substantial sum in the end.
The pre-programmed settings that come with qualified programmable thermostats are intended to deliver savings without sacrificing comfort. Depending on your family’s schedule, you can see significant savings by sticking with those settings or adjust them as appropriate for your family. It is amazing to see what you can save with reduced and controlled temperatures that work for your family.
Thermostats are available from all plumbing and hardware outlets throughout Ireland including Woodies and Homebase.

Don’t be stupid! Go buy one.

Let the buyer beware!

2009-09-21T15:42:00.002+01:00

Consumers who fly regularly around Europe love Michael O’Leary, the loud-mouthed CEO of Ryanair, the largest airline in Europe. Low cost travel is with us as a result of Ryanair cutting costs with relentless pressure on suppliers and airport authorities. Millions who might never fly have done so because of him.
But should we really love him?
Ryanair took full advantage and were first out of the blocks when deregulation of European air traffic and the ever-growing European Community (EU) led to a veritable bonanza of flights for seemingly ever-decreasing prices. Net flight charges of €20 are becoming the norm, with some flights across Europe being charged as low as €NIL plus taxes.
The downside - you will have to know which airlines actually fly to Ireland at the time you want to travel. Routes tend to change frequently, airport slots are re-allocated to more profitable routes and many (if not most) flights never show up in conventional booking engines. Many budget airlines aim to cut out the middleman, in this case the travel agent.
The fact that airlines do offer budget flights at extremely low prices does not mean that all flights are actually cheap. It all depends when you book what route and under which promotion. Irish airlines Ryanair and Aer Lingus are a good example - while generally you may get a cheaper flight with Ryanair, it may not be as convenient. And if you mess up your booking (or leave it too late) you may end up paying more than on Aer Lingus.
Both airlines will screw the consumer when it comes to peak demand time. Sporting events, such as the Heineken Cup Final when Munster or Leinster were in the final are gravy time for low cost airlines. And boy do they rub it in when they get the chance! Flights to Cardiff that would cost maybe €50 ordinarily have cost as much as €500 when the Heineken Cup final was played at the Millenium Stadium.
The same goes for mid-term school breaks. Everybody in Ireland wants to get to the overpriced holiday homes they paid for in Spain and the only chance is at the mid term breaks. No chance of €NIL flights then. You would get a package holiday for the same price! The same policy applies at seasonal holiday times like Christmas and Easter.
"No frills and no thrills" airlines is what they should be called. This describes them far better and reflects the motto "You get the service you pay for". No-frills airlines strip down their planes to maximize passenger capacity and minimize weight. At the same time, charges may be incurred for things many air travelers take for granted. Starting with check-in luggage and ending with your cup of in-flight coffee. Ryanair are now threatening to charge for going for a pee on the plane!
Boldly advertised "Free Flights!" rank alongside free lunches - there generally is no such thing. The same realization hits most people once they are actually charged quite more than nothing for their free flights.
The problem lies with the legality to put the net flight price into ads, a practice that confuses passengers to no end. You have to be aware that most airlines do not quote the price you effectively pay for your flight. There are nearly always hidden extras.
Net prices shown in airline ads are exactly the price you pay to the airline for flying you from A to B. Which is far less than your flight will cost you. Before you take off the government will lighten your purse with assorted taxes. Then the airport will ask you for a contribution to their running costs. All this easily works out at €20 per flight. The cost of the flight advertised for €10 already has trebled.
But airlines themselves also like to dig into your pocket. You have luggage? Seat reservation or a "Priority Boarding Request? That will be €10 thank you. Using a credit card? Direct debit? Golf clubs? - cheaper to buy a set when you get there! All this will cost you extra! Turning up with an over weight bag will cost you more than the flight itself in extra fees.
Whilst Michael O’Leary certainly pioneered low cost flying for the masses, he is no angel for the consumer. The old business trick of sucking them in with rock bottom prices, getting them hooked and then screwing them applies very much to O’Leary.

Let the buyer beware!

Brownie Points With Good Value

2009-09-18T16:14:00.002+01:00

It was our wedding anniversary the other day. She is still with me after all these years. As Paul Simon sings, she must be “still crazy after all these years”
Anyway, there is still a bit of romance left in this old dog, so I whisked her off down to County Wicklow. The weather was nice and when the sun shines, Wicklow is indeed a stunning county.
We stayed at Tuilfarris House and Golf Club near Blessington, set on the Blessington Lakes in a gorgeous location. A superb golf course sweeps down to the lakes and provides a glorious backdrop of lake and mountains. It is easy to be distracted by the wonderful scenery. We played a round of golf on this championship course for €30. Two years ago, a round of golf here cost €125 and there was a line to book such was the popularity of the place.
A double room with bed and breakfast and dinner cost an astonishing low price of €98. The dinner we had was absolutely superb and was worth the €98 alone. Two years ago, it would have cost you that, but when you consider the entire package at such prices, it brings home the difficulty that hotels in Ireland are having in these unprecedented times of economic implosion.

When we had it good, we fleeced the tourists and now they don’t come anymore, it seems. Good value is arriving too late and only arriving because of price resistance by the consumer. Nobody could make money at the prices above – they are just meeting overheads to stay alive.
A combination of greed by all in the tourist sector during the boom times and both dollar and sterling exchange rates going against the euro made Ireland a very expensive place to take a vacation.
We quickly got a reputation as being expensive and that will stick, even with the good value available at present. It takes years to build a reputation in any walk of life but just one day to destroy it. And that is what Ireland has very effectively done; destroyed our reputation for value and friendly service with greed and arrogance in the good times.
It will take a long, long time to restore it, if ever.
In the meantime, if you can afford it take advantage of the value on offer.
My other half was overcome by the quality of everything at Tulfarris.

Needless to say, I didn’t tell her the price of the treat – I need the brownie points for later in the year!
Enough said!

Robbed Blind for a Bathroom

2009-09-17T09:51:00.001+01:00

We were fleeced in the good old days of the Celtic Tiger. Now that we are in the middle of the greatest recession/depression – call it what you like- you get to see how in most categories of consumer buying, we got screwed by businesses and tradesmen.

The worst offenders were those selling services and equipment in the home. During the boom, we had the bad timing to decide to do up our bathroom. The one we had was ancient and I had to agree with missus that for once she was right about spending some money on the room.
We had one awful coloured bathroom suites that were all the rage in eighties when we built our house. It was a tacky green colour and when I look at it now I wonder how in Gods name we ever bought it.
But of course, they were all the rage then so you went with the flow. Hindsight is a wonderful thing.
Any way we still had some of the SSIA money saved up so off we went to one of these retail parks that had everything for the home. There were all sorts of big stores offering tiles, furniture, kitchens, hot tubs and garden equipment. And, of course, bathrooms.

This was in 2006 and we didn’t know then that we were at the very peak of the boom. You could hardly get into any of the stores such were the crowds.
Plastic was being flashed here, there and everywhere. Nobody was actually paying any cash – everything was going on the card. We felt like doddery fools with our humble cheque-book.

It being the house, herself had first call on what she wanted. There were all sorts of glossy stuff, such as free-standing baths, whirlpool baths and an incredible range of must-have accessories. And all in white, thank God. No more dazzling colours to fight over, at least
Of course, there was the price to fight over. I couldn’t believe the prices they were charging. Crazy money, away in excess of our budget!
We tried a few more places but they were all the same. It seemed to me that a cartel was in operation between them all. And you could forget about negotiation – there was none, simple as that. That’s the price, take it or leave it you were told by a snotty guy in a suit who rolled his eyes to Heaven if we mentioned looking at something cheaper.

That same guy is today walking the streets in ragged clothes which is a small consolation to us for the ridiculous price we ended up paying for our new bathroom suite.
The store we bough this suite is now long closed – I guess the owner is in the Caribbean- and whilst our bathroom looks lovely and the missus is very contented, it pains me when I walk by a bathroom store now and see the same suite at a fraction of the price we paid.

That is just a small example of the outrageous profiteering that went in the last crazy decade. At least we only bought a bathroom, not a house like so many unfortunate others.
It was all mad stuff, wasn’t it?
We lost the run of ourselves completely, like we were all in a gold rush. Madness!

Ah well, I think I’ll just go and have a warm bath to get rid of the stress of thinking about the money we lost during those crazy years!

Shopping Mad!!

2009-09-16T15:41:00.003+01:00

We went shopping in Dublin today, looking for presents and bits and bobs for an upcoming wedding what with the price of every thing down in this depression we are having. I was dragged along of course – for the simple reason I won’t allow the wife a credit card. She gets over this by bring me

I could not believe my eyes in what I was seeing in Grafton Street. Every store whether they were selling clothes, shoes or mobile phones had a sale on!
The streets were thronged with people, but the actual shops seemed to be barely busy. A lot of window shopping was going on but not much buying.
As the shops were so generous in offering massive discounts, we decided to check out a kitchen place recommended to us by a friend.
This place are the agents for a lot of the top European brands that manufacture kitchens and appliances.

Their show room is fantastic. I think my wife went into a sort of kitchen love trance when she entered their exquisite showrooms. They do the Siematic range of kitchens, a German brand that she has over years mentioned occasionally with awe.
Now here we were looking at the latest and most up to date of their range called the Siematic S1, which is about the equivalent of a Ferrari 599 when kitchen are compared to cars!
The damn thing nearly costs as much as well!

Whilst herself was lost in a world of her own taking in all the features of this wonder piece of work, I was clutching my wallet closer to my heart and hoping that the smooth talking salesman pointing out the merits to the gasps of my wife would go away and let sanity return.

That is the worst thing about these fancy showrooms. Everything is glistening and sparkling, smooth and stylish; all designed to turns the heads of potential punters. In places like these, reason abandons you.
Suddenly, you are piecing together the numbers and creating the most optimistic scenario, whereby you could actually see your way to paying for this kitchen!

The sales man proffers his card and promises a very generous finance deal arranged in house instead of us having to deal with pesky banks who will not now lend money for any reason.

We eventually get out of the place, my wife drunk with vivid imagery of this wonderful piece of engineering fitted into our humble home.
It takes a while for the dust to settle in situations like this. Reality sweeps over you like a cold shower after a sauna. As we journeyed home, our present buying complete, the silence of my wife was the indicator of reality setting in.

I am exactly the same walking out of a fancy car showroom, puffed up with possibilities but knowing that the dream of that Ferrari will never be realized. I empathised with her so I remained silent, letting logic take command of her thinking, which it inevitably did after about an hour.

We all have dreams of beautiful non-attainable material things in our life. Taking a look and stepping a little closer to that dream is no harm. For a little while, your life enters a fantasy place but at over €150,000, I think the Siematic SI is just that.
It offers to make your dreams come through but says nothing about the nightmares!

We are going to try IKEA next!

Well, you have to cut the cloth to the measure and all that!

Scary

2009-01-29T15:40:00.000Z

"Owners of capital will stimulate the working class to buy more and more of expensive goods, houses and technology, pushing them to take more and more expensive credits, until their debt becomes unbearable. The unpaid debt will lead to bankruptcy of banks, which will have to be nationalised, and the State will have to take the road which will eventually lead to communism"

Who said this?

Was it Barack Obama two years ago as he began his presidential campaign?
No, it wasn’t.

Perhaps it was Fidel Castro, some ten years ago, as he predicted with eerie certainty the mess that the greedy capitalist economy would end up in if it didn’t mend its ways
No, wrong again.

It had to be Putin five years ago when the Russian leader gave that powerful speech at the G8 summit that had the media scrambling to describe him as madman for such crazy visions and accusing him of trying to divide the world into the prehistoric set-up that existed when Brezhnev was in power in the seventies.
No definitely not, but at least you are in the right country.

It was Karl Marx, Das Kapital, 1867!

Scary isn’t it?

The Four Marys

2009-01-26T13:37:00.000Z

Decades ago, there was a series of books written by Enid Blyton, chronicling the adventures of the Four Marys, four girls at middle-class English boarding school who got up to all sorts of hair raising adventures. Unlike today and probably in real life then as well, there were no drugs or sex involved – just crazy episodes like midnight picnics and episodes of solving some very complex mysteries.
In Ireland, in the reformatory school known as the Government, we have our own Four Marys - Coughlan, Hanafin, Harney and Wallace. In years to come no doubt, books will be written about them but at this stage the content and tone of those books is unknown, other than it will not be kind.
First of all, we have city slicker Mary Hanafin, who comes from a Fianna Fail dynasty of political heavyweights who because they were too heavy to stand, sat on their arse for generations doing nothing. One day Thin Mary, as she is called, will probably grow up to be a teacher for she has all the attributes for the job. For now, she is not even the head prefect much to her annoyance as she feels superior to the other Marys and wastes little opportunity in letting them know it. Preaching down to others in a superior South Dublin manner is a dominating characteristic. She dresses in prim outfits that clearly indicate her future calling, though of course they are designer label. She dismisses any talk of boys that seem to be the main conversation of her classmates. She cringes at the sight of a drawing of a penis in biology class as all the other girls giggle. When she learns that this yoke can enlarge and will want to penetrate her vagina, she gets sick and vows to be a virgin for the rest of her life.
Then we have head prefect, Mary Coughlan from Donegal, the real culchie in the quartet. Known as Thick Mary, she is also the most dim-witted and constantly fails to perform in crucial exams. Her teachers are worried about what will become of her when she goes out into the real world. In an effort to bring her up to scratch with the rest of the class, they made her prefect much to the annoyance of other better-qualified candidates in the class. It appears to be of little success as she is still prone to cringe-inducing gaffes. This being Dublin in 2009 and not England in the 1970s, the other girls are no innocents abroad. They openly accuse Mary of giving blows-jobs to the headmaster, as they contend with much justification that there is no other way she would have got the job. Mary, who dresses in a weird collection of homespun garments from the cottages of Donegal, has as much sex appeal as Nell Mc Cafferty in the nude, claims she hasn’t got a notion of what a blowjob is and said that the headmaster only asked her to crawl in under his desk to find his pencil.
Fat Mary Harney is third in the pecking order. A fat, cruel and deceitful girl, she knows all about blowjobs. She gets them when on holidays in America with her family. Luckily, they pay for them at $400 a pop or she would never know any sexual intimacy. Mary is a curiously unattractive girl, not unlike a giant version of the penguin that appears in the Guinness ad. Like the penguin who seeks the pub that serves Guinness and overcomes the dangerous obstacles to get there, she goes through a hysterical series of mishaps while attempting to achieve her goal at school. Eventually, like the penguin, which arrives at the pub only to find that he has no money to pay for the pints, Mary prepares so diligently for the exam only to show up on the day with no pencil. Angrily she grabs a pencil from another girl and tells her to fuck off when the classmate pleads that she will die if she cannot do her exam. Fat Mary is devoid of compassion and will do anything underhand to get her way no matter the cost to others in less fortunate positions.

Mary “Dope” Wallace is the fourth Mary. She is fat and ugly with a very low IQ and is in the special needs section of the class. She is from County Meath. Enough said!

God help Ireland if the Four Marys leave school and go into politics!

INCEST IS BEST AT RTE!

2009-01-18T13:16:00.000Z

Wouldn’t that shower of assholes in RTE just get on your wick? I had the misfortune of being driven to watching some TV over the last few weeks due to being temporarily incapacitated.
Not being a one to watch much television, apart from the news - and that is so bad that I now no longer look at it for fear of the attraction of the mental home or the local river – I found myself stuck looking at what passes for entertainment on RTE.
If the Government is serious about making cuts, as it should be, given the scale of the crisis we are in, then the first thing to go should be RTE. I don’t know how much money is collected from the licence fee each year but I imagine it is a hefty few dozen million.

The government should continue to collect it and allocate it towards the various needy institutions that are having their budget cut because of the financial crisis. Why not give it to the HSE so that they could implement the cervical cancer vaccine programme for 12-year old girls, which that heartless bitch of a Mary Harney cut recently. That only cost €10 million per annum. The TV licence fees bring in much more than that.
Dispense with idiots such as Pat Kenny, Gerry Ryan, and Ryan Turbidy etc. and spend the money on something that will save lives instead of puffing the egos of publicity craving presenters.
RTE has become an incestuous organization, full of its own importance whilst at the same time being a moral coward, pandering to the views of its left/right stance of producers and presenters.
Take the so-called chat shows for instance. The Late Late Show, presented by that insufferable egotistical dope of a Pat Kenny, boasts of being the longest running chat- show in the world. RTE describe it as light entertainment.
Light is the word indeed! It should be set alight along with the presenter and most of the guests!
That asshole Kenny would make anyone cringe at his lack of interviewing skills. The nation should be embarrassed by having this clown loose on the airwaves and destroying what little is left of the reputation of the country. If you put up a cardboard cutout of Kenny in place of the real yoke, there would be a better conversation with the guests.
There are better discussions about current affairs in the recreation room of the National Centre of the Deaf, Dumb and Blind.
Of course, most of Kenny’s guests are other RTE presenters pushing their own show or book. You might as well be in the RTE canteen such is the level of promotion by one egotist of another egotists work. Various Z-listers being made famous by X-lister presenters.
Charley Bird was on the show some weeks back about moving to America to the RTE correspondent over there. Jesus, you’d think that with the fawning interview by Kenny that he was going to Obama’s right hand man.
The eejit wasn’t a week in the place when he brought down a plane in the Hudson River. I seen the headline on RTE myself; “Bird causes plane to crash in New York river”. The fucker hasn’t even reached Washington yet and he is causing mayhem.

Turbidy Tonight is another piece of shite on a Saturday night. This guy is not a person at all. He is a skeleton of a child with a pinstripe suit hanging off him and a head on top found in the lost section of the RTE props department. He is radio controlled to make fast movements and talk fast garbage by some production assistant in the background who demands to be fed a kilo of cocaine before he will manipulate the controls that makes Turbody appear like…. well, like a skeleton on coke.
He does the usual incestuous interviews with other RTE stools, such as that insufferable Twink one, (or does she call herself Adele King now?).
She used to be a great ride, but could you imagine listening to her next morning, whining and moaning on your shoulder; “that bastard of a David Agnew, the dirty rotten fucker, married to me and riding a one young enough to be his daughter. The two-faced cunt!” (See uTube)
That is what she does for a living, not riding, but moaning and whining and appearing on shitty shows like Turbidy promoting shitty shows like her own.
Anyway, I am well again and thank God, I don’t have to watch the drivel produced with all the million we pay to RTE.
Truly, your health is your wealth.

The Quangos are quivering!

2009-01-13T22:08:00.000Z

Just two weeks into January 2009 and reality is starting to bite in the various hiding holes of those lazy, incompetent public servants who staff the so-called Quangos. These are Non-Governmental-Organizations (NGO’s) appointed as advisers to the advisers, who then advise the more senior advisers to hire outside consultants to further advise on the very complex matters that they deal with every day, such as who is responsible for changing the bog roll in the Society of the Disenchanted Public Guardians. Such pressure! And, importance.
So much to do and so much more time and money to do it.
Well, your days are numbered: your time is up.
An Bord Snip, (great moniker) chaired by Colm Mc Carthy, a man noted for not taking any shit (so no need for bog paper in above organization, then) is on the march.
His brief is to snip the crazy and unnecessary costs incurred by the self-serving, loathsome, arse-licking, low-life species that occupy the boards of these quangos.
Appointed by ministers or civil servant mandarins as a reward for obscure services ranging from the ability to be loud and pontificating in Doheny and Nesbitts, or the more important task of giving a damn good blow-job to the frustrated Junior Minister every Tuesday to relax him before he answered a question in the Dail, these people extracted millions and millions from the system in the last decade.
The good news now is that they are all doomed. No more fancy perks, un-vouched expenses, free facials. Back on the mean streets the whole fecking lot of you! Lie down with that beggar there and share a few snots! Now you know what a recession means!
But will we be able to deal with the awful reality that somehow the country will have to survive without The Organization for Tattoos on Big Dicks, Fitzwilliam Sq, Dublin 2.
Disaster of course strikes with the imminent closure of the National Hair Lice Assessment Board, Merrion Street, Dublin 2. It is such a shock. Makes the closure of Dell resemble a laundrette closing down really, doesn’t it?
In the IFSC, when word reached them that McCarthy was on his way, all the staff of The Central Board of Financial Aid for Deceased Persons, took the decision collectively to jump from the top of the IFSC.
The shame was too much for them. Cleverly, though, they filled out their own forms for aid to help them on their way as their last act. Ha! Ha! They had the last laugh on McCarthy. It gave them a great feeling of peace as they soared through the air into the bowels of the Liffey.
More next week on the sheer terror that is sweeping through the boardrooms of the Quangos as Mc Carthy stalks the streets of Dublin with his huge scissors.
Who is next? Was that a scream I heard in the distant darkness? Or, was it the Junior Minister getting his last ever blow job?
Truly, McCarthy you have no mercy in your bones at all!

CART BEFORE HORSE IN IRELAND

2009-01-10T20:14:00.000Z

Well, here we at the end of another week of carnage in the in the Irish jobs market. As predicted here and everywhere else twelve months ago, Dell walked this week, shedding 1900 direct jobs in Limerick with another possible 10,000 jobs in service providers that now longer have Dell with which to provide a service. That is on top of the thousands of other jobs that have quietly disappeared since last Monday over all sectors of Irish business without any fanfare. We are now losing 5,000 jobs per week – per week!
We have the Government agencies making the usual “task force for Limerick” bullshit statements as though as though a cavalcade of armed and dangerous job-creators would hit the city on Monday and replace 12,000 jobs before the end of the month – no questions asked! Mary “Dopey” Coughlan will spearhead the attack in one of her more insane outfits and all will be well.
Whom in Gods name do we all think we are fooling?
What company in its right mind - from any country- would consider locating in Ireland when you see what they have to put up with in terms of their cost base?
We have killed the goose that laid the golden egg. Greed has killed it – greed from government, workers, suppliers, local authorities, union bosses, company bosses, bankers, lawyers etc., etc. (Insert your own segment)
We have come through fifteen years of a property boom, not an economic boom.
That property boom has destroyed the cost base of the real economy – the one that actually makes things, products, tools, computers, food and drinks - real items exported for purposeful use.
The profits of the artificial property boom were funnelled into such magic creations as derivatives swaps, CFD’s, EFTs and other such financial products traded between small minorities of the economic partners. Very little went into real creation of structures and facilities to deal with the down turn, which inevitably would come just as day follows night.
The government long ago gave up the fight against rising costs. Sweetheart deals between unions and a weak employer’s body, IBEC, meant cost of labour in all industries went through the roof. Forklift drivers in Coca Cola were taking home a €1000 a week five years ago. Anybody with a truck licence could walk onto a building site five years and command a €1000 for a 39-hour working week. Cleaners were driving into Waterford Glass in BMWs – new BMWs, not the crappy 15-year old ones that you would see the Polish workers driving.
Bertie Ahern declared the pay talks a resounding success as crazy rises were awarded. All is well, he cried, as he struggled to walk to his car because of the buggering he got from the unions. Most rapes go unreported – a press release about this one was sent to the Rape Crisis Centre by courier.

Whilst taking in vast amounts of taxes through the front door during the boom, the government just threw it out the back door to the public service monolith, pet projects and criminal waste. They might as well have set fire to it all. They did set fire to it. There are little or no benefits evident from the boom by which we might attract business into Ireland.
We laughably talk about attracting high-end industry when we dismally produce graduates more interested in media studies than science or engineering. And even if we had the graduates to offer to the corporate visitors, how will they run their state-of-the-art businesses when our infrastructure is of third-world standard.
The most important item of infrastructure, (no, not Dundrum Shopping Centre!) a decent broadband system, is critical to attracting industry to Ireland. We have ignored the development of this vital tool to business to the eternal shame of our politicians and so-called policy thinkers. We are left with a country bereft of the most basic requirement of any industry considering locating in Ireland.
The IDA will talk the big talk in the corporate boardrooms of the USA and the Far East, but the reality is that without proper broadband capacity, the company jets will fly over Ireland to better places with lower cost and modern infrastructure.
They will not land in Ireland because they can’t.
Without broadband development, we built the glossy airport terminal but forgot the bloody runway!

The Brotherhood will eat dirt yet!

2009-01-08T09:33:00.000Z

God created man, so we are told. And when God created man, he ensured that we came upon earth with many flaws. Why He done this we are not sure but it will explain all in the next life, the Bible assures us.
What I cannot understand is the reason for this. Why not explain it to us in this life? Then we might be able to something about those defects we all have. We could try to fix them by some means perhaps and arrive up to Him in a bit better state than he deposited us here.
We all have flaws, some in amount more than others have, some with very few but what they have are seriously lethal flaws. Some are murderers, thieves and rapists (very bad); some are alcoholics or drug addicts (not so bad) and then some are members of trade unions (the worst).
Nowhere is the flaws and deeply ingrained, twisted mentality that refuses to recognise even partially such flaws more evident than in Irish trade union members. The brotherhood is a deeply troubled species that nature should have long made extinct.
The country is currently in meltdown, the Government coffers are empty, the private companies are going to the wall but the unions want the bloody rises that they extracted from Bertie Ahern two years ago when times were supposedly good.
For the last fifteen years, the stuffed union piglets sucked at the teats of large corporate Ireland sow, bleeding the udder dry. Not content with that they then embarked on attacking the tiny incapable sows of the everyday small businesses of Ireland until they too succumbed to their insatiable desire.
Now there are no sows left in Ireland but the greedy union piglets still want feeding.
In fact, they fed so well throughout the Celtic Tiger days that they have all grown beards. All that nutrition has made the union piglet leaders hairy. It also made them dumb!
The party is over and they are in denial. They want a 6% rise when inflation is at practically zero. They are the highest paid workers on average in all sectors in Europe and they are still not happy. They killed the Golden Goose or should that be the Platinum Sow? Nobody wants to locate a business in Ireland any more. Irish entrepreneurs now build business abroad where they are welcomed by open minded and sensible workers, devoid of the farcical union domination of industry in Ireland.
I have news for you deeply flawed animals. You fools and your minions are about to get a dose of reality. Ireland is closed for business. You greedy bastards pulled the shutters down and now your cosseted life is over. Not that is any consolation for the businesses you ruined. But those people who actually kept you in luxury will rise again for they are made of resilient stuff. And when they do, you will have no part of it. You will starve or do as the pig does when faced with such a situation.
The pig is the only animal in the world that when hungry will eat his own shit. Have a nice time lads. The beards will probably help.
And when ye all eventually die off, there a fellow up behind where God sits, with a big fork, a big tail and a very big burning furnace into which he will feck the whole lot of you!
So the bible says anyway.

2009 predictions for Ireland

2009-01-01T21:02:00.000Z

The New Year is here and we don’t know whether to laugh or cry, celebrate or mourn. We in Ireland wave goodbye to 2008 with all of its depressing lows only in the certain knowledge that 2009 will be much worse. This time next year 2008 will seem like a great year.
The calamities of 2008 are the foundation stone of what lies ahead. Unfortunately, the same shower of fools and incompetents that supposedly run this country are the link between the two years. They are still in power – that’s the only link - and one which most of us would like to sever.
The administration of the country has been exposed for what it is; incompetent, corrupt and festooned with a golden circle of bankers, bureaucrats and politicians all intertwined in the business of extracting the fattest farthing from the most hapless victims and in doing so condemning the country to a depression unlike we have ever seen.
Greed was the common denominator of those in power and those with the money. Our Government is not possessed of a decent negotiator to look the banks in the eye when trying to rescue them. The banks got their guarantees and re-capitalized on their very generous terms. They laughed up their sleeves coming out of meetings with Cowen and Cowards Unlimited (CCU).
At this time, Ireland makes Haiti look positively democratic and corruption- free. CCU is happy to allow the banks walk all over them and in order to pay for it they deny 12-year old girls a miracle cervical cancer vaccine that would cost €10 million.
So what is the future? Well, how about this scenario, not in any chronological order?
CCU are shafted, partly from within, in the aftermath of the June local Elections in which support for Fianna Fail disintegrates. In the General election that follows, Fine Gael become the largest political party, mainly for the reason that they possess the most talented economist and Finance Minister in Richard Bruton, and having him in that position is the only reason that leader Enda Kenny becomes Taoiseach. They manage to form a Government with the aid of defected Fianna Failers and loose independents.
Not that this changes anything.
By June, 650,000 are on the dole, Civil Service worker are refusing to do anything because they have had to take pay cuts. Nobody notices this.
The IMF is in control of the country. The medical service has collapsed. Foreign aid from Latvia and Poland help with food supplies. Zimbabwe sends medical supplies. Houses fall to an average of €1.23 each with those in the leafier Dublin suburbs fetching €2.50.
Massive emigration means that countries such as Australia introduce a ban on Irish entering the country. We go to Russia instead where we are welcomed and put to work at menial tasks in return for food and shelter. As a quid pro quo, Russia takes over Ireland and uses it as site for nuclear missile launchers.
By then it is Christmas and we all write to Santa Claus.
Happy New Year!

LAUREL AND HARDY COUNTRY!

2008-12-20T22:21:00.001Z

If you have the good fortune to live outside this show they call Ireland, you must be laughing. You should be grateful as well, in between your hysterical shrieking. Those of us living here are not amused.

This week we landed ourselves in another fine mess. Or rather, the banks did by putting on their version of the Laurel and Hardy Show.

We all know that Ireland Inc is a small side street theatre compared to the bigger Broadway productions. Everybody knows everybody who is anybody in this country. Business conducts itself in an incestuous manner really.

This week, Sean Fitzpatrick, chairman and former chief executive of Anglo Irish Bank, was found to have fooled the auditors for the last eight years by under-declaring his director loans from his own bank. At the time of the annual audit, he would simply transfer his loans to Irish Nationwide Building Society and when the auditors had completed their work and presented the accounts, he would merely transfer it back. Some thing like a corner-shop owner camouflaging from the auditors the fact that he eat too many of the Jelly Beans himself by adjusting the stock figures, you might think.

No quite so, I'm afraid.

Our esteemed Anglo banker was in hock to his own bank to the tune of €80million plus, not something you'd want made public. Questions might be asked and that wouldn't reflect well on the gung-ho image of the proactive Anglo-Irish Bank, not to mention the bould Seanie himself. The whole embarrassing show is only beginning as we write.

Sean promptly resigned when the writing was on the wall and his chief executive, David Drumm, followed him.

In the financial industry stretched parameter, the crime was being found out. The action wasn't illegal we were assured. It was unethical, but not illegal.

Shades of Roddy Molloy stating that he was entitled to first-class travel as head FAS. Entitled, no less? Entitled by whom?

Seanie Fitz is the epitome of the image of the financial sector; “we rule the world and we couldn't give a damn about the little people” attitude.

The kings of the grey suit screw all before them. Big swinging dicks will close little businesses by not giving them an overdraft of €5,000 but will lend billions to their buddies in the incestuous world in which they operate.

The Financial Regulator, a supposedly independent monitoring authority, didn't do its job - it knew about Fitzpatrick's scam since January 2008, perhaps it knew it all along for all we know - and told nobody.

The Central Bank is supposed to be wary of this sort of activity and either about it and done nothing - a crime - or didn't know about it should have which is incompetence. Either way, the banks have fooled the people, the Government, their auditors and the regulatory authorities.

It all adds up to a farcical production not quite worthy of playing Broadway (Wall Street has cornered that end of the market) but definitely fit for Las Vegas where gambling with other peoples money is an industry.

Once again, the greedy evil bastards that are bankers have shamed the country and made us look like Laurel and Hardy in the eyes of the world.

LESSONS LEARNED THE HARD WAY

2008-12-18T12:15:00.001Z

Where will it all end for little old Ireland?
Where could you possibly begin to project where it will all end?
Well, one could take a quick look at our northerly neighbour, Iceland, and you might gain some indication of the destination that the descending road we are on will take us. It is a town called the IMF.
The International Monetary Fund is the last port of call for bankrupt countries. You don’t call them however; they march in on you without as much as word of greeting.
The IMF is in local terms the equivalent of the court sheriff calling. The IMF will let you keep the milk and perishable foods needed for your family but they will take the fridge.
Iceland is a country of 300,000 people. In the last seven years, they prospered on being a centre for international financial trade. Previously they were fishermen. They made money out of paper, sometimes quite literally. Like the IFSC in Dublin, they provided a compliant tax and lax regulatory regime allowing vast amounts of money flow through their systems whilst reaping a fortune in fees and commissions. In a country with such a small population, it did not take long for the effects to permeate all the way down the food chain.
Like Ireland, Iceland grew prosperous and arrogant. House prices climbed through the roof making accidental millionaires out of ordinary folk , money from all over the world flowed in to the coffers of the banks, (including billions from the English County Councils), attracted by the high interest rates offered. Shops sold out of expensive stock. Fancy cars never seen before, except on television, soon jammed the streets of Reykjavik. New retail outlets opened up to gobble up the sudden stream of cash in the system. Igloos melted with the heat of all this frantic activity.
The Icelandic banks, strengthened by all this cash, puffed out their tiny chests and decided to take on the world. They bought other banks and financial institutions in countries throughout the world, including Ireland (Merrion Stockbrokers).
Remember, this is a country roughly the size of Blanchardstown in population and a little bigger than Ireland in size.
Like the Irish on the property scene, the Icelanders punched away above their weight in the international financial boxing arena. They were feared wherever they entered a country, targeting banks and stock broking institutions with relish.
Sadly, however, reality hit home when the credit crunch bit worldwide. When the big boys that dominated the world for a century like Lehman Brothers fell, what hope had our vastly leveraged Icelandic raiders? Their strength was based on the high share price of the bank and the strong capital ratio brought about because of insanely high interest rates paid to attract international depositors.
When international depositors took fright at what was happening worldwide and pulled their money back to their own countries that guaranteed the deposits, the house of cards that was the Icelandic financial giant tumbled to the ground. The IMF now runs Iceland with the cold authority of a Nazi concentration camp commander.
Warren Buffett, that great American investor, is fond of saying that you only know who is swimming naked when the tide goes out.
Back home in Ireland, the tide is retreating fast. Some obvious candidates are naked, but so too are some very surprising ones. We are in the middle a financial tsunami not known in our history. The government, paralysed by inertia and incompetence, dither and pretend it will be alright on the night. We await our fate, rather than being proactive and trying to input some direction to it.
Conditions are perfect. The IMF is on the way!

Petty Politics

2008-12-08T12:44:00.000Z

There have been many repercussions from the various daft and ill-thought Budget proposals, which were enacted in the Finance Bill published last week.
Such was the apparent haste in dreaming up the cuts that they needed to implement to shore up the nations finances, that Brian Lenehan had to row back on many of the ideas and scrap some altogether.
What we got was a hotch–potch of ridiculous cost cutting measure with all the imagination of a lump of wood. Far from stimulating the economy, these brainless measures will stifle the country into a depression.
We could talk all day about the gang of idiots that now run this country but let us stick to one item that was formalised into the Finance Bill last week despite much protest.
The Government will save €10 million on not distributing cervical cancer vaccines to girls from 12-year old upwards. The Minister for Health, Mary Harney had committed to introducing this measure before the Budget. She made a very compelling case at that time for the need to do this. It is estimated by the medical profession that two in ten women will get cervical cancer in their lifetime. These victims will all die from it; there is no cure or lasting treatment for this virulent form of cancer.
The wonderful medical breakthrough in inventing this vaccine and allowing it to be administered to young girls would have saved thousands of lives in the future. Not alone that but the agony of kids and partners losing a loved mother would spared to so many more.
How dare Mary Harney allow this to happen? A miserable €10m, half the weekly budget of that useless body, FAS.
Of course, Harney was well treated by those assholes in that particular quango, including her husband, Brian Geogheon, who was once head of this so-called organization. Blow jobs in Florida, private jets and limos to ferry her and her entourage around sort of blinds you to reality. If the little people were suffering, well it was their problem. Let them eat cake. Let them die for the sake of a petty €10 million euro.
As a woman, could she not appreciate what this breakthrough could do for her gender companions throughout Ireland?
Could she not have told the Finance Minister that this was sacred? That it could not to be touched by the unseen mandarins of the Civil Service who were advising him. She let down the women of Ireland in a shameful way. For that, Mary Harney, you deserve only one title – BITCH! Sam Maguire

God help us all!

2008-12-03T09:28:00.000Z

We have been away for a while and look what happens! The country goes down the tube. Is it a coincidence? Did our absence allow those supposedly in charge of the banana republic fall asleep at the wheel?
I think no, somehow. Our degree of influence may extend to getting Obama elected as US president but to achieve anything positive in getting Brian Cowen to run this little country of four million is beyond our realm I fear.
When Cowen was elected Taoiseach this scribe appealed for a chance to allow him show his mettle. He was carried shoulder-high around Clara and happily supped pints for the media. Here was an ordinary guy, just like Bertie, except he had a brain that would be employed for the good of the country, not protecting his political arse in Drumcondra.
Difficult times meant there was little chance of a honeymoon period normally accorded to incoming office holders. We forgave him some early lapses, wondered aloud about Mary Coughlan as his choice of Tainaiste, but left well enough alone for him and his team to get on with it.
Boy, did we get it wrong!
We know there is a world crisis, unprecedented in its force and effect. But, eighteen months ago Ireland was regarded by all and sundry across the world for the healthy position of its finances. We had fifteen good years to shore us up for the rainy day. Batten down the hatches and we’ll get over this hump, we said smugly to ourselves.
Look at us now. My God, look at us now!
Once again, we are the paupers of the world. It was all an illusion. Daggers and mirrors, as Bertie might say. We are penniless. Much worse, we owe a fortune and the perfect storm has erupted over our heads. We never put a penny by for the first rainy that came. We blew the good times.
Tax revenue falling as fast as Biffo drops from 10,000 feet without a parachute, massive rising unemployment, banks closed for business, the consumer not spending (and those who are do it in Newry).
Who is to blame for the disaster?
Bertie, of course! But isn’t hindsight 20/20 vision? On reflection, who was Finance Minister for the last four years when the ground was quietly crumbling beneath our feet?
Biffo the Brain was at the helm of the SS Moneybags Ireland; heading for the rocks, unknown to us, throwing our life savings over the side.
Bertie anointed Cowen as his successor.
Smiling two-faced Bertie was replaced by grumpy straight and Brainy Biffo. Sure, wasn’t the man a genius according to the spin machine?
But now it has emerged that we were duped all along. Grumpy Biffo was plain old Grumpy Biffo. The brain was missing.
The two Brians and Mary now are in charge.
Oh my God!

PARTY NIGHT

2008-09-11T09:46:00.001+01:00

Wouldn’t it be nice to be young again and getting your Junior Cert results? Today the results of the 2008 Junior Certificate we relayed to anxious youngsters countrywide. Tonight there will be celebrations.
The great thing about the Junior Cert is that it is not the end of the world if things do not go right. You have time on your hands to make up for it in the next two years.
They are only a halting post until the real thing-the Leaving Cert- hits you in two years.
So, tonight they celebrate as only teenagers can. Sure, there will be the usual outcries from concerned parents and teachers about bad behaviour on the streets of our cities and towns. There is no doubt that the effect of drink and drugs play havoc this night each year. Garda sources are of the opinion that the Junior Cert students’ post-results behaviour is far worse than their Leaving Cert counterparts are. This is because they reckon that the older students are better able to handle their drink and drugs whereas tonight marks the first big celebration in a teenager’s life. The lack of experience shows and can lead to appalling behaviour.
Nonetheless, we should not deny them their chance to paint the town red (as long as it is not blood).
Of course, they are not supposed to be drinking, but since when did Irish teenagers obey silly little rules like that? Or, publicans turn a blind eye to under-age tipplers.
Look back in envy and remember our own days. Times like this were great and live with you forever. In fact, they become enhanced with sentiment over time.
Tonight, a small percentage of gurriers will cause trouble and tarnish the name of the rest.
But, the rest are the best, so go and enjoy it! You deserve it. If only I could go back again. Ah, well! Where are my slippers, dear?

HURLING – THE GAME OF GIANTS

2008-09-07T16:52:00.000+01:00

This Sunday, the 7th September, sees the mouth-watering prospect of a fantastic All-Ireland Hurling Final between Kilkenny and Waterford. Waterford are in their first All Ireland final in 45 years and Kilkenny are seeking a historic three-in-a-row under manager Brian Cody.
Waterford has had a rags-to-riches season thus far. They controversially parted with their manager, Justin McCarthy early in the season after the championship had commenced. It was widely rumoured that a dressing room rebellion by the players in relation to fitness levels ended the reign of the Cork man. Whatever the reasons, Waterford gave themselves a stick to beat them with their attitude. The appointment of legendary Clare goalkeeper, Davy Fitzgerald, as manager has galvanized the team it would appear. That Fitzgerald is a controversial character in his own right adds to the drama of the occasion. The Clare man is not afraid to speak his mind and in the past has regular brushes with authority both inside and outside his own county.
Brian Cody is a no-nonsense manager who has ruled Kilkenny hurling with an iron fist since appointed seven years ago. His remarkable achievements off the field have mirrored his exploits on the turf. A multi-All Ireland medal winner at every level of the game, a three in a row on Sunday would practically immortalize the man.

In each of the teams are players of pure genius that will make the showdown on Sunday an undoubtedly memorable occasion. Players such as Ken McGrath, Dan Shanahan, and the fiery John Mullane will inspire Waterford. On the Kilkenny team, the peerless Henry Shefflin and Charley Carter rule the roost.

Hurling is one of the great field games of the world. It gets little exposure internationally, yet anybody from abroad who ever sees it played rave about it. The speed and the skill are phenomenal. For amateur players, the level of physicality and fitness is hard to fathom.
As a game it seems made for the American market. It would make all their muscular games seem like tiddlywinks! NFL football and baseball seem boring by contrast to even a bad hurling game. Ice hockey, reputedly the fastest field game in the world, would pale into insignificance when compared to a junior hurling game.
And yet the GAA seem strangely reluctant to market it in America, the most obvious place to expand the game. Rather, they promote a bastardized version of football against full Aussie Rules players every two years. The series is almost dead because of the consistent violence of the Australian players.
Would it not be wiser to talk to the American associations and TV networks in an effort to spread the gospel of the most fluid ball game there is?
In the meantime, we all look forward to Sunday!

FREE EDUCATION MYTH

2008-09-02T12:13:00.000+01:00

This week thousands of schoolchildren returned with most likely great reluctance to their places of learning at either primary or secondary level. Generally, kids have grave reservations and worries about going back to the classroom. After the summer we had in Ireland this year who could blame them.
However, their concerns are dwarfed by those of their parents who must fund the cost of them getting through the basic education process. In the week that was in it, when calls were made for third-level college fees to be re-introduced, a shiver of fear must have gone through those parents who are struggling just to get their children to the conclusion of second level education.
In 1967, the then Minister of Education, Donnacha O’Malley, introduced the most revolutionary and far-sighted piece of reform in providing free education up to and including Leaving Certificate Level. Later still, third level education fees were abolished. Ireland had, in theory a complete free education system. Tens of thousands of disadvantaged children were allowed the opportunity to avail of education that previously their circumstances prevented. There is no doubt that it changed the Irish society dramatically and beneficially.
Over four decades later, the bold initiative by Donnacha O’Malley has soured for many of the citizens it was designed to benefit.
Today primary and secondary education is free in name only. There are no entrance fees to be paid (unless you opt for the private school route) but there the free element ends.
Thanks to the politicians and mandarins in the Civil Service, Ireland has suffered a huge deficit in education investment in the past twenty years. No account appears to have been taken of the population demographics of the country in considering the need for more classrooms and lower teacher-pupil ratios.
Together with increased immigration during the Celtic Tiger years, the accommodation of primary and secondary pupils and teachers is chaotic. Prefabricated buildings more suited to construction sites are the norm for classrooms in many schools. Investment in education infrastructure seems way down on the priorities of government. If that was the case in the good times, what will it be like now that the economic downturn is upon us?
In order to keep schools running, Boards of Management and Parents Committees are forced to resort to fundraising from the parents of the pupils. Raffles, race nights, monster draws, and poker classics – you name it and they will do it in order to keep the school budget in order, something the funding from the Department of Education will not do.
In addition, parents will receive direct begging letters from the school asking for a “voluntary donation” which then suggests a figure to give. It is as about as voluntary as standing in front of a firing squad.
Add to this the cost of school books- up to €500 at secondary level- uniforms, transport etc., etc. and you soon realize that this is not free education by any means. Hard-pressed families struggle to meet the staggering costs that a large brood of children impose on them when it comes to educating them.
In these troubled times, free education in Ireland does not come cheap!

THE DAY THE TOLL BARRIERS CAME DOWN

2008-09-01T09:05:00.002+01:00

Mark this day, August 29^th 2008. This is the day that the notorious M50 toll bridge lowers its barriers for the last time. Dubliners and commuters should be celebrating as Berliners did in 1989 when the infamous Berlin Wall dividing East and West Berlin was knocked. They should go around to the booths and pull them apart and derive some glee from ripping out equipment that made their daily lives hell.

Not that it is going to make any material difference to the unfortunate motorist from an economic point of view. In fact, with the new e-tolling system billing you from cyberspace, you are likely to be worse off in that regard.

What is new? Screwing the motorist has been a hobby of all governments since the state was formed. Nothing really changes at all.

Do not expect that the demolition of this monstrosity will mean quicker travelling times ahead for unfortunate commuters. Ongoing works on the M50 to upgrade it to three lanes will not be completed until 2010. Inevitably, that will be 2011 or 2012 by which time the capacity of the road will be exceeded just like the original M50.

What is with the public servants we employ in this country? Do they not have some training in forecasting trends? They have a raft of data at their disposal, yet they continually fail to forecast our infrastructure needs in an accurate manner.

The M50 is now effectively an inner relief road for the city of Dublin. Just look at the residential and industrial development outside its boundaries. Despite economic downturns, progress will continue on this type development. Can planners not consult other cities with similar demographics to assess our needs for the future? There has been a suggestion that a new M50 style motorway should start at Drogheda and link to the new M7 at Portlaoise. This makes sense and should be done now, but going on past performance, by the time they get around to it further remedial action will be required.

There are scientific models out there for estimating our requirements for all forms of infrastructure. Those in authority appear to ignore those tools that will provide them with the necessary information to predict future requirements.

Ireland is a past master at reactive remedies to infrastructure problems. You only have to see the devastation that the recent floods caused to realize that none of the meteorology warnings of changing climate had any effect on planners. Against all advice, they allowed residential development on flood plains despite being told over ten years ago that the weather patterns were going to change to what we are now seeing. Sub-standard drainage systems were installed based on existing geological data and not future estimates. A five-year old child familiar with Lego would do better at design and build than the clowns in the public service.

Anyway, back to the Westlink toll bridge. During its existence, it made fortune for its owners, NTR. Not alone was the bridge paid for many times over during its lifetime, but the Government actually paid NTR €650 million to close the tolls. What an absolute farce. NTR continue to operate other tolls throughout the country so their income stream from the hard-pressed motorist will not dry up. Shed no tears for them.

Instead, why don’t motorists take the pleasure of saving NTR demolishing the tollbooths on the M50 by going up over the weekend and burning the lot. It will not change things very much but by God, it would feel good!

THRIFTY IS TRENDY

2008-08-28T11:02:00.002+01:00

How things have changed in Ireland in such a short space of time.

In 1994, the Celtic Tiger started out a whimpering cub, trying to shake off the generations of poverty and lack of confidence. In the next decade, it grew into an animal that devoured all before it.

Confidence went up. The price of houses and wages went up. The cost of credit came down. The availability of it from all financial institutions became easy. Credit card spending became the norm. If you were not in debt then you were a fool became a tag line. Use cheap credit to improve your life was the advice of a new breed of homespun financial advisers, usually with an agenda to pursue.

The dot com melt down of 2000 caused merely a blip in consumer-oriented Ireland. A few shaky months passed and the upward trend continued. Houses soared in price and demand as immigrants fuelled the need for accommodation. New car sales set year on year records. Foreign holidays became a seasonal event and weekends away became a monthly event. The chattering classes outdid each other with their boasts of Mediterranean villas and Manhattan apartments. For God sake, even the window cleaner had a home in Spain!

Come the end of 2005, the first signs of the bubble bursting began to manifest themselves. Interest rates increased every quarter on eight consecutive occasions.

Suddenly the second mortgage on the Irish home to finance the holiday property did not seem such a good idea. Cash flow became tighter as monthly mortgage payments rose. Interest only periods on mortgages came to an end and the reality of paying over twice as much per month to meet capital and interest payments hit home.

The party is over. The new trend is thrift. Vanity has a new overcoat. It is coloured Green. Being forced to do without is dressed up as a virtue in helping to save the planet. All those carbon emissions – how dreadful, lets get a smaller car, dear.

The number of fancy cars repossessed has soared. The number of fancy cars voluntarily and quietly returned to their lenders has soared even more. Shopping in Aldi and Lidl for the upper middle classes is de rigueur. Buying designer clothes in Oxfam is helping the less fortunate, don’t you know. The Hermes bag and Mercedes convertible are vulgar monuments to the excesses of the past.

The thrift trend has permeated down to the working classes. Cheap imported beer bought at service stations is now the alternative to being fleeced in your local pub. Drink irresponsibly at home is the new adage.

Restaurants are feeling the pinch as people suddenly start to use all those fancy appliances in their homes that heretofore were merely for decoration. Aga cookers are actually used to cook food for the family. Who would have thought we would see the day?

Welcome to the new Ireland folks! What next? The D4 set ordering fish n’ chips at Malloccas?

PITY THE POOR IRISH MOTORIST

2008-08-26T09:17:00.001+01:00

Nobody in authority in Ireland appears to have any sympathy for the Irish Motorist (IM). The IM is a much-maligned creature, blasted with venom from every angle. This, despite the fact that many of the people who are openly critical of IMs are in fact IMs themselves.

It is hard to find another country in the developed world that is as anti-car as Ireland.

From the word go the IM is screwed.

First of all, as he or she buys their new car they are fleeced with an illegal tax, known as Vehicle Registration Tax (VRT). This used to be call import duty, which was banned by the EU on the reasonable basis that we are, in effect, one trading entity of 27 countries and there was no need for this antiquated protection tax. Ireland, however, managed to get derogation from this for a period. When this expired, they hit upon the swindle of calling it VRT instead of import duties and ever since are getting away with it, despite the attentions of the watchdogs in Brussels.

Having endured this initial pain, the poor IM is faced with the very high road taxes that pertain in Ireland. Now that the means of calculating these has changed to emissions, the poor IM who has a high-powered car or jeep not alone faces higher taxes but also has to endure the wrath of the mad tree-hugging Greens.

Next up is insurance of said motorcar. Insurance for experienced drivers has fallen considerably since the early years of the decade when, post-9/11 it soared to outrageous levels as the gangsters that masquerade as insurance companies took the opportunity to increase cover on all risks by ridiculous sums.

However, for a young driver in Ireland, there still is this horrendous outlay for them to meet annually. For years, insurance companies convinced the public that they were losing money on motor cover for young drivers. It was only when one large underwriter accidently (no pun intended) broke out the profits it made from each risk category that we realised that in fact they were making massive profits in that sector. Even with the fall in motor insurance for older drivers, the IM pays a much higher premium than those in all of the of the other EU countries.

Once on the road the going gets really tough for the IM. Ireland has third world infrastructure and under the NDP, they are gradually upgrading the road network. Despite getting billions from the EU to do this, it seems that they cannot build 20 kilometres of motorway without putting a toll on it. The commuter who drives to and from Dublin each day is faced with anything up to eight tolls depending on where they work.

Along with the high fuel prices (out of which the Government extracts painful amounts of duty), the unfortunate IM sees their weekly wage decimated by the cost of getting to work.

It is not as though there is much alternative with public transport.

Despite a fortune spent on advertising telling us how they are “getting there”, Irish Rail remains a farcical dinosaur from the semi-state days. It offers the commuter very little by way of a reasonable alternative to driving their car to work. If everybody were suddenly to take the train to get to work tomorrow, there would be chaos. As it is, travelling with Irish Rail makes those over-crowded Indian trains seem very attractive.

Buses offer an alternative, particularly the private operators. Of course, the state owned Bus Eireann uses its muscle to squeeze out private competition. With them, it is a case of using taxpayer’s money to hammer the same taxpayers.

So, spare a thought today for the IM. It may shortly be an endangered species. As it is, the IM is a little-loved creature through no fault of its own.

TEACH THEM ABOUT MONEY

2008-08-19T14:07:00.001+01:00

Continuing the education theme of the last post, one observes that the education system in Ireland, up to completion of secondary level, actually delivers very little knowledge in the ways of life that students will encounter.

Sure, it teaches them the life science subjects but one aspect that is missing is financial education.

All education is designed to inform, first and foremost. After that, it is all about coaching students to pass exams in order to have a career where they earn money to provide them with the essentials of life. Money is the key word here. Money provides the basics, but it also provides the luxuries we all hanker after.

If you take the career graph of a university graduate in any discipline, it is noted that 94% end up in jobs working for somebody else. They move jobs as their career progresses but they still end up working for someone else. Their ability to earn is dictated by the constraints of the career or company they work for.

They have fallen into a trap. It may not be a poverty trap in the sense that they are not begging on the streets, but it is a trap nonetheless, that imposes limits as to what they can earn.

They get married or live with partners and start a family. They need a mortgage to buy a house or find the money to pay the rent. They need a car or maybe two depending on circumstances. They need holiday breaks from a demanding career that stresses them out. All of this costs money; for most ordinary people the career path does not provide enough of it.

From the outside, things may look rosy but scratch the surface and you find people who struggle to meet the bills every week of their life. They save to educate their kids, advise them on finding a safe career that actually sentences them to the very same lifestyle they have.

It is one of a grinding battle to find the money to live within a tight parameter impose by the salaries they earn. They will never be rich. At best they might achieve what is called being comfortable. It doesn’t matter if it is the university professor or a public servant. There is a ceiling on what they can do with their lives because of the income they have.

Avoidance of this could be addressed if money management and money creation was taught at secondary school, instead of what is in effect bookkeeping.

Teaching kids lessons on how be creative in making money will throw up entrepreneurial flair at young age. Some will say that this trait will show itself anyway, but that is only true of a limited number of people who have confidence at that age.

Others without this quality need to be taught that there is more to life than straitjacketed careers of enduring desperation. There is no money to be made in working nine-five for somebody else. You are merely a tool in another’s ambitions. You are deemed useful until you become useless. A grey suit in a faraway place will study a spreadsheet and make a decision that puts you on the dole. You do not have control of your own destiny.

If the education in Ireland had financial self-reliance as a subject on the syllabus for the five years of secondary education, there would emerge from our colleges a body of students with a an entirely different outlook on life and how to deal with the most important part of it.

In fairness, it is not just Ireland that is at fault. The entire western world lacks this facet of knowledge in their education systems.

There is a famous book written about achieving financial independence, called Rich Dad, Poor Dad, by Robert Kiyosaki and Sharon Lecter. It should be compulsory reading on any secondary school syllabus. Secondary education should see their goal as one that sends out students equipped to deal with the world.

Failing that, every parent who cares about their kid’s future should buy it and make them read it! It is worth the price.

WHAT IS THE POINTS?

2008-08-18T10:22:00.000+01:00

This being the silly season where nothing much happens, the media have an annual field day with the Leaving Cert results, which came out this week gone by. Acres of newsprints covered the topic, much of it filler commentary that could have been transcribed from last year’s newspaper editions, such were the similarities.

The same old views are expressed, the same people make the same sane recommendations, the Department of Education agrees to consider them and a year later, nothing has happened.

Tomorrow, the CAO publishes the offer list and students are faced with another harrowing experience as they digest the offers and make a decision, which send them on a life-changing route and maps the future the rest of their lives.

Second – level education is fundamentally flawed in Ireland. By default, this leaves third-level education flawed by the CAO points system.

At secondary level, we are teaching our kids how to pass exams, not educate them. We educate them to score points that will get them their preferred place in college, but not necessarily the course most suitable to their attributes.

Career guidance in our secondary schools is so poor that it is beyond belief. It is merely a nameplate on an office in which sits somebody more intent on achieving high points for the school than the interest of the pupil. That is maybe too much of a generalization and harsh on some good people in the system, but by and large it is a fact.

The Leaving Cert should be abolished, and replaced by a five-year continuous assessment system. There should be an exam in the middle of that period that would define the status of a pupil for the final years of their secondary education.

At present everything is geared towards a two or three-hour exam at the end of five years.

A pupil could be sick on the day, freeze with nerves or have domestic worries that wrecks five years of good work.

Their entire future and life is determined by that exam and that most brief of periods. Mess it up and their career course takes a different direction that may lead them into a dead-end job doing what they don’t like just to make ends meet.

Not alone that, but the points system emanating from those results can ensure that a person who may have an aptitude for the career that the other higher qualified person hates, doesn’t get the opportunity to follow it.

The only way forward is continuous assessment during secondary level education. After that the points system must be altered so that students are not selecting courses in advance of exams as at present. Continuous assessment would ensure that the aptitude of the student is matched to the course rather than the current carriage-before-the-horse situation.

Every year at this time, the same old changes are advocated, and then forgotten about.

It is time to do something – now!

JOY AND SORROW

2008-08-15T09:36:00.002+01:00

Harrington does it again! The remarkable Padraig Harrington won the US PGA Championship at the weekend to bring his golf majors tally to three in thirteen months.

What a man! Undoubtedly, he is the greatest sportsman Ireland has ever produced and that is without what may happen in the decade or more he has left to accumulate more honours. The look of steel in his eyes on Sunday evening as he caught Sergio Garcia on the home straight and crushed him with a superb finish suggests that Harrington has only begun to achieve and is a different and more ruthless warrior than in the past.

Indeed, Tiger would arguably not have lived with him on Sunday last, with his two rounds of 66 posted over a long day after rain delayed the third round on Saturday.

Well done Padraig! You have again lifted the hearts of a nation - again.

The joy of seeing Harrington achieve great things was offset by the reality of life in Ireland now. A mere temporary escape from the doom and gloom pervades throughout Ireland now.

Ireland is frozen, in an economic sense. The headlines scream with the tales woe being felt by everybody from billionaires to paupers. The banks have no money to lend to anybody and they will not even lend to each other. All building has stopped. Developers, sub-contractors, small builders are going out business. The really big developers are being kept alive by the banks who know if they call in their loans that the whole house of cards will collapse.

Fear is the new drug. It is causing people to stop shopping for all but the essentials. Shiny glossy shopping centres and retail parks are spartan places now. Footfall has dramatically decreased. Luxury goods stores are suffering big time. Impulse spending is being curtailed. Restaurants that would normally be impossible to get a booking in for months will now happily seat you if you walk in unannounced. Pubs are empty in rural towns and only half-full in the cities. People are staying at home, drinking cheap beer bought in Aldi or Lidl.

The country is flooded by water, and flooded by empty hotels. All of the lovely places that were built on the back of tax breaks are now finding that their business plan was built on sand. There is a glut of hotels throughout the country, all of them losing money. If you want good value in a break in one of the many 5-star hotels dotted around Ireland, look at the advertisements in the national press. Rooms are half-price. Ring them up and offer less and they will take it. Believe me, they will. The customer is now king, but the customer is now poor and utterly lacking in confidence. Don’t expect much company when you get to your nice hotel. Don’t expect much service either, as many of the staff are sacked and the place is running on a shoestring.

The Americans are staying at home and many of the Irish have no home anymore. Repossession of houses is reaching for the stars and still a long way to go. Crippling readjusted loan- to-value (LTV) criteria on many homes are leaving people facing negative equity and higher mortgage payments that they are simply unable to meet.

None of the above scenarios is the stuff of urban myth. They are the current reality and beneath the generalizations expressed are the horror stories of individual situations. The banks are, as always, the bastards behind all of this. When trouble comes, they are like a moon on a bright night – useless!

Padraig, it is time for you to rise to the occasion again!

BANJAXED IN BEIJING

2008-08-11T09:21:00.000+01:00

The Olympic Games opened in Beijing last week with great fanfare. The Chinese are using this opportunity to show case the country to the world whilst conveniently hiding any evidence of human rights abuses for which the country is notorious.

Indeed there would be no Olympic Games opening in China on the 08/08/08 (they love their eights in China – lucky numbers and all that bull) were it not for human rights abuses.

All the Games stadia were effectively constructed by slave labour, particularly so when it looked like they were not going to make the necessary deadlines. At that point, the Government hauled hundreds of thousands of workers in from the fields to complete the projects on time. People had no choice in the matter. It is estimated by news agencies that hundreds, if not thousands, of workers lost their lives during the preparations for the games. Health and safety issues on building sites were low down on the Chinese authorities’ priorities.

In an overall context, you would wonder about the status of the modern-day Olympic Games. Their value is completely eroded because of the political circuses that have grown around them. They are monuments to power, money, illusion and corporate excesses. The staging of them has broken cities, and even countries – witness Los Angeles and Greece- and the benefits are only short term in relation to the return on the investment. When the Olympics are finished the host city is generally left with an excess of sporting facilities that become dormant and end up a millstone around the neck of the city authorities.

The process of selecting the locations is corrupt in the extreme with well-documented bribery apparent in many of the past choices. And, of course, this corruption extends onto the track where doping scandals have destroyed the reputation of the Olympic Charter.

The amateur ethos is long since departed and with the rewards for success so high, the temptation to use drugs to enhance performances is huge. As soon as more stringent anti-doping measures are put in place, the scientists are inventing methods to defeat them. It has got to the stage that if a world record is broken, then rather than acclaim the athlete, the public wonder how he or she avoided being tested positive. It is a bit like the suspicion in which we hold the husband of the murdered wife: Guilty until proven innocent, in other words.

This year Ireland travelled with a team of 57 athletes. RTE travelled with a team of 93 personnel, none of them athletes and most of them not broadcasters either.

What an utter waste of money in both situations.

Of the 57 athletes, about 14 are there on merit. All of that 14 have only outside chances of making a semi-final, much less win a medal. The balance are there because that arch-dictator, Pat Hickey, head of the OCI in Ireland, needs to justify his position and the money that is given to his organization by us, the taxpayers, through Government funding.

No disrespect to the athletes, but in all honesty, most of them shouldn’t be there and are only embarrassing the country. The much-maligned and oft repeated mantra that the importance of the Olympics is the taking part is historical bullshit. That was fine when all the athletes were actual amateurs and went back to their day jobs when it was over. Now the Olympic Games are a professional event, thinly disguised as adhering to the original principles. The fact that ladies beach volleyball is regarded as a sport worthy of Olympian merit says it all. This is soft-core porn parading as a sport. What next? Olympic lap dancing?

As for RTE, one would be forgiven for thinking that Ireland was a world-class athletic nation, judging by the number of people they have covering the occasion.

I doubt CNN sent as many staff! What do we get in return for this grossly extravagant waste of our money? Colm Murray eating Chinese food as though it was a new found cuisine. He couldn’t even use the chopsticks, for Gods sake! May we suggest he visits Kites, just around the corner from RTE, for authentic Chinese food and they will also teach him how to use the chopsticks?

We also had the cringe-inducing sight of him trying to perform a native dance with a posse of Chinese girls. Is this what we pay our licence fee to see?

A suggestion that would save RTE and us a lot of money: leave them all out there and see how they like it when the Games are over and they are despatched to the paddy fields!

LEARN TO PLAY THE GAME, TV3

2008-08-06T14:39:00.000+01:00

I had the dubious pleasure of watching for the first time on Sunday last the coverage of the All Ireland Football Championship from TV3.

Last year the GAA auctioned the rights to provide coverage of the games in both football and hurling codes. Previously RTE had a monopoly on coverage since time began, with the exception of BBC Northern Ireland, which covered some of the All Ulster clashes.

I sat down to watch the Kerry-Monaghan qualifier clash at Croke Park. Initial impressions were good with sound analysis from the studio team, headed by Matt Cooper.

Cooper and TV3 impressed when handling the Rugby World Cup in 2007 so a similar refreshing take on GAA games was not an overly ambitious aspiration by the viewer.

There the professional presentation unfortunately ended.

The viewers were sold a pup. We had the bland and entirely unsuitable Trevor Welch commentating on the game. Is TV3 living on such a shoestring that they must employ this excuse for a commentator on GAA games as well as soccer matches?

He is bad enough at that pedestrian game because firstly, it is as slow as a caterpillar in the Olympic 100 metres and secondly there are only 22 players to identify instead of 30.

On Sunday, the commentary and camera work was appalling. You would see and hear better at a county final of a Junior Championship, when the committee would ask the least illiterate of its number to do the job for the sake of the club. This lad would then borrow a handy cam from a friend and bellow his way through the game. You can be sure though that he would know his players and those of the opposition. The viewer would be at least entertained.

The Kerry-Monaghan was a great match. Welch and his camera crew were a disaster and an embarrassment. Constant mistakes with identification of players followed by hasty corrections made the viewer cringe. The monotone voice that might as well be commentating on a particularly tragic state funeral, failed to grasp the important scores and events throughout the game. Poor judgement and opinion on pieces of action were constant throughout. It was an utterly incompetent display of commentating made worse by the fact that it was a good game.

Worst of all was the camera work. The panning of the action was atrocious. At one stage, the Monaghan corner forward was bearing down on goal and the camera stayed fixed in close up mode. The viewer was screaming for a wider view to see the context of the play, and the options available to the Monaghan forward. He could have been hurtling towards his own goal for all we knew. The dreadfully inept camera crew must have been on their first assignment after college – that is if they went to college at all.

TV3 paid a lot of money for the rights to broadcast GAA games. They should now go out pay good money to hire decent staff to protect their investment.

STAY AWAY CHARLIE

2008-08-05T11:13:00.001+01:00

Charlie Bird is a national institution in Ireland. He is far from a national treasure but he is getting up there. When he dies, he will probably be deemed as such. RTE describe Charlie as their Special News Correspondent. This gives him licence to turn up on our screens with breaking news on any subject under the sun. It must really piss off other journalists dedicated to politics or crime that when something big happens in their field, Charlie has first handle on it.

Charlie has this breathless urgency about him when reporting. He can make an orderly bus queue sound like a riot; a report on flash flooding generates such excitement that the viewer expects to see Noah and the Ark in the background.

He was in Rome for the election of Pope Benedict and the resulting dispatches put Dan Brown and his TheDe Vinci Code novel in the category of boredom occupied by Becket’s Waiting for Godot. When his sources told him that the odds were on the German to win, we half expected Hitler to appear from the white smoke and announce there was no Heaven.

When his prediction about Cardinal Ratzinger proved correct, Charley delivered his “I told you so” report with all the smug pleasure usually reserved for the doctor who tells a patient they have three months to live and thumps the table in satisfaction when they die on the 90^th day.

We can therefore assume that RTE place great value on the contribution of Charlie to the broadcaster’s archives. So much so that they, in effect, give Charlie a free holiday every year, at the taxpayers expense, to indulge in his hobby of exploring the great rivers of the world.

Last year RTE viewers were treated to Charlie exploring the Amazon. This year it is the Ganges. We can only imagine what all this is costing the national broadcaster, which usually brings us American junk TV.

To listen to Charlie rowing his boat down the Ganges or the Amazon, you would be forgiven for thinking he was the first person to discover the place. Looking suitably dishevelled with a nice beard growth, Charlie tells that he is approaching a place that poses real danger because of the presence of some obscure tribe who like to eat people. He informs us in hushed tones that he is all alone in this wicked place. What about the camera crew Charlie? Cue an advert break and we are left wondering (perhaps even hoping) that we may see Charlie being turned over on a blazing spit after Vodafone tells us about another great deal. But, lo and behold, there is the bould Charlie talking to the cannibalistic natives. They are all smiles and Charlie is making wild gestures when they run into difficulty with translation. They all love Charlie and before he leaves for the next dangerous assignment, they are kissing him and the women are all shaking their exposed breasts at him. Obviously, they get the RTE News out there in the jungle because Charlie is feted like a hero.

The series runs for weeks and we learn very little about the Ganges or Amazon and a whole lot about Charlie. What a load of semi-state institution cobblers. What a waste of money that could be put to better use doing real and relevant documentaries. RTE insults their viewers with a series devoid of any real information. This crap just caters to the whims and desires of their egotistical chief news reporter.

If they really wanted to provide us with in-depth information on both of these great rivers all they had to do was pay a small royalty fee to the National Geographic Channel or Discovery Channel, who both have done many wonderful documentaries about all the great natural wonders of the world.

Instead, tens of thousands of euro are wasted on paying for Charlie’s holiday.

Do us all a favour RTE: leave him out there in the jungle and hope he never comes back.

SARKOZI – THE THREE-MINUTE MAN

2008-07-30T14:43:00.001+01:00

French Prime Minister, Nicolas Sarkozi came to Dublin recently to talk down to the Irish people about their abominable behaviour in rejecting the Lisbon Treaty last month.

Sarkozi is the current boss of the EU by virtue of the fact that France holds the rotating Presidency for the next six months and before his visit was loud in his condemnation of our failure to bend the knee to Brussels.

Thus, he arrived in Dublin for a one-day trip and holed up in the safety of the French Embassy rather Government Buildings, as is normal protocol. In true Napoleonic arrogance, he granted various lobby groups three minutes, (three minutes!) to make their point before being despatched with dismissive Gallic flourish.

We are a bit concerned at this three minute business and wonder is it anything to do with his personal life and his high profile marriage to Italian model Carla Bruni. One of our intrepid spies managed to infiltrate the “speed dating” meetings and reported as follows:

Well Sarkozi came to Ireland this week

and told us all that we must be meek

and adopt the Brussels glorious master plan

or else our little country would be an also-ran.

He stood therein in all his pomp and grace

and told us we were a fucking disgrace.

How dare we turn around and just say No

when he Bonaparte Sarkozi was running the show.

I will give you all three minutes each

To explain this unforgivable breach

and I want a change of heart then

said he rising to all of his four foot ten.

Tell me now that you’ll say Yes

and put an end to my embarrassing distress.

I have no time, I must be home before night

Or else Carla will kick up an awful shite.

That’s why I can only give you three minutes to decide

Because Carla loves, how you say in Ireland,”le ride”

She is very demanding, so hard to satisfy

So many orgasms, but I try, how I try!

She is very tall, six foot two, mon amour

Thirty lovers she said, but I can’t be sure

Standing by her side, her tits are level with my head

One swing from her and I am fucking dead!

So you see the reason I ask for a Yes decree

Will you awkward Irish hoors please agree?

So that to the Elsyee Palace I can swiftly retire

where my Carla lies panting with desire.

Nobody told me politics would be like this

And that you Irish would take the piss

By voting No to the Lisbon Accord

And spot my clever little French fraud.

I must be off, away now from this place.

Sacre bleu, you Irish are an ungrateful race!

We gave you subsidies and the finest of wines

now you thank us by ruining our grand designs.

Bring me now to my private jet

Home to Carla, my very big pet

But first a consolation, a treat I cannot miss

“Le Biffo Big Lips” will give me a kiss!

TWO LOSERS PART COMPANY

2008-07-28T09:45:00.002+01:00

I see that Eircom are to discontinue their sponsorship deal with the League of Ireland/ (LOI) and the Football Association of Ireland (FAI). They have a relationship, which spans nearly a decade, and now finally the penny has dropped with Eircom that the money was being washed down the plughole.

If ever two organizations (an unwise term given that neither could score in a brothel) deserved each other, then these two did.

Eircom is one of the most inefficient of the ex-semi-state companies that could be found. If you had the equivalent of an efficiency Geiger-counter and scanned all the companies in Ireland the beeping would be at a peak when tested against Eircom.

For years, it was known as Telecom Eircom, a public-body monolith that was as lazy and slow moving as a rhinoceros mating in the mud.

Then the government of the day decided to privatize it and sell the shares to an unsuspecting Irish public. Mary O’Rourke, then Minister of Telecommunications and Various Other Things, urged the public to buy shares in this great new venture where everybody would become rich. She even convinced the banks to lend money to those who had none to buy the shares, using the shares as collateral. Which of course the greedy banks gladly did, smelling the scent of a killing.

In hindsight, O’Rourke was ahead of her time – in effect, she introduced what is now known as sub-prime lending.

Of course, everybody took a bath with the shares and the Geiger-counter beep merely increased in intensity as Eircom lurched forward in private ownership, dragged down by the millstone of the unions.

In its distracted state, the LOI managed to convince it to sponsor their league championship. Millions poured in with little return. If Eircom was useless at making money, the LOI/FAI was even better at losing it.

In the last decade, the combined entities have become farcical. There had been more internal strife and wars in soccer administration in Ireland than there has been in the entire continent of Africa for the last century. They had to start buying red carpets in Merrion Square so that the blood wouldn’t show after every meeting. Des Kelly had made a fortune supplying replacement green carpets until that fateful decision!

It should be called the SOI – the Scandal Association of Ireland.

Directors embezzling funds, tickets being sold by officials on the black market, senior clubs not paying taxes due on inflated player wages, all the FAI reserves being depleted by planning and consultancy fees for the aborted Eircom Stadium. Add the ego trips of Chief Executive, John Delany, the latest being the boast that the FAI could write the cheque for €74 million in the morning for their contribution to the new Lansdowne Road Stadium they will share with the IRFU. He couldn’t write a cheque for the €74 he spends on his lunch everyday!

It will be interesting in these troubled times to see who will have the balls or the foolishness to sponsor a game that is about exciting as watching the polar ice cap melting. A funeral undertaker might be a suitable possibility.

Truth is that the country would be better served if both the FAI and Eircom became extinct tomorrow, and headed for the dinosaur’s graveyard.

WHO SAID CAVAN PEOPLE WERE MEAN?

2008-07-24T16:27:00.001+01:00

I am not from Cavan so I have no hidden agenda when I make the point that I find Cavan people generous, friendly and helpful.
The popular myth throughout Ireland and the greater outside world is that Cavan people are mean, bloodsucking, hard-necked leeches who would eat you for a cent if they could.
I can claim thirty years experience dealing with the people of Cavan in business and social settings and, whilst like any good businessperson they drive a hard bargain, I can honourably and safely say that I have never had a bad experience with them.
I often wonder where the myth started as to the meanness and cute hoorism of the Cavan brethren. Of course, Niall Tobin, actor and comedian from Cork, has made a successful career from taking the piss out of Cavan people and perhaps this has influenced the notion. No better people either than those same Cavan folk to take the jokes in the spirit they were given.
Way back in the seventies, when things were bad and your only recourse to comfort was a couple of pints in a Dublin pub, chances were you would served by a Cavan man. Every pub in Dublin it seemed at that time was either owned or managed by a Cavan man. Conventional wisdom had it you would never see an old Cavan barman for the simple reason that by that stage they would own the bar!
I find the Cavan people warm-hearted, generous and great company in any setting.
On top of that, they can drink for Ireland and need only the flimsiest excuse to have a party. Contrary to popular myth, they will stand their round of drinks when their turn comes around.
Thrifty, perhaps, would be a better term to describe the Cavan people. They do not waste money on unnecessary purchases. In the current economic down turn, such attributes are bound to stand the in good stead.
As a friendly, warm-hearted people who would bend over backwards to help you, Cavan people come top of the list, in my opinion.
So I don’t want hear any more of those silly jokes about Cavan.
Make some jokes about the Dubs or the Meath people for a change. There is plenty of scope there!
Oh! By the way, did you hear the one about the Cavan man who found a crutch and proceeded to cut off his leg in order to put it to some use? See what I mean by being thrifty!

A SPORTING TRIUMPH LIFTS THE SPIRIT

2008-07-21T10:35:00.000+01:00

The Sunday newspapers in recent times are full of doom and gloom as to the future of the economy and the various potential disasters awaiting us all in a variety of forms due to the worldwide financial crisis. It has gotten to the stage with me that I am reluctant to read them at all. They would spoil your entire weekend. It is bad enough trying to please the bank manager during the working week without it impinging on your Sunday afternoon.
Today however, the Sunday papers did not receive any attention at all.
To hell with the doomsayers, when your life is enhanced by a wonderful sporting achievement.
A beaming Padraig Harrington, with a wonderful display of nerveless golf, not only won the Open Golf Championship at Royal Birkdale, but also took the Old Claret Jug by the scruff of the neck and marched to sporting immortality by winning back-to-back British Opens.
Until last year, our only Major winner in golf had been Fred Daly over 50 years ago.
At Carnoustie in2007, Harrington beat Sergio Garcia in a play-off after the Spaniard missed a five-foot putt on the 18th to win it.
It was known as the one that Garcia lost rather than the one that Harrington won despite the fact that the Irishman produced a miraculous up and down at the 18th after being in the water twice. He dominated the four hole play-off to win by two shots and bring joy to Ireland. Now, he is only the fifth player of all time to win back to back Opens.
Today, no begrudger could deny Padraig the acclaim he was due as he won by four shots, with some stunning back-nine golf in very difficult windy conditions.
Harrington is an ambassador for both the game of golf and for Ireland. A true gentleman with a permanent smile on his face whether dealing with triumph or disaster on the course, unlike the boorish Colin Montgomery or the sulking Sergio Garcia.
A more modest and humble superstar you would not see in the world of sport. His feet are firmly on the ground and his acceptance speech today would make any Irish heart swell with pride.
The bad news can wait until later in the week. The doom merchants can take a few days off and the country can feel rightly proud. Triumphs like this do matter.
Today, Padraig, you lifted the spirits of all Irish people. With your attitude, we can do anything!
Well done and thank you!

WILL AN OBAMA VICTORY BE GOOD FOR IRELAND?

2008-07-18T10:21:00.001+01:00

It seems now that the Democratic American presidential candidate, Barack Obama, has Irish roots. We are wonderful nation altogether when reaching for the genealogy books as soon a figure rises to prominence in American politics. It is as though we as a nation have a point to prove about the Irish making America great. The most tenuous connection is enough for the gravestone-searching merchants to embark on a venture of research into the roots of an individual.
In this case, they have determined that Barack’s great, great, great grandfather was born in Ireland, with speculation centred on the Clara area of County Offaly. (We wonder is that Brian Cowen trying to establish links with the likely future president of the United States in order to get some help to extract the nation from the economic meltdown it is in.)
We do know that his mother is Kenyan (Barack that is, not Brian) and it is well known in the midlands that Offaly men in the distant past had a great yen for the black women. Where they ever found black women in the bogs of Offaly is a question for another day, but is alleged that the observation that “once you go black, you never go back” was coined by a well-endowed Offaly resident who was fond of the Big Mamas.
All of this conjecture adds weight to the theory that Barack Obama may indeed have roots in the centre of Ireland, but will this count for anything if, as likely, he becomes President of the United States in November of this year.

There is no doubt that Obama has charisma in spades. (Shit! Is that a racist remark?
Sorry!). His campaign to win the Democratic nomination was an exhilarating display of powerful, moving speeches that enthralled the voters and indeed, greater America. We were witnessing the first black candidate making a serious attempt to gain entry to the Oval Office. For some, it was like the re-incarnation of Martin Luther King: the only other black man that would have the qualities a Presidential race. His untimely assassination by the dark forces of racism ensured it would never happen. In any case, it is doubtful that it would have ever occurred anyway – those were difficult and different times when the race issue was at its most brutal stage and even the Democrats would have baulked at the prospect.
Today it is more to with policies than colour, or so we like to think. Deep down race is still an issue in America. It demands circumspect discussion among the chattering classes in order to remain politically correct, but behind closed doors in the corridors of power, you can be sure that the prospect of a black President is upsetting many conservatives in both Democrat and Republican parties.
It does not help either that the Republican candidate is somewhat of a maverick in his own party. John McCain is a war hero and self made man – qualities that Americans love in their leaders. Were it not for Obama, he would be a shoe-in for the Presidency. However, his age and his more liberal assertions on various subjects have the Republican Party right- wingers losing sleep at night. McCain is loose cannon in their opinion, and were Obama not black, they would possibly do the unthinkable and vote for a Democrat just to keep McCain out.
As it is, they have little choice but to vote for him.
And, this is where Ireland comes into the picture. The Democratic Party has made it abundantly clear that when in power they will introduce a raft of measures to increase the tax take from US multinational companies operating abroad. They are suggesting a 30% repatriation tax from all foreign domiciled companies. If this measure were implemented, it would have a disastrous effect on the economy of Ireland.
Most multinational are here because of the low tax rates. Not alone that, they also use a facility known as transfer pricing to inflate the profits of Irish companies and decrease those from other higher tax jurisdictions, including the US itself. They tolerate the high wage environment of Ireland for that reason alone. If that were to change, the Intels and IBMs of this world would up sticks overnight and the already sinking ship that is Ireland would crash to the bottom of the ocean.
Traditionally, the Irish favoured Democratic presidents. This goes back to the Kennedy influence and their roots in Ireland. The Clintons helped in negotiations to bring about peace in the North extending the affiliation of the Irish to the Democrats.
This time however it is different. The US economy is as bad as ours is. That topic and the war in Iraq are the priorities for any incoming president.
Ireland will come way down the list in the scheme of things. The black vote will elect Obama and he will not be as dependant on the American Irish for their support as previous Democratic candidates were.
His only link to Ireland will be those horny Offaly men of the past who had a penchant for the black babes!
Not much to go on, is it?
Do something Brian!

MOVING THE DECKCHAIRS ON TITANIC IRELAND

2008-07-15T15:56:00.001+01:00

Last week we had much-heralded Government response to the economic crisis that is engulfing the country like one of those frightening summer gorse fires you see in Australia or America.
Solemn–faced ministers gathered around their leader, Brian Cowen, at a press conference to announce what were predicted to be dramatic solutions to dramatic problems. However, as the farce got under way it was clear to see that the Government was tackling the blazing fires with a garden hose.
Savings of €440 million were projected for the rest of the year. This is a mere drop in the ocean relative to what is needed to combat the doomsday scenario facing the country.
Minister of Finance, Brian Lenehan, appeared inept and unsure when probing questions were asked of the small detail of such savings in the over-hyped plan.
In fact, it was a cobbled together exercise by the Government designed to show that it was doing something in the meltdown facing us. It was non-specific, clouded with the veneer of aspiration rather than expectancy. When forensically examined by economists, the plan failed to meet national school arithmetic standards in that it contained fatal miscalculations.
What hope have we as a nation if this display incompetence is a yardstick to measure future Government action to tackle the real problems? Two days after presenting the ‘great solution’, they all went on their summer holidays until the end of September. What a great little country we are.

Once again, the elephant in the room was ignored even though he was having a piss in the corner. The Minister bleated bland and non-committed assertions regarding public service pay and costs. It was the sound of the lambs surrendering to the foxes.
Bertie Ahern’s legacy lingers with a whiff of the unpleasant stuff. The government are once again capitulating to the public service unions. We said her last week that with at least 300,000 staff, the public service is pulling the economy down to the depths of the ocean. Unless such drastic action is taken, there is no way that we will survive this crisis.
Pluck up some courage and tackle the public service millstone now, for Gods sake!

The government Quangos should be next on the list for dismantling. There are so many mini-organizations operating within Government that one would think the country had a population of 20 million. Quangos are NGOs that make reports on reports and advise the advisors on what to advise the advisors to the government.
It is nothing short of a maze of waste costing the state hundreds of millions each year. Inevitably, these organizations are peppered with people affiliated to the Fianna Fail party. Egos abound within these miniature think tanks and the level of hot air released by them would blow a hole in the ozone layer, if there were not one there already.
Get rid of them now! Send them back to the real world.

The tribunals of enquiry into So Many Things That One Forgets now have cost over a billion and have meandered on for over a decade.
They have investigated the great, the good and the bad. They will arrive at the same conclusion that the public arrived weeks after they started – that corruption exists in public and private life in Ireland.
We have known this for years before these stage shows kicked off. The lawyers have fleeced the Exchequer of vast sums of money representing in many cases the most peripheral of figures. No sooner was a witness summoned than he sought at the taxpayer’s expense an army of lawyers to represent him or her. The tribunals became a real life version of the Dublin Theatre Festival. When it is all over, nobody will suffer. Except, of course, the ordinary folk who foot the bill for the €2,000 per day lawyers.
Stop it all now and let common sense prevail!

RAINY DAYS AND NO SAVINGS

2008-07-07T09:49:00.000+01:00

Who is laughing now? Not us, for sure. We take no pleasure therefore in saying we told you so. A long time ago. There is point gloating at the condemned man when you are next in line. It is a short-lived and empty pleasure.
For the last fifteen years, we have experienced a boom in Ireland. We all knew it had to end but nobody seems to have told the Government. For the last two years, all those who had a vested interest in a whole range of sectors that stood to lose out if we crashed peddled the mythical soft landing scenario.
A cursory look at the history of global economics would have yielded the information that cycles are boom and bust. An up and down graph that provides no mercy. This is the real world folks, not Disney. Stories of soft landings were suitable tales to get the children asleep at night.
We can spend all day apportioning blame. Best confine it to a couple of paragraphs and then look for a solution or some mitigating event that would help this little island.
The blame lies with Bertie Ahern’s Fianna Fail led Government. You can throw in greedy banks and various financial engineering thugs, but they are simply support acts.
Bertie blew the good times in so many ways. Bending his arse to the unions on a permanent basis was an important factor that cost billions.
Wanton and criminal waste of the river of taxpayer’s money flowing into the coffers from all sectors, especially property, are the real reason why we are in the mess that shows a €3 billion hole in Government budgets.
The Government is the keeper of the Irish family of four million people. In olden days the thrifty Irish mother, the Finance Minister of the family, put the spare shillings away when there was an excess in income. She would not say anything about it, but it would be there come the day that the need arose, as it always would.
Similarly, in modern times, a potato farmer achieving a bumper yield and price this year, will reserve a percentage aside because he knows that for every two good years of returns, he will have one bad one. He prudently predicts the cycle that inevitably will happen and plans for the shortfall.
Bertie Ahern would make a poor-quality housewife and farmer. He is the reason that we have nothing under the mattress for events outside our control. A blight has attacked world economic and finance crops. Not our fault, of course, but we suffer nonetheless.
What to do?
It will be cuts, cuts, cuts, of course. A gold-plated Chubb for the empty stable door.
We agree there has to be cuts. Any business trying to survive a recession will implement cuts in all areas. Workers will lose their jobs. Investment in plant and equipment will be put on hold. Expenses will be hacked in large and small factories and businesses.
The Government is the largest employer and business in Ireland. It employs 310,000 people on inflated salaries and expenses. This figure doubled in the last ten years. The economic boom in Ireland required the increase in public service jobs, the Government told us.
Well the boom is over. Get rid of them! 150,000 extra people on the dole are a huge cost to the Exchequer, will be the cry. Still, a lot cheaper than employing them to do nothing! (Unfortunately, for us, whilst the unions were buggering Bertie, they managed simultaneously to get him to sign a “job for life” clause so the above probably won’t work.)
The next thing to be done is go out and borrow to finish our infrastructure plans. Do not put these on hold. They offer the obvious benefits of what they were designed to do and they keep the construction industry from complete meltdown in the interim. Future generations will thank us in hindsight if we have the balls to do this.
Reform the stamp duty fiasco. Cowen and co are taking any money in from it now. The cash cow has gone dry so what is there to lose by cutting it drastically and maybe kick start the property market.
Then, force the banks to lend money to first time buyers. The arch-villains in the worldwide financial meltdown now shit in their drawers every time a couple come looking for a measly mortgage. Two years ago, a drug user from Nigeria would get 120% from the bank nearest the port he landed. So give them a Pampers adult nappy and let them lend and lend. The nappy can be in the form of a guarantee to the banks that protects a certain amount of their exposure. No different from Mum and Dad being guarantor for their kids first loan. Just go and do it Cowen! Think outside the box for once. These few measures along with hundreds of other creative ideas are needed now to keep the show on the road.
More thrifty ideas next week. Just have to call the mother and my old friend the spud farmer.

Profiting from our Misery

2008-06-27T16:45:00.000+01:00

The first duty of a Government is to look after the citizens which it claims to protect under the Constitution of the country of Ireland. This is the mandate they were given when elected by those same people.
The world is in the grip of an economic crisis caused by many factors, one of the main ones being the price of oil. Oil is at the time of writing priced at $138 per barrel, 63% more than it was 12 months ago. Reflected at the pumps, this means a massive increase in costs for those who drive to work. Home heating oil has increased by the same ratio, agricultural diesel ‘ditto’. Manufacturing industry is being crippled under the weight of higher energy costs.
Everybody from the small homeowner to the large industrialist is suffering because of events outside their control. There are no winners in this situation. Right?
Wrong!
Every time the price of a barrel of oil goes up, the Government of this banana republic of ours wins. They win because of the high levels of excise duty and Vat on the price of oil. Every price rise at the pumps means more money is extracted from the unfortunate drivers of Ireland, who have no choice but to use their cars to get to work because the lack of alternative transport infrastructure.
Having blown away fifteen years of boom-time revenue, our Government doesn’t have a bean to see out the bad times that we are now facing. Therefore, despite numerous calls from various industry lobby groups for some sort of fuel rebate, the Government has refused to even consider the matter. They are making money on our misery.
One of those lobby groups is the Irish Road Haulage Association (IRHA). This body is so weak that the Government just swats away the feeble protests from it, not unlike you might do with an annoying fly. It might listen to the farmers (IFA) but the stuff the truckers.
The IRHA should consider using the ammunition it has in its arsenal.
If unity could prevail in this most notorious of fragmented sectors and a combined transport stoppage strategy was employed, the Government would soon wake up to the crisis facing all sectors because of their inherent greed.
If all trucks, buses, and smaller commercial vehicles stopped tomorrow, carnage would ensue.
In five working days there would be no food or general provisions left on the shelves of supermarkets.
In three working days there would be no fuel left in any of the filling stations.
In seven working days, stocks of critical medical supplies for hospitals would run out.
In five working days, pharmacies would have no medicines to dispense.
Pubs would close because deliveries of drink would stop. Restaurants would do the same.
Because most major factories use a JIT system (Just-In-Time) of ordering and receiving raw materials for production, factories would close within two working days, throwing tens of thousands out of work.
Schools would close immediately because there would be no buses to transport the pupils, and even if there were, there would be no heating in the classrooms.
Airlines would have to stop flying because fuel would not be delivered to their tank farms.
Within ten working days, the country would descend into anarchy. Riots and looting would be commonplace and a dysfunctional society would turn on itself. The Army would patrol the streets, but what services can hungry soldiers perform?
And, if you are waiting for the Government to implement the National Emergency Plan, you will wait.
We are an island nation that depends on transport to provide the links so that we can live. Without transport, any island is doomed.
Will the IRHA and other transport organizations please get together and tell the greedy mandarins in Government the consequences of ignoring the pleas of the transport sector.
For once in your life, show them the power that you have. They might just listen this time.

A BLOODY NOSE NEEDS A TISSUE

2008-06-18T16:48:00.000+01:00

Well, look what we have done to poor old Europe! Left their Lisbon Treaty in shatters, it seems. Ireland is now the pariahs of the European Union. A little island in the North Atlantic, population 4 million, has wrecked the plans of the other 496 million people in the EU by voting No to the Lisbon Treaty.

One German MEP stated that we should “be thrown overboard from the EU boat without a lifeboat” for doing such a thing.

It is only when you hear such a statement you realize that we were so right to vote No in the first place. The bullies in the European schoolyard, having muttered veiled threats before we voted, now are very clear about their desire to kick the shit out of us for not doing what suited their agenda.

Ireland has a constitution, which demands that any changes to it are voted on by the people. This amendment required just such a vote. In this instance, that luxury was not afforded to the citizens of the other 26 countries that make up the EU. We wonder if it were, how many of the 500 million people would have voted against the Lisbon Treaty?

In 2005, the basis of what is now the Lisbon Treaty document, was put to the French people and roundly rejected by them. France took no chances this time and did not allow a free vote on the issue. They have some cheek is lecturing Ireland on the democratic decision reached by their people.

Already the blame game is underway in Ireland and in Europe as to who is responsible for this so-called `failure' to bend the knee to our masters. So what really happened to make Ireland reject the Treaty?

The answer is a combination of factors.

First, the intelligence of the Irish voter is of the finest calibre. In all our general and local elections, we have always the PR (proportional representation) system. Experience of this complex voting exercise has educated the Irish voter.

Secondly, the arrogance of all the mainstream parties in personalizing the canvass.

Images of your local TD or councillor, seeking your Yes vote insulted the electorate by asking them to vote along party lines without actually examining the contents and implications of the treaty.

Thirdly, the bullying tactics of Brian Cowen and his cohorts in Europe, who were wheeled out to the Irish public telling them to be grateful for 35 years of EU benefits and implying that Europe was owed a Yes result or there would be hell to play.

The fourth, and probably most pertinent reason, was the strength of the No campaign. Normally a plethora of loony left-wingers, Greens, Sinn Fein and various shadowy anti-establishment organisations would have comprised the No opposition. They would have been dismissed by the media and the politicians for what they were - a disaffected bunch of no-hopers with spurious agendas. They would have little or no credibility with the electorate.

However, this time the No campaign was painted with a veneer of respectability and

authority by the presence of the Libertas group, led by businessman, Declan Ganly, together with the campaign fronted by another well-known and successful business magnate, Ulick Mc Evaddy.

The articulate arguments of these men in relation to the tax issues, amongst others, made the floating vote suddenly sit up and as their own questions. These were no head bangers telling the nation to vote No because an endangered snail species in Kerry might become extinct if the Yes campaign got their way.

These guys had street credibility and a history of business achievement envied by many, including those in Government, who questioned their source of funding in a effort to blacken them.(just tell them you won it on the horses, lads!)

The high turnout was reckoned to favour the Yes campaign but the reverse occurred because those higher numbers were people who were informed of the alternative and arrived armed to vote No.

The schoolyard bully is always a coward. It is no different this time. Cowen and EU president, Barriso, have crawled back into the undergrowth threatening that when we are on our own they will get us.

And they probably will, you know. But for now at least, they are looking for some tissues to wipe the blood of their noses.

LISBON TREATY MY ARSE !

2008-06-09T09:12:00.000+01:00

It is only when you see the flustering and blustering of Brian Cowen and assorted Government ministers in the last week as the polls showed that the No vote was equal to the Yes vote that you realize the Irish people are being sold a dummy by their own Government on the Lisbon Treaty.
Cowen and his fellow puppets in all the main parties are afraid of displeasing their masters in Brussels. What we are getting, in effect, if we vote Yes, is a Constitution of Europe, which will take precedent over our own. It is fair comment to say that our current Irish Constitution allows the people have a say in their destiny in Europe. Most other countries steam-rolled it through, with recourse to the opinion of the people who elected them to high office.
In Ireland, thanks to the foresight of our fore fathers, issues like these have to have the approval of the people. In this sense, we will be used as a barometer of opinion as to where the EU is headed. There is no doubt that a federal Europe on the lines of the United States is the ultimate aim of the bigger states like Germany and France. here. The Lisbon Treaty is of course partially the work of Bertie Ahern who got agreement on a great deal of what we are voting on when Ireland had the EU presidency for six months in 2006.
Of course, as we now know, Bertie had only his own interests at heart when he brokered that deal. Ireland came way down the list on Bertie’s agenda.
He had his own goals to pursue, which was a nice job in Europe in reward for being a good boy and leading little old Ireland into the starting stalls, to use a horseracing term. (Not that Bertie would know too much about horses. Oh! Wait a moment – he does! He made a fortune on the English racetracks in the nineties. Christ! I nearly forgot about that.)
Anyway, Bertie probably has the best of both worlds now that he is no longer leader of our country. Cowen will take all shit from Brussels if he fails to deliver and Bertie will claim all the glory if the Yes side wins by saying that he was the architect of the Treaty. Cue a plaintive cry from Drumcondra about that job he was promised.
The truth of the matter is that the powerful Eurocrats will swipe Bertie’s interest away as that of an annoying fly buzzing around their big room. And they will do the same to Ireland. Make no mistake about that.
The EU is a much more culturally and geographically spread entity now. It is not like the days when it was made of ten states and Ireland had one tenth of the power and a proper veto on items of national interest.
In those days, Albert Reynolds could win an election by boasting about the £8 billion punts he extracted from the EU coffers for Ireland. Those days are no more. The EU is a community of 300 million people of which we make up a little over 1%.
What clout do you think we are going to have in such a monolith? Very little, under the proposed Lisbon Treaty and no matter what way all the Government and opposition spin it you can be sure of one thing – we will be shafted.
Tax harmonization will enter through the back door, be very sure about that.
Take no heed of the so-called get out veto clause for Ireland. It is so vague and open to interpretation that we will not stand a chance of imposing our will upon the rest of Europe. They have looked on for the last 35 years as we rifled the coffers of Europe to make the country temporarily rich, only for Bertie and his cohorts to blow all the gains away on crazy projects and arse-licking the unions.
Vote No for a chance to make the many grey areas of this Treaty more black and white. Do not let the vested interests of Cowen, Kenny and Gilmore (not to mention Bertie) allow us to sleepwalk into a federal Europe without any protection.
Do not believe the false and alarming rhetoric that comes from them about us being the black sheep of Europe if we vote No.

Vote No!
And, if you get the chance, vote No a second time!

THE BANKS – DEVILS IN DISGUISE

2008-06-04T11:20:00.000+01:00

I have never seen the devil in the flesh. For many years, I lived with the comfortable notion that the devil was an invention of my mothers in order to get me to bed early and generally behave myself. In the bright spring of youth, every pleasure was apparently a sin in the eyes of my parents and their peers.
Drink was the devil’s potion and Hell awaited you if you abused it. The pleasures of teenage fornication were denounced from the pulpit, and pronounced as a fast track route to meet Satan. Needless to say, all thoughts of the devil and Hell were quickly extinguished by the lust engendered by Susie next door. For her part, she didn’t seem too interested in the devil either! Neither of us had the good fortune to meet him and if we had we would have probably sought his approval and carried on with our shenanigans.

Decades later, I still have not encountered the devil in the flesh. However, I have met him, and he exists all right - in the shape of the bank manager.
Not any individual bank manager, let me say. The modern day bank manager dealing with clients at the coalface of business and living is mostly a decent sort.
He will do what he can for you but he is controlled from on high. He or she has no power.
In days of yore in Ireland, the local bank manager was a powerful figure. He was his own man and had the power to make or break you with his sole decisions. He had no need to refer to higher office for decisions made on a point-scoring chart. He looked in your eyes and made a character judgement that was seldom wrong. Nowadays, the bank manager in that sense no longer exists.
Instead, you deal with a faceless credit committee that lives somewhere in a shiny glass building in Dublin and never has eye contact with those they loosely term ‘customers’. Victims would be a more appropriate word.
Your account manager in your local branch doles out the good or bad news to you these days. If headquarters hasn’t approved your loan request, they will make suitable sympathetic clucking noises as to the grey suits taking the matter out of their hands. This of course is all an act, mastered by years of training by those same grey suits in the game known as ‘Pass the Buck and care not a Fuck’
The devil in Irish society is the Bank. Not just any bank, all banks. The Bank controls your life whether you are a small business, a regular worker, a home carer or a large business.
The Bank is the many faces of the Devil. Never was it more evident than today in post Celtic Tiger Ireland. For the last 15 years, the banks have thrown money at people who did not even necessarily want it. You were encouraged to borrow by all the banks. In fact, you were made to feel somewhat inadequate and lacking in entrepreneurial spirit if as a small business, or developer or whatever, you did not match the banks expectations that you were good for another million or so. It was very much akin to the scene that took place in the Garden of Eden with Adam and Eve. The banks dangled the apple in front of you and seduced you with promises of great things in the future.
Now however, as the credit crunch bites the Devil reveals himself in glowing red.
He arrives in the shape of a dull grey-suited bank auditor who tells you that you were very foolish to take up that loan offered by his colleagues by some years back. They need to increase the security, they need a higher rate of interest, they need this, and they need that to cover their red asses from being burned by the Devils own fire.
Mark Twain was right when said that a banker is somebody who offers you an umbrella on a sunny day and takes it away on a rainy one.
Yes Mother, you were right all along. The Devil does exist!

FIDDLING WHILE ROME BURNS

2008-05-26T09:35:00.000+01:00

In the week that was in it, a scan at the headlines in the newspapers says a lot for our priorities, or perhaps more pertinently, the impression that the sub-editors of our national dailies (and not just the red tops) have about our priorities.

Our new Taoiseach, Brian Cowen, was caught using what was termed unparlimentary language in our parliament. In some heated exchanges in the Dail on Tuesday last, he was heard to the term ‘fuckers’ after a discussion about the cost of living in this country of ours. This was a muttered aside to his Tainaste, Mary Coughlan, after the debate had finished and the microphone in front of him was still switched on.

The next day the headlines screamed as though the man had murdered some of his opponents in the Dail with his bare hands. Banner headlines and various conspiracy theories as to whom he was referring to dominated all the papers, the venerable Irish Times included.

Is it not enough to make you sick?

The country is going down the tubes at a speed that is as bewildering and scream inducing as going down a 200 metre slide with grease on your bare ass and all that concerns the masses is apparently the F-word was used in the Dail!

Is there any hope left for us at all?

We are giving Cowen a small honeymoon period to show his mettle. It has to be very short. Drastic action is needed to avoid the country having to be taken in charge by the IMF.

Bertie has gone to the backbenches with the daft notion firmly fixed in his head that he brought prosperity to Ireland by his cunning methods and grasp of economics (he once claimed to have a degree from the London School of Economics). This notion on one side of his brain refuses to be overcome by rational thought that he was lucky and the real test was how he would prepare the country for the inevitable downturn that would come.

We know now the answer to that question.

He blew 15 years of good times in a variety of pet projects, a vastly inflated public service and a total cave in to the main cause of our current perilous state, the trade unions. His legacy will be one of utter waste of everything that was accumulated over 15 years.

In one year alone, he presided over the evaporation of the gains of a decade and a half.

In Inchodowney, in a famous Fianna Fail think-in, he declared himself a socialist. That was in 2005. The truth is that Bertie was who you wanted him to be during his entire career. Like the chameleon, he could change his colours to suit all occasions.

He will find a nice job in Europe (there will be none left in Ireland) and he will go to his grave with the delusion that he made the people of Ireland rich.

Meanwhile, Cowen is left to deal with the war. Time will tell if his efforts and potential will work.

Sadly, in the meantime all we can do is fill acres of newsprint because he uttered a curse in the Dail. Truly, the country is fucked!

BERTIE THE BOLT

2008-04-14T10:01:00.000+01:00

Taoiseach-elect, Brian Cowen, faces his first major crisis just days after being installed as the leader of Fianna Fail.

Ironically, the pressing issue involves none other than the man he is set to take the reins from as leader of the country on May 6th next, Bertie Ahern.

This time the problem has nothing to do with Bertie’s finances, houses, lovers and all the baggage that was unloaded at the Mahon Tribunal.

Bertie Ahern is the only man struck by lightening twice in the history of the planet, which goes back billions of years. Not alone that, but he survived both attempts!

On Thursday last, Bertie and his entourage were making their way to Belfast for the 10th anniversary of the Good Friday Agreement. They flew from Dublin to Belfast by the Government jet and were beginning their descent into Belfast when the plane was struck by what Government aides later said was a bolt of lightening. The bolt singled out poor Bertie and the man went into contortions in the seat.

There were four pilots and various aides on board totaling in number fourteen. Nobody was harmed except Bertie, who later bravely shrugged off the incident in his typical understated manner. “Ah shure, these things happen. I got the same dart some years ago on the way to see Bill Clinton in the White House. You get used to it, I suppose”

Back in Dublin however, questions were being asked. The Special Branch was called in to investigate conspiracy theories that were circulating on the internet. Rumours were spreading to the effect that this was no accident at all. Nobody ever is hit by lightening twice. There was some mysterious aura to the whole incident.

Why did Bertie and party need to take the Gulfstream V Government jet with a range of 13,000 kilometres to travel 150 kilometres from Dublin to Belfast? Why did they not go by road up that brand new M1 motorway? Has the toll bridge at Drogheda got so expensive that it is cheaper to take the jet instead?

What about the carbon footprint left after such a method of travel? Was this Bertie’s way of giving the two fingers to the Green Party who were holding their annual conference in Dundalk?

There was much scratching of heads at Garda headquarters. The CIA was asked for assistance as the unanswered questions mounted. They immediately re-assigned a crack unit, based at Shannon Airport, from their normal duties of kicking the shit out of prisoners on their way to Guantanemo Bay, to add their extensive knowledge and forensic skills in the search for the truth.

The CIA blamed Bin Laden for praying loudly to Allah and convincing him to unleash a bolt of lightening targeted to hit Bertie. Brian Cowen rejected this crazy notion outright and offered the scenario that Celia Larkin released a surface-to air missile from Killaloe to extract revenge for Bertie not marrying her when she asked him.

The Special Branch, clearly annoyed at having the CIA operating on their patch, suggested that this was much ado about nothing. They opined that Bertie was always a sitting target to be struck by lightening twice – didn’t he lead a misfortunate life, as sort of a political Jonah dogged by ill-fated events all during his political career.

People giving him money when he did not need it. Other people giving him houses just for the fun of it. Bankers refusing to open accounts for him, even when he was Minister for Finance. Disaster followed him everywhere. His daughter even married a guy from Westlife – the shame of it all! Sure, he was a sitting duck for a bolt of lightening.

As we write, the crisis continues. Watch this space. Space? Who said space?

BERTIE BOWS OUT; WHY WE SHOULD BE GLAD

2008-04-07T09:31:00.000+01:00

Bertie Ahern succumbed to the inevitable this week when he tendered his resignation to take effect from May 6. This timeframe allows him to address the joint US Congress and Senate and provide him with an opportunity to say farewell on the grandeur of a world stage and add an impressive last line to his CV.
It is all a long way from the petty nit-picking probing of the Mahon Tribunal into his financial affairs, (as he seen it) which led to his departure on a very low note this week.
These revelations, and his incredulous explanations of his dodgy dealings with cronies in the mid-nineties, probably reveal the true Bertie that he so cleverly camouflaged during his political career.
In the end, he lied like an intellectually challenged eight-year old altar boy caught red-handed drinking the altar wine. It was farcical to see him digging a hole so deep for himself and then insulting the intelligence of the Irish people by his pathetic stories in trying to get out of it.
Let us credit him first with his undoubted achievement.
The torturous negotiations in bringing order and peace in Northern Ireland leading to the Good Friday Agreement in 1998 stands as his greatest contribution to the people of the 32 counties of Ireland. His skills at achieving consensus helped to bring a solution that eventually morphed into devolved Government in Northern Ireland. Bertie Ahern deserves credit for his involvement in that process – but only as part of a team. And, bear in mind that his predecessors, Albert Reynolds, along with John Hume, were the real architects of the peace that is now in place when they opened secret dialogue with Gerry Adams and Martin Mc Guinness in 1994. Ahern never gave credit to either man in all the backslapping that occurred when eventually the North started looking after its own affairs.
In fact, he shafted Reynolds in the most two-faced manner when Fianna Fail nominated Mary Mc Aleese as Presidential candidate to replace Mary Robinson, having promised Reynolds his vote, only to betray him at the last minute.
Bertie Ahern is a complex character. Being educated in politics by Charles Haughey and graduating with first class honours – “the most cunning of them all”- eliminates him from any tolerance of the notion that he was some political innocent abroad. He cultivated the image of the ordinary north-sider made good in politics by sheer hard work and a disciplined constituency organization. At the same time, he was possessed of Machevellian purpose and intent that only the ‘Master Haughey’ could have honed to supreme levels. Bertie was clever enough to build around him an army of cohorts to do the dirty work and retain his innocent “wouldn’t harm a soul” image in his power base of Drumcondra.
When the top job became his, he brought many of these comrades with him and placed them in positions of power that was not for the good of the country, but for the good of Bertie. Added to that, he appointed a huge raft of professional advisors to go along with the public servants already paid to advise him. In a country of less than four million people, Bertie had enough of staffers to run the United States.
Clever people surround themselves with cleverer people. It is doubtful if Bertie ever had an original thought in his political life such is the array of knowledge at his disposal. His inability to think for himself was cruelly exposed at the Mahon Tribunal when forensic question about his financial follies were met with the most ludicrous and incredulous answers. Once away from the strings of his political puppeteers, Bertie was a walking liability to Fianna Fail and there was no way the party was going to let him go before the tribunal again as Taoiseach and pile more agony on them.
Therefore, it is hard to make out the character of the real Bertie. Was he a buffoon who brought Fianna Fail back together with his conciliatory methods? Was he a brain who had a great vision of what he wanted to achieve, and the cunning to carry it out? Apart from his positive role in the North, what did Bertie achieve for the people who actually elected him to office?
In a nutshell, very little. He presided over unprecedented economic boom that was under way when he took office in 1997 and to which he made little contribution. His greatest act was to appoint Charlie McCreevey as Minister of Finance. McCreevey was a maverick that could bully Bertie and his ministers into his way of thinking. A range of measures introduced during his reign as Finance Minister, most notably the cutting of Capital Gains Tax from 40% to 20%, ensured that McCreevey contributed more to the Celtic Tiger than Bertie ever did, despite the former hiring more public servants than the state ever needed.
Ahern wasted the billions that reached the coffers of Government, mostly from the property boom. He must take sole responsibility for his own vanity projects and the failure of his ministers to control budgets on various projects.
It is frightening to consider what was lost on the likes of the Luas, Port Tunnel, electronic voting machines, the M50, the Ppars health IT exercise, Bertie Bowl, Aquatic Centre etc etc.
Worst of all though was the Benchmarking Commission that gave away over a billion euros to public servants that were already overpaid. This was solely Bertie’s baby.
The ability of Ahern to achieve consensus was not a skill at all. It was a weakness. He gave into the unions for the entire duration of his political life. The PR people would portray agreements a victory for common sense when, in fact, Bertie surrendered. The unions played their part in the charade and sniggered up their sleeves at the meekness of the man.
In summary, Bertie Ahern was a lucky politician who in time will be remembered not for what he done for the state, but what he didn’t do. He rode the wave of the good times he was fortunate to find himself in and then washed the proceeds down the toilet.
He departs his office, leaving the country in a mess.
He did the state no service at all.

The Season is Upon Us

2008-03-31T09:16:00.000+01:00

January through March are horrible months in Ireland. The weather is bad, money is in short supply after the Christmas excesses and all the economic forecasts for Ireland in 2008 are in the gloom and doom category.

In sporting circles however, January means that it not far away from the start the Gaelic football and hurling season. Spring and summer beckon with all the usual anticipation and discussion from the county teams down to the Junior 4 club side. The summer in Ireland will be defined by how your club or county performs.

Weather is irrelevant. The GAA supporter is a hardy animal and in the playing months (usually March to October) he or she are possessed of an almost manic religious fervour.

The GAA organization and its games are unique in the world of sport. Nowhere are there as compelling and attractive games to watch, played by amateur men and women to very high fitness levels and a huge degree of skill. These games attract massive audiences within Ireland, and yet remain virtually unknown in any country worldwide. With the exception of ex-pats organizing games in the US, UK and Australia, these wonderful games are ignored by mainstream media the world over. And boy, what are they missing!

For those who may not know of the national games of Ireland a brief introduction is in order. Gaelic games are basically divided into football, hurling, camogie (effectively ladies hurling) ladies football and handball (akin to squash without racquets). The first two mentioned are the main games, played by men.

The core of the entire GAA system is the parish club and the amateur ethos. The parish is an area within a county the borders of which were originally defined by the Catholic Church. Generally, what is known as the “parish rule” applies in that if a player is resident in a particular parish he is obliged by rule to play for the club that exists there. Of course, many parishes are large towns in which there are multiple clubs and in such cases, players have a choice from which to play.

No player in any of the sports receives payment. Only at the top administrative level do officials who occupy full-time jobs get salaries and expenses. A grants system is about to be introduced in 2008 to compensate inter-county players. This has attracted controversy and it remains to be seen how it works out. In many ways, this has come about because GAA has become a victim of its own success with huge demands on players from county and club.

There are over 2,500 clubs in the 32 counties. The game is structured administratively by an All-Ireland Central Council and then on a provincial basis through to a county board command role down to the club itself. The best players from clubs are picked to represent their county in the provincial and all-Ireland championships.

The volunteer aspect of the organization is incredible. Mentors and officials at club and county level work passionately to ensure the continuation of the games through generations, as other sports vie to attract the kids. For a sport that is confined to the 32 counties, the attraction and huge power it wields is a phenonomen not seen any where in the world of sport.

The amateur aspect is also the key to its success. Gaelic sporting heroes are tangible, ordinary men and women who perform heroics on the field of play, watched by thousands, and by a vastly larger TV audience. Yet, they have jobs to go to on Monday, whether it is a building site, or an accountancy practice, a teaching job or a university place. These young men and women are touchy, feely people that you will meet down at the pub having a pint, largely ignored by their local peers, but mega stars in the national media. They live ordinary lives with their feet kept firmly on the ground. There is little room for posers in the GAA dressing rooms and the down to earth attitudes of most players, famous or not, is one that is implanted in them from a tiny age. .

As a huge force for good in every community, whether it be a tiny village or a large town, it is impossible to calculate the enormous cultural and personal benefits that emerge from the presence of the GAA club.

At a higher level, the success of the game has enabled the GAA, and Ireland, to have one of the great stadiums of the world - Croke Park. This stadium has a long history but the foresight of the upper echelon of the GAA to demolish it in stages and rebuild it completely was a truly fantastic feat for an amateur organization. If only these people would take over the running of the country from the dimwits that are doing it now. Croke Park is now an excellent stadium seating in excess of 82,000 people. Not alone though is there Croke Park, but also many excellent stadiums around the country. Venues such as the hurling stronghold of Semple Stadium in Thurles and Clones in Monaghan spring to mind as good examples of regional stadiums.

It speaks volumes for the quality of the people running a huge amateur organization when you compare them to their counterparts in the FAI.

This supposedly professional body has made a complete shambles soccer at local and national level, despite the great years of success in the 80’s and 90’s. The FAI never capitalized on the high profile and success that Jack Charlton brought to the team and the country. The incompetent imbeciles that parade as professional administrators in the FAI could take a lesson from what the soccer brigade sneer at as the Grab All Association.

It could be more correctly described as the Give Away Association when one sees the funds that filter down to ground level, creating high standard amenities in every little village and town land, whilst the soccer clubs are still togging out behind the ditch and the national team is homeless!

The some what archaic administration system where the existence of County Boards, Provincial Councils, and Central Council management tiers is often criticized for the inability to move issues along quickly. There is more than a degree of truth in that, and this has often led to stalemate in trying to reach important decisions. None more so than the thorny and controversial decision to open Croke Park to facilitate the playing of soccer and rugby, games that were once alien to GAA culture because of the British occupation of Ireland at the founding time of the Association in 1884.

This mindset was reinforced by the memory of a barbaric act by the British forces in 1921 when they entered Croke Park in armoured cars, and opened fire on both spectators and players without warning. Thirteen people were killed on that day of shame, including one player, Michael Hogan, whom the Hogan Stand is now named after.

Thereafter, members of the British forces were not allowed to be members of the GAA. As the state evolved into what it now is, a Republic of Ireland of 26 counties and a separate 6-county province of Ulster, governed by the British, the ban applied up until recent years to members of the then RUC (now the PSNI ).

The most controversial aspect of the GAA rules that carried through from the 1920’s was what was known as the “Ban”. This rule prevented players of Gaelic games participating in what were termed “foreign games”, this meaning soccer and rugby. These two games were considered to be British games and therefore alien to Irish culture. It was the most ridiculous rule ever invented by the GAA and was broken so many times, by so many different methods, that public opinion forced the organization to revoke the rule in 1972.

That the rule lasted that long is not something of which the GAA should be proud.

Thus, the controversy about opening Croke Park to soccer and rugby was rooted in the events of many years ago. It took three years to get the motion approved to allow this to happen, and showed that history can be a great restrainer of progress. However, happen it did and one of the great memories of this scribe was watching Ireland beat England in the 6-Nations Rugby Championship at Croke Park in 2006 at a packed and indescribable cauldron of emotion and pride.

Let it be written in stone so that none may forget. Gaelic games are the face of what make Ireland wonderful and unique. We should, as a nation, be intensely proud of the GAA and therefore proud of ourselves as individuals involved in any role that may be as a mentor, supporter or player.

Roll on the summer of 2008!

We can handle the January blues with the mere thought of the joys that might be ahead.

The LIE That is IRISH PUBLIC SERVICE

2008-03-27T11:30:00.000Z

The most incorrect term for workers employed by the Irish state is that of “public servant”. The title suggests that they carry out their duties in their place of employment, be they gardai, nurses, teachers, county council employees, tax officials, or ( the old favourite) clerical workers, in a manner that serves the public in an efficient, fair and courteous manner. The title is an abomination of what it appears to portray, or what it should portray. Public servants are there to serve the public and are paid by them.

In thousands of little cameos ever day in this country there are examples of how the reverse is true.
From over zealous taxmen, to petty health officials and Gardai that thinks their uniform entitles to act like Hitler by dishing out punishment for the most diminutive misdemeanors whilst ignoring the real crime that would be too much of a problem to tackle, we are financing the most lazy and incompetent so called public service in the world. And that is before the breathtaking arrogance of some of these people and their representatives, the union leeches, are even taken into account.
Ireland has the highest amount of public servants per capita in all of the EU states and most likely, if it were checked, in the entire world. They make up 20% of the entire Irish workforce! An incredible statistic that when one ponders about it, is quite frightening.
Who are all these people? Where are they? What do they do?
One fifth of the working population is employed to service the beauracratic needs of the other four fifths, needs mostly created by that 20% in endless regulations and red tape scenarios that are a hopeless illustration of their worth to their employer, the Government, and most of all to their paymaster, poor Joe and Joan Soap, the taxpaying public of Ireland.
Ever since Charlie Mc Creevey lifted the ban on public service recruitment in the late nineties, the biggest employment growth sector in Ireland, even exceeding the construction industry, has been the Public Service. It is also now the highest paid mainstream employment sector, some 40% ahead of the average Irish industrial wage and way above the European average, of course.
This situation has managed to evolve largely because of the ludicrous Benchmarking Process when Bertie Ahern caved into the union demands some years ago in a withering surrender designed to keep him in power. If the Labour Party had been in power they could have not done such a good job.
The legacy is of course a completely bloated public sector pay bill that the economy was just about able to handle in the good times, but will in the future become the Great Nightmare now that reality is coming down the tracks with not even a light on it. And, of course, the last that will suffer are the incompetents that occupy the lofty perches of the public service.

Have you noticed the increasing public debate that is slowing becoming louder on the policy of the current Government (or is that lack of policy?) on the thorny issue of immigration. Irish Independent columnist, Kevin Myers, has sparked a bit of liberal uproar by suggesting that Ireland should enforce an immediate
ban on immigration within the thresholds of our legal commitments to the EU policy on the matter. The facts are that Ireland operates a wide open gate to nationalities of all shades and creeds to enter this country. They do not seem to have set any boundaries on the limits that should apply. Kevin Myers is right. This short-sightedness now is going to have massive implications for Irish society down the line in a decade or more.
We do not have any moral obligation to loosely open our borders to all and sundry just because when times were hard, we emigrated to other countries, such as America and the UK. We don’t owe Nigerians, for example, a living because our descendants worked in America or Australia or wherever. We owe them nothing and the pious attitude taken by Irish NGOs is naive to say the least.
Ireland is hard put to look after our own and, as stated above, will be even more so now that the economy has slowed down. To refuse entry to people with doubtful credentials is not racism. To consider our own needs first and foremost is not racism. We have an eminent bunch of do–gooders in this country that seem to think that if we are not absolutely open and inviting we deserve to be labeled with the ‘R’ word. These mouthpieces are generally well heeled, well educated, considered to be academic and totally removed from the harsh reality of modern Irish life. They sip wine and pontificate at art exhibitions and envelope openings about the enchanted overview we as a nation must have. Do not be specific, just generalize please. It makes it so much less painful.
Their attitude might become more specific when their little Johnny or Jane arrive home and announce that they are going to marry Raja, or Mutu, who are from just down the road (the Kandashar or Nairobi road, that is). Just watch them choke on their cheese and wine then!
At least Tourism Ireland might be happy. All these inter racial relationships will surely increase the numbers taking an Ireland vacation. Ireland Travel Information will have to set up new offices in the Congo and Brazil. The Four Seasons hotel in Ballasbridge will be inundated with enquiries for their ‘Pamper Packages” and Thornton’s Restaurant will be booked out for the year.

Happy Days !!

WHAT HOPE IRELAND’S BANKS?

2008-03-20T10:39:00.000Z

On the 17th March that great American financial institution, Bear Sterns, effectively collapsed and had to be bailed out by the Federal Reserve in a scenario not entirely unlike what happened in the UK with Northern Rock bank. It has been dubbed as the Paddy’s’ Day massacre

The difference was that while the Federal Reserve - the American equivalent of the European Central Bank (ECB) - done so in partnership with another giant American bank, JP Morgan, in the UK the British Government stepped and actually guaranteed the depositors funds. Northern rock is now probably the safest bank in the world in which to put your money. It also has an Irish branch in Dublin and this British guarantee applies to Irish depositors whose savings are lodged there.
You may well ask what has all this to do with the ordinary Joe and Joan Mc Soap in Ireland. They are going about their business, putting some money away in various institutions and stocks, bonds and ordinary savings. Some may be on company pensions. Some may have their cash locked up in a capital-guaranteed product with some of the Irish banks, earning a low but steady return and allowing them to sleep peacefully at night.
Yet others, who may consider themselves more financially astute, have invested in complex products with their broker or financial adviser.
So, the current meltdown in the world’s financial markets has everything to do with the future of the Mc Soaps in rural or city Ireland. It is time to head to the pharmacy and get some strong sleeping pills. You may need them if cold sweat interruptions to your sleep are to be avoided.
Two weeks ago, Irish investors in a Friends First bond which was packaged by the now defunct ITSC lost every cent of their investment when ITSC ran into liquidity problems caused in no small measure by the sub-prime lending crisis that started in America.
This crisis erupted when greedy American banks issued mortgages to people at very high interest rates because the borrowers were high risk. The banks however figured that they had weighed the risk correctly and, while there would be a higher level of defaults, the high interest rates on those loans that were repaid would more than compensate for that downside. Just to be sure, however, they securitized (sold on) these loans to other banks worldwide to reduce their exposure.
It is a bit like a bookie laying off a big bet that they cannot handle if it were to come off.
The American banks were wrong. Defaults were huge. The NINJA’s, as the borrowers were known, (No Income No Job No Assets), didn’t pay the money back and never will. And when that happened banks all round the world, including Ireland, were left holding the baby as these securitized loan packages became weapons of mass financial destruction. Billions and billions were lost by banks.
Lack of trust and confidence has now developed to the point where wholesale banks are refusing to lend to each other - an essential trading activity that keeps the wheels of commerce moving.
The knock-on effects are potentially disastrous for everybody from the greatest movers and shakers to the ordinary Joe and Joan.
Share prices in banks and construction companies have nose-dived. That pension you were planning on to retire to Spain is shrinking away. The actions of greedy and irresponsible banks in offering loans to people who had a poor credit history will destroy the value of your pension.
Here in Ireland, the PR people are spinning soothing expressions of confidence in our main banks. We have no problems, they say. We are not exposed to any possible liquidity problems, they murmur calmly. This at a time when the stock market value of Irish banks is a third of what it was a year ago. No problems?
What nonsense!
It is of course a front designed to keep the confidence of their customers. In the back office, you can bet your life there is panic.
And if they are panicking, then you should be having heart attacks.
If a run comes on an Irish bank and it collapses you get between 5% and 20% of your deposits back at most. And you will wait for it.
It is laughable at times to see how institutions and politicians delude themselves into thinking that Ireland is somehow insulated from the problems of the world because of our great economic achievements as a small nation in the last 15 years. The accidental Celtic Tiger has coated us with the lacquer of invincibility, it seems.
Let us spell out the reality. One week ago, Bear Stearns had assets under management equal to eight times the GDP of Ireland! Today they are no more.

Our advices is take your money from your bank and lodge it in Northern Rock.
The British taxpayer is paying to guarantee you that it is safe.
It will save you a trip to the pharmacy for those sleeping tablets!

A Saint Patrick’s Morning : A poem for a dear friend of mine

2008-03-19T13:34:00.000Z

The sun rises and gives off a glorious red hue,
the splendor which bathes the promising east.
Saint Patrick’s Day slowly creeps to life
As Ireland prepares to celebrate his feast.
The nurse moves silently around his bed
checking the many drips on a listless arm
that once had the power and strength
to tackle the hardest chore on the farm

On a cold and bright Saint Patrick’s Day
this man nourishes no desire or aspirations
to share his nurses cheery vision of how
she will partake in the day’s celebrations
another pulls the curtains and sunlight arrives
without invite or welcome to his sunken eyes.
He can muster only a cough to register his protest
that goes unheard among the gossip and the lies

More voices now converse loudly about him
careless and abstract as though he was not there.
Isolated by plumy tones of rich medical jargon
his miscomprehension a comfort blanket threadbare.
Dignity leaves you without smile or wave in this place
and tranquility is not yet the expected welcome guest
that comforts you in this surrendering dimension
and accompanies you to your one last harvest

He speaks little now, perfunctory is more convenient
than to give stature to false and optimistic platitude.
His mind is floundering in a deep dark forest of recess,
searching for the distant sunny clearing of gratitude.
Failing, for he is proud, and noble were his ways.
Of fair dealings, no man with a lie can ever unravel.
Transparency was his castle built high on a hill.
Decency and honour the avenue covered in finest gravel.

PADDY’S DAY – DON’T YOU JUST LOVE IT!

2008-03-13T10:07:00.000Z

Next Monday is St. Patrick’s Day – and the publicans rub their hands in glee. You see they hate it when it falls on a Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday because the weekend is not latched onto it, and therefore turnover, and hence profits falls down.
We mention the publicans first, not out of any malice towards them, but rather to get the priorities in their correct order when it comes to describing the manner by which the majority of people celebrate the Holy Day of their Patron Saint.

Frankly, this scribe finds the whole parade business a lot of bullshit. Trucks, tractors, vans and jeeps pull tacky, garrulous floats up and the cities and towns of the country. The streets are lined with freezing cold children who are pissed off after the first ten floats pass by and want to go somewhere else.
Those who are not freezing on the footpaths are slowly dying of hypothermia standing on the back of some grossly themed display that nobody can understand, but may have some deep artistic meaning known only to those who devised it in the first place.
In many cases, the only reason that adults are lining the route along with the kids is because of the booze-up that will take place all day afterwards in the bars and hotels throughout the country. You will later that night find those same freezing kids asleep in the corner of some pub whilst their auld fella drunkenly sings a rebel song by which to remember St Patrick.
The parade will have high-kicking American high school bands and every conceivable brass band that exists in the country will be out in force. This is their glory day and a perfect opportunity to show their talents to what they wrongly perceive to be an adoring public. Every voluntary organization from sports clubs to scouts will dress up and make the effort to enjoy being gawked at by the crowds on the pavements. The only reason they are there at all is that some local busybody with plenty of time on their hands (think public servant) has decreed that the town must have a parade. It doesn’t matter about the quality, just get the quantity. Oh, the madness of it all!
Have you ever tried to go anywhere on a Paddy’s Day in Ireland? Actually drive somewhere in the country when you logically think that the road are quiet and free of trucks and commuter traffic.
Maybe you wanted to visit your mother in Ballydehob, or your grandchildren in Kiltimagh, instead of getting pissed out of your brains down at the local.
How do you get there? Every town and village across the state has a parade. They all start at different times, usually from 11am to 4 pm. There is traffic chaos in and around these places as the parade first lines up on the outskirts of the venue, and then proceeds at a snails pace past some local dignitaries (probably more public servants) standing on the back of a trailer in the middle of town.
So you sit there in your car, fuming as some jumped-up local community volunteer, elevated way beyond his status by the wearing of a high-viz jacket, tells you cannot move for an hour because of this very important event.
The country towns are the worst offenders for the quality of the parades. Anybody who has a business in the area, particularly if it involves wheels, is encouraged to come along.
It is probably an ego upper to be asked to partake in the first place, so Mickey Joe with his ten identical tippers trucks will put the whole lot on show, all clean and shiny.
Not to be outdone, John Joe, who owns the local skip hire business, will lash a dozen identical skip trucks into the convoy.
Of course, Willie Joe, with his agri-machinery business, will get star billing with combine harvesters and tractors with all sorts of contraptions attached to them. Naturally, Willie Joe will be piloting the lead machine and because of the slow pace of the parade, he roars down to potential customers along the footpath. Never one to miss a sales opportunity is our Willie Joe. The kids in crowd go wild when he invites some of them on board and the farmers whisper enviously on the street about the cost of the fancy equipment he has on display.
Add to that, every car-dealer in the area will have all their models on display in every available color, resulting in a tailback akin to what would be on the M50 on a Friday evening.
Meanwhile, you the unfortunate hoor that just wants to see your mother or grand children are forced to watch and wait whilst all this unfolds slowly in front of your unadoring eyes.
When you finally get moving, you are not on the road for twenty minutes when lo and behold another high-viz power junkie waves you to a halt at the edge of a village and the whole exercise is repeated.
Except, this time it is worse, because in addition to the local entries in this parade, you realize that the cars, trucks and skips from the last parade have made their way from the last place joined in as well! This is common practice in rural areas and ensures that the last parade in a particular county will be the longest
So there are you stuck again, having a Groudhog St. Patrick’s Day experience all over again.
Willie Joe is there again, sure enough, and him still roaring out of the combine harvester. Not that you can hear anything of course, because Mickey Joes’s tippers have mighty powerful air horns. Star attraction in this town is those twenty-three artics and trailers belonging to local hero, Paddy Joe’s International Transport and his air-horns are even louder than them feckers in the tippers!

You curse yourself for not going to your own local pub and getting pissed like everybody else. You are now stranded halfway to your destination and with no chance of seeing the mother or the grandchildren.
You are left with no alternative but to do a u-turn and head back home.
Just to put he finishing touches to your Paddy’s Day, a couple of miles out the road another high-viz jacket appears at a roadblock and informs you that you are 30 kilometres over the speed limit and dishes out a ticket and two penalty points!

Sure isn’t St. Patrick’s Day great crack altogether!

PAISLEY: WHY NOT THEN RATHER THAN NOW ?

2008-03-10T11:14:00.001Z

So, big Ian Paisley retired from politics at last. Dr. No, the most aptly applied moniker to the thundering preacher, left the Northern Ireland political scene through the side door rather than the marble exit as the forces of negativity in his own party got their way.

To judge by the acres of newsprint devoted to his leaving last week, one would think that Paisley was some sort of a saint, on whom praise was heaped for the wonderful achievements in a lifetime of work in the fiery cauldron of Northern Ireland politics.

There is no doubt that the last few years in Ulster politics have been hard to digest. Almost forty years of conflict, terror and massive loss of life across both Catholic and Protestant communities ended with Paisley as First Minister of the Northern Ireland Assembly and his arch-nemesis, Martin McGuiness of Sinn Fein, as his deputy leader.

Five years ago if somebody dared to predict such a scenario, they would immediately be carried away by the men in the white coats and never seen again.

It is without doubt astounding to see what has happened since the St. Andrews Agreement was signed two years ago. Decades of negotiation and intervention by American Presidents and political leaders, such as George Mitchell, failed to bring the two sides to any agreement. When it appeared on so many occasions that a final deal was about to be struck, Dr. No said exactly that and failure was a certainty.

Ever since the extremist DUP, led by Paisley, routed the more moderate UUP in various elections and became the Loyalist standard-bearers, the future of Northern Ireland seemed destined for more decades of decay. Exactly the same scenario was occurring on the Nationalist side of the fence where Sinn Fein created a powerful voting machine in working-class areas of the North to overcome the moderate SDLP and become the hard voice of the Republican movement.

Moderation was replaced by polar opposite extremity. Those watching on sidelines could not contemplate the possibility that anything remotely positive would happen in Northern politics because of the differences and historical hatred between the two sides.

Yet, incredibly, it did. The two sides settled down to working on practical day-to-day issues and genuine political problems. Paisley and McGuiness became known as the “Chuckle Brothers” such was the warmth of their working relationship.

Paisley came to Dublin, all smiles and bonhomie, to greet Bertie Ahern as though the man was a life-long friend.

The world looked on in amazement. This was a modern-day conversion of St. Paul on the road to Damascus. The immovable object that was Ian Paisley had seen the light on the M1 to Dublin! We rubbed our eyes in disbelief.

We were not alone. So too did the members of the DUP. What they saw was betrayal by an ageing and unwell egotist that wanted a grand epitaph on his tombstone. After years of being the hard-line bigot that blocked every peace initiative, Paisley had melted like ice cream in the summer sun as he prepared to meet his maker.

Peter Robinson and his cohorts wanted rid of him before any more harm was done. So, Big Ian and little Ian were shown the door last week no matter what way it was purveyed by the spin-doctors. The red flag of Ulster conveniently hid the knives in both their backs.

It was in retrospect no more than Paisley deserved. He should not be remembered grandly or graciously by history. His was the loud, inciting and unreasonable voice of prejudice when the troubles started in 1968.

The denial of civil rights to the minority Catholic population by the people and institutions he represented lit the fire that was to follow. Paisley and his “No Surrender” outpourings fanned the flames. His malignant influence created the loyalist terror gangs on the streets and the political thugs in chambers of power that undone the efforts of moderate and good men to bring peace about in those early years of conflict.

The real heroes of the torturous and protracted journey to where Northern Ireland stands today were conveniently forgotten last week in the hype surrounding Paisley’s conversion and departure.

The courage of John Hume to take the quiet, but momentous, step of engaging in secret talks with the IRA in 1994 kick-started this whole process. His name barely received a mention in all the demented rhetoric last week.

The ability of the leaders and doers in the Republican movement to convince their members to a cease-fire first in 1994, and then to give up their arms before any concessions from the Loyalist Para-militaries, are the foundations on which the existing power-sharing assembly is built.

When all the hard, ungrateful work was being done in the years since then, Paisley stood in the middle of the narrow road to peace, arms held wide, obstructing and halting the journey at every opportunity. Only at the last moment did he make concessions

Why he changed attitude so dramatically we will never know. Senility or conscience perhaps? Alternatively, the desire to be remembered benignly in the history books of the schoolchildren not yet born.

Shed no tears at his forced departure or sing no songs of praise.

Paisley had the power to this in 1974, not 2008.

A last minute conversion will not dismantle the structure of hatred and division that he built in his time.

He chose to use his influence not in search of peace but the pursuit of intolerance.

A suitable epitaph, perhaps?

ARM THE POLICE AND SHOOT THE BASTARDS!

2008-03-07T09:23:00.000Z

The recent tragic and horrifying killings of two Polish men in Drimnagh, Dublin brings us back to a topic that we mentioned some weeks ago in our series of “10 THINGS THEY DON’T TELL YOU ABOUT AN IRELAND VACATION”.

Two innocent young men, going about their business were attacked for no apparent reason and stabbed to death with screwdrivers by a gang of up to 20 youths, male and female, outside a chipper. The fact that they were Polish was only incidental to the matter – they could have been anybody.

By coincidence, Bertie Ahern was on a visit to Poland when this happened and the incident prompted him to go on TV there and sympathize with the Polish people about the loss of their two young compatriots.

We have no problem with Bertie doing that – it is mere good manners and whether he was in Poland or Ireland, he would be expected to state those sentiments. It is what he added to those comments that make the blood boil.

He emphasized that this was not the Ireland that he knew and this sort of violence was isolated and was not to be taken as a reflection of life in Ireland.

Are you for real Bertie? Do you ever go out at night apart from crossing the road to Fagans pub, escorted by your entourage of Special Branch agents? Does nobody in your massive pool of advisors ever tell you what the real Ireland is like after dark?

When your own Minister of Defence, Willie O’Dea, is not himself brawling in some Limerick pub, would he not enlighten you about the mean streets of our towns and cities around the country?

What about asking your Minister for Justice, Brian Lenihan, whose brief includes being in charge of the Gardai, for some information as to the real facts of what life is like for many unfortunate communities and individuals in Irish villages towns and cities?

If an accurate answer is given – which is unlikely- you will be told of old people being terrorized in their homes, of decent people being attacked on the streets by groups of yobbos who record the savagery on their mobile phones, of young couples out for a night being left for dead after being targeted by these scumbags.

You should be told of the horror of a family being told in the middle of the night that their son or daughter is brain-damaged after the work of these sub-human animals.

Can you imagine what that family and victims have to live with for the rest of their life?

When the headlines (if there are any) subside, can you begin to realize what the implications are for any family who now have a vegetable for a son or daughter who once brought sunshine and light into their lives? In a moment of blind madness, their circumstances are forever changed.

The parents and siblings become carers and all the dreams, aspirations and happy occasions that they imagined for their child evaporate just like the hot air you produce when you glibly pass off what happened in Drimnagh as “isolated”.

The truth is there are Drimnaghs every night of the week in Ireland. Not all end in death, although that would be the intention. Many end much worse, and do not even warrant a mention in the local media.

There is now an underclass in Ireland created by the monster of drink, drugs and lack of policing that regard random violence as recreation –something to do to highlight the night out – and have no remorse or emotion about the consequences of their actions.

We have said it here before; you fight fire with fire.

You Bertie, Brian and Willie have a duty of care to the law-abiding citizens of this country. Bring in a bill to arm the police. Ignore the moaning and whining you will hear from the civil liberties gang – just do it!

In addition, do what you have promised so often and increase those police numbers to what is needed to ensure that this cancer stops spreading.

Instead of cops stopping old men driving home after a couple of pints in their local, go arm them and put those same cops on the streets of Drimnagh and all its counterparts.

And so what if they shoot a scumbag who threatens violence on innocent people?

We don’t want any enquiries. Just give the cop a medal and tell them to go do more of the same.

Then, and only then, Bertie you might find yourself in a position to say that such incidents as Drimnagh are isolated.

In the meantime do not insult the victims, and those left to mourn and care for them, with your glib lies that all is well on the streets of Ireland. You do the country no service.

WHAT A HORRIBLE COUNTRY IRELAND CAN BE

2008-03-03T10:09:00.001Z

The state and all its machinations is a very powerful enemy. Try fighting Ireland in the courts of our land over an issue that may set precedent for further action against it and you will soon know that the force is against you.
The fully armed battalions of government power will mobilize to crush the individual as surely as the foot of an elephant will crush an ant. The massive resources of the overweight bureaucracy, paid for by the taxes of the individual it is going to war with, creates a Goliath that David simply will never overcome.
Take the recent High Court case taken by Wicklow couple, Cian and Yvonne O Cuanachain on behalf of their son, Sean, requesting the State to provide their autistic child with 30 hours per week of specialist therapy known as Applied Behavioural Analysis (ABA), which is a proven method of individual treatment for autistic children.
At present, such children are taught in select mainstream National Schools in dedicated classes. However there are only 12 of these schools in the country and there is a waiting list of 345 children now for places in such schools.
What the O’Cuanachain family wanted was for the Department of Education to provide the funds and facilities to give these children a better future. They had already paid out thousands of euros to have seven-year old Sean have private ABA therapy because they could see the benefits it was giving him.
Last year, the High Court rejected their claim. Last month, the same High Court rejected their claim for the legal costs of taking the action. It deemed that the 5 million euro bill be carried by the HSE, the Department of Education and the O’Cuanachain family.
The first two will simply rob the taxpayer’s pockets to pay the legal eagles, whilst the unfortunate family, burdened already with the daily ritual of caring for their son, is left with the possibility of losing the roof over their heads to pay their share of the costs.
The reason for all the heavy –hitting artillery employed by the State in the 68-day hearing was not to just conquer this single unfortunate family.
It was to make sure that the precedent was not established to allow the other 345 families step up to the Government dining table to seek the crumbs to which they too would be entitled.
Mary Hanafin, so-called Minister for Education, sitting at the head of this particular table in her obnoxious school-marm arrogant mode, dismissed the concerns of the family and even refused a request to visit a school to see for herself the inadequacy of the current welfare her brief provides for theses children.
So a family that had the courage to fight Goliath Ireland if left crushed like the ants for the sake of what? A 10 million euro bill for proper ABA treatment?
Perhaps, even 20 or 30 million euro that it might cost to care for a tiny minority of citizens that the Constitution of the Republic of Ireland states it has a duty of care to. The family is the cornerstone of our Constitution, the ultimate core value protected by its parameters. Read it – it is there in black and white. Watch- as the State JCB drives over it and smudges the ink and the rights of those families enshrined in that document.
A few years ago, Noel Dempsey was Minister for Education. In a Dail debate on a subject unrelated to his brief, he defended one of the numerous costly follies that the Government had ventured into - and lost vast amounts of money on - as an exercise where “only 50 million euro was lost”. Only 50 million euro, you say! Loose change, you might say. Merely the cost of a consultants report, one would guess.
Yes, the State will crush its own when it thinks the “folly” of a family caring for the needs of their child will dent the Exchequer figures, even by as little as 30 million euro.
In addition, in case the impression given is that I have a political axe to grind with Fianna Fail only, let us quickly correct that by saying:
“Hang your head in shame Michael Noonan, ex-Fine Gael Minister for Health, who used all the legal torture instruments of the State to hound a brave mother and wife, Brigid McCole, to her death in 1995, because of the Hepatitis C blood infection scandal. On her deathbed you offered her a pathetic amount on the basis that she stays quiet and the farthings you offered were “without predejuice” to prevent any precedent being set”

You know something folks.
Ireland is a horrible little country to live in, ran by horrible little people!

INSULAR IRELAND IS ALIVE AND WELL !

2008-02-29T09:32:00.002Z

I love elections. Not just Irish elections - but elections on a global scale. Democracy is a fragile soul – a waif-like creature who is only allowed to give her blessings to one third of the worlds estimated six billion populations.
For that, we should be both grateful and ashamed. Grateful for what we have in democracy for all of its faults. Ashamed that as a member of the United Nations, we participate in a sham of so-called representation of all the worlds sovereign states, and yet allow five of the great powers dominate and control the agenda. An agenda that is designed to ensure that democracy will never will never reach the remaining four billion people on the planet.
I could go on about the United Nations and the veil of silk it wears to hide the running sores but you probably would get as completely pissed off reading about it as we do writing about it.
Instead, let us focus on the American primaries for the US presidential elections in November. It is certainly one of the most exciting races in years, particularly the Democratic nomination contest. Anti-post favourite, Hillary Clinton, looks in grave danger of being caught on the final uphill furlong by Obama. John McCain on the Republican side looks home and dry having at one point early in the campaign being on the verge of quitting because of lack of funding.
So what does all of this mean for us here in Ireland?
A good friend of mine surprised me during the week when questioned about his views on the US elections. He claimed to have no interest in them at all, stating that we had enough to do about running our own country to be wasting time watching the Americans go through their admittedly torturous procedure of electing their President.
The reason for our surprise was that this was intelligent guy who ran his own business, which supplied outsourced computer services to about ten multi-national companies in the medical and pharmaceutical fields. Eight of the ten companies were American!
Yet this businessman professed no interest whatsoever in the policies or promises of any candidate in relation to Ireland. He felt that once the peace process in the North had settled in there would be no interest in Ireland by American politicians, as they had no gains to make by making Ireland an issue.
If he had taken the time to study the matter, he would realize that the opposite is true. Ireland is an issue but not in the beneficial sense. Hillary Clinton has long promised that if she gets into power she will impose a 30% tax on American multi-nationals who base themselves in low tax environments to avoid paying US taxes.
Any American companies based in Ireland only pay 12.5% tax on profits to the Irish state coffers at present and none in the US as there is a place a bi-lateral taxation agreement in place between the two countries.
Whether Clinton is elected or not will not matter. The US is heading into deep recession and whether it is McCain or Obama who occupies the Oval office instead of Clinton, making wealthy foreign-based companies pay more tax at home is a popular proposal.
American companies are well known for artificially boosting their profits in a low tax regime such as Ireland. If they are going to be hit with a 30% tax on those profits this country will suddenly become a much less attractive place to do business.
The grey suits in these companies will do the numbers and arrive at a cold ruthless conclusion; there are better places to be than here.
I thinks it is time that our good friend starting taking a more active interest in American politics!

WHY BUILD ANOTHER STADIUM IN DUBLIN?

2008-02-25T10:45:00.002Z

Last Saturday the Irish rugby team played Scotland in Croke Park, in heart of north side Dublin. Since the first games of rugby were played in Croke Park in 2007, following the decision of the GAA to allow games other than Gaelic games be played there, there have been many wonderful highly charged occasions following the Irish rugby team.
The most notable and inspiring game was when Ireland beat England in February 2007. This scribe was lucky enough to be present at what was a wonderful sporting occasion that did more for Anglo-Irish relations than decades of political arguments had failed to achieve.
The first game of rugby played at Croke Park two weeks before the England encounter resulted in a last minute robbery try by France, which ultimately deprived us of the Grand Slam.
After that, things went downhill and we had a disastrous World Cup in France of which enough has been said already.
Italy played in Croke Park in the first of the Six Nations championship and Ireland scraped home against them. France then gave us a walloping in Paris and we now arrive at the Scotland game needing to win.
The form of the team is not the point we are trying to arrive at; instead, one only has to look at the interest for the game to realize that Croke Park was full to the rafters with over 82,000 people. Tickets were like gold dust, even with an obnoxious 100-euro price tag. The rugby brigade is a hardy animal and will support the team through thick and thin, irrespective of the importance or not of the game.
Croke Park, particularly after that historic English game has become a new home to the Irish rugby team, almost a temple indeed, because of the manner of that victory and all the political ramifications that went with it.
With the price of the tickets as a barometer, the GAA are obviously cleaning up and laughing all the way to the bank.
The supporters, many of whom would break every traffic light in Drumcondra on their way to the airport, such was their fear of the area, are now happily downing pints in Quinns and The Big Tree and even in Fagans, Berties favourite watering hole after a tough day at the Mahon Tribunal.
In short, the rugby crowd has taken to Croke Park like ducks to water and why wouldn’t they? It is one of the best stadiums in Europe and yet in their ostrich-like position with their head in the sand, the IRFU are building a mini Croke Park at Landsdowne Road that will only hold half of the capacity of the Drumcondra venue.
Is there no degree of common sense amongst blazers in both organizations to do a deal and keep Croke Park as the main rugby venue?
It is too late now of course, but I feel that if the IRFU and the GAA know now what they didn’t know then, you can be sure Landsdowne Road would be a building site – for offices and apartments!

5 and 6 of 10 THINGS THEY DON’T TELL YOU ABOUT AN IRELAND VACATION.

2008-02-18T12:15:00.000Z

5. The dangers of driving in Ireland: Ireland has one of the worst road accident fatality rates in Europe despite numerous campaigns to stop the carnage by the Road Safety Authority (RSA). There are many factors involved in trying to identify the causes and isolate the segment of the population that contributes to these horrific accidents.
The one common denominator that that stands out is that the majority of deaths are of young people under the age of 25.
The other compelling statistic is that most deaths take place between midnight and 8am.
A third element that stands out is that approximately 20% of the accidents in which there is a fatality involve non-nationals – mostly east Europeans from Poland, Leftie, Romania and other neighbouring countries in that region.
Drink and drugs, combined with the irresponsibility of certain sections of our adolescent society, along with high-powered cars, small as they might be, lead to the creation of a lethal cocktail that invites disaster. In the past number of years the incidents of tourists on an Ireland vacation, being involved in fatal car crashes has increased year on year with many more suffering serious injuries.
Driving in Ireland is fraught with danger so just be careful out there!

6. Do not get sick whilst on an Ireland Vacation: Before departing on your vacation to Ireland, make sure to have a thorough medical check up. Any little problems you might have that have a possibility of flaring up in Ireland, get them sorted.
The Irish healthcare system is the worst in the world. In poorest Africa, they have better care facilities. Our hospitals are an unmitigated disaster zone, particularly in the A+E area. There is not enough of staff to manage what would be considered the normal daily problems that any hospital could expect.
If you, as a visitor to Ireland, have the gross misfortune to have to go to an A+E department of any Irish hospital then prepare yourself for a nightmare. You will be left waiting for hours on end in a crowded waiting area. The extent of your injuries, or illness, will not merit any speedy response above those who may have less pressing problems.
On average, you will wait 7-8 hours before a harassed junior doctor will see you. He or she will make an initial diagnosis and tell you that they will try to find a bed for you and will be right back with some medication. You will never see them again.
Many hours later, an orderly might appear and tell you the good news that a bed has been secured for you. He will then tell you that it is a temporary bed, which turns out be a trolley, on which you will lie on for at least four days, parked in a narrow draughty corridor with people rushing by ignoring your plaintive pleas for help. Your loved ones will visit and make angry requests for better treatment for you. The response will be a vacant stare and a Gallic-type shrug of the shoulders, an utter indifference to the torture you are going through.
Such is the Irish healthcare system.
You have been warned!

The Irish Patient

2008-02-18T12:14:00.001Z

In 1996, British director, Anthony Minghella, had a massive hit with his film, The English Patient, a tale of love, lust and the horror of war set in Italy towards the end of World War 11. The film, which won nine Academy Awards, and deservedly so, and starred Ralph Fiennes. The film depicted the triumph of love in the midst of the torture and terror of war that engenders awful depravity in human beings. .
We are reminded of that thought-provoking film this week by the announcement that the Irish Film Institute has commissioned a film to be called The Irish Patient. This has no connection with the above film or novel.
The film is set in Ireland, a wealthy country located in northwest Europe. The film, which has an over-18 rating, will in our view, find it difficult to pass the scrutiny of the Film Censorship Board such is the high content level of horror and violence.
The plot is a little far-fetched to sustain credibility. It is based on a 1981 novel by noted fantasy author C.J. Haughey, (1925-2006) called The Tightening of the Belt. Producer, Albert Ahern, a confessed fan of all Haugheys’s works, has allowed considerable artistic licence to director Mary Harney to expand the theme.
Harney is, of course, well known from previous hit movies such as No More Smoking Chimney Stacks (1987) which really got her noticed in LA. She got two Oscar nominations for the 1998 unforgettable thriller that struck terror into the heart of taxi drivers in much the same way as Fatal Attraction did to wandering husbands, Deregulate the Bastards! This really set her on her way to success.
The Irish Patient portrays what can happen to a wealthy, smug, middle-class society when a very rare virus, called HSE, breaks out in this island nation of four million people.
HSE is a disease of the brain, thought to have originated in the island of Madagascar, off the African coast. Returning missionaries and health care workers unwittingly bring the disease into Ireland where it wreaks havoc in a chilling and most unusual way. HSE is a selective killer attacking the brain of medical and administrative health workers and Government civil servants. Death is a slow tortuous process as the brain cells melt away over a prolonged period. We do not want to spoil the cinema experience for our readers by giving away too much of the storyline, but suffice it to say that this is not for the faint-hearted. As the HSE attacks the brain, delusion combined with denial of this delusion creeps into the unfortunate victim. Doctors imagine that they are working in the Third World and act accordingly. They complain that their equipment is out of date, some of it is twenty years old, they shriek maddeningly. Health officials, meanwhile, are affected by particularly virulent strains of HSE causing them to close down hospitals and refuse admission to those whom the doctors deem not sick enough. But - and here is where Harney excels at twisting the knife and subjecting the viewer to mental agony - the doctors are no longer able to judge whether their patients are well or not. Their brains are disintegrating and they no longer have the ability to function properly. Chaos reigns and there are some terrible scenes which fully justify the over-18 cert.
Patients lie moaning and screaming on trolleys, the hospital cleaners won’t do any cleaning and stench and filth emanate from the operating theatres. Hospital porters become so deluded that they think they are now radiologists, and in a particularly harrowing chapter of the film, hundreds of women are recalled because they were given incorrect results of breast cancer screens, analyzed presumably by the porters. Unfortunate women are now told that they have cancer having been given the all clear months earlier. Scenes of heartbreak and emotion are too much to take at times, but Harney is gifted at projecting fantasy as reality. However, she may in some peoples eyes have overstepped the mark with The Irish Patient, and many critics feel it is not ethical to project such unrealistic images.
The disease spreads quickly throughout the country. Riots and panic erupt in the mid-west and the police are forced to baton charge an angry crowd in Westport. Many people are injured but unfortunately there are no ambulances to bring them to hospital as the medical administrators, now in the last throes of the awful disease, refuse to put fuel in the ambulances and instead put the funds into their pension plans. We would be acting unfairly to reveal any more of the plot but suffice it to say it gets worse.
Ahern, the producer, has stated to Variety magazine that he feels The Irish Patient is his best work, but the critics have savaged the movie, branding it as implausible and too much over the top for a horror movie. Ahern has taken umbrage at such criticism and threatened not to make any more movies. He indicated that was going to retire at 60 anyway, and said he didn’t give a damn what the critics and film goers thought about him.
As for Harney, given her previous success with unlikely material – Don’t Tell The Tanaiste springs to mind - do not be surprised if The Irish Patient horror movie defies the critics and is a box office success.
All we can say is just hope that the HSE bug never becomes a reality.
Sleep well!